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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
soimnothecrazee1 – i am hypo thyroid also, have been for 25 years. one of the things that has helped out tremendously with my of whack system post MCS and spath is adrenal supplementation. HUGE difference. I take desiccated bovine adrenal supplements.
hens – I agree that we have to look at what brought us to the point of being abused by spaths and figure out what we need to heal, and to change to not be standing in the cross hairs again. and I also think that we can only take responsibility for what we did and recognize that when dealing with the disordered nothing is normal and we need to forgive ourselves our fantasies and bad self disrespecting behaviours.
there is a line in an adele song that i love because it is applicable to relationships with spaths: ‘Yes, I swam dirty waters, but you pushed me in.’
onesteprs – I love that ‘line’….I used to say of myself ‘ when you look under rocks for love you only find slime….i had to change my behaviors and look higher.
hens, you reminded me of a hungarian saying that is about depression. one says they are feeling ‘lower than a toad’s ass’. 🙂
you know what i find hardest – believing there is anyone for me at that higher level. not that i don’t deserve it – it’s not that, it’s that i just don’t believe there is anyone there, so i don’t even look. i don’t even know how i would define ‘higher.’
i had dinner with a young friend last night. we work in the same industry and we have had dinner several times and just sit and talk about a variety of things. he’s far from home and he is young enough to be a child of mine. He was talking about his ex gf, and i really found it hard to listen to him make allusions to their former sex life. We are pretty comfortable with one another – and it wasn’t that it was inappropriate in general, but it was for me, because it just feels like all of that is behind me and that makes me want to shoot myself. i really can’t contemplate the rest of my life alone. really, to me, relationships are very important and it took years to understand that. i know that for lots of other people it’s the other way around – it takes them years to realized how important their relationship with themselves it. i spent the first part of my life serving my parents, both of whom are rampant individualists (with one being an n), so outside of serving them and making some not so great mate choices (because of that early training), i was still a rampant individualist. I have spent more of my life alone than with a mate.
i feel so let down. the n ex was the first in years – and she turned out to be an n. then the damn spath. i just can’t believe there is anyone for me. don’t know how i will ever get past that
onesteprs – lower than a toads ass is pretty darn low lol ~!
I can relate with what your saying onestep, I dont think there is anyone out there for me either, for the most part I am just to selfish at this point in my life to put forth the effort. I have become very comfortable with me. Dont get me wrong I still have those day dreams of finding the perfect partner, but perfect only fit’s my desire’s and has nothing to do with reality. I also feel as if I missed out on the chance of true bliss with a partner because of all the misinformation and childhood trauma that followed me into my adult life. I wish I knew now what I didnt know then.
onestep you never talk about going places to meet someone like yourself..are there any places, social clubs, charitys, events etc that would put you in with others like you? You are very deserving of someone higher, now that we have set the bar higher for ouselves we might be surprised if we just put ourselves in the right place?
hens, that’s why i went to the gender studies lecture…to talk to some folks who have interests in common. they were young university students. as i have said it’s a uni town. because of the employment situation most people in the 30 to 45 range have left. people come here to go to school or retire. it is a very middle class white culturally dead town, and not much space for queer arts types like me in my age range. so, there are not many places to go (or that i have been able to afford.) add the MCS on top (there are places i would go to if i could breath there – like a local bar where lots of indie bands play, and where they have community square dancing (yup!). but they use petroleum based air fresheners that i can’t handle.) I would also join the local st8t dance clubs, but my knees are fucked and i couldn’t handle the perfume. I would love to swim at the local y, but can’t handle the chlorine. i joined the local community choir, but their practice space is moldy and my face went numb immediately. i’d like to take an art class, but can’t be around the toxins…………………………………………………..
so.
there is lots i would like to do hens. and although i wouldn’t meet queer folk in most of those places (and the only queer stuff going on here is for 20 year olds), i would meet some folks i have interests in common with…………………….but it doesn’t work, not one bit of it. and really, there isn’t a damn thing i can do about it.
A survey I read said that there are more single people in the world than married. That says a lot!
Relationships are difficult. After my divorce, I had my 3 little girls to love and to love me. I didn’t have time or energy to start a new r/s. So, I accepted the fact that I was going to do it alone.
I finally met a man at work. It was more trouble than it was worth, but it was meant to be. I learned so much about myself and he filled certain needs that I had…for companionship, affection, friendship…etc. He turned out to be a liar, have antisocial personality disorder, a narcissist, and possibly a “sociopath”. But, the good that I took from it, and the lessons I learned were all part of my evolution, so to speak. I am a different person..much STRONGER than ever, and happy to be alone now.
Whoopi Goldberg said that she is happy without a man..She reads her books with her cats by her side…on her porch. She has lots of people in her life…and could care less.
I second that! I am fine right now without a partner. I guess its because I have my 3 girls, 2 dogs, 2 cats, guinea pig and fish and plants and a home….to take care of…
OH, Darla slept all night in her crate! I finally have energy back today. I’ve been a zombie for the last few days.
But, she is SO worth it. I feel grateful that that guy stopped and saved her life.
So, we need to look at the good we have. I say, if your’e healthy….you’ve won the lottery!
If you have your health, anything is possible!
tobehappy – now I third that ~! Whoppi do dah – life is good…
this is my point. i do not have my health, cats, children, a partner or lots of people in my life. i cannot pursue most of my interests because of health issues, nor can i have animals in my home because of those issues. my options are just really narrow.
2bhappy,
I was away for the weekend, and the last I read from you about Darla was that you were taking her to the vet an hour later. So, what did the vet say? How’s the front paw? Nice to hear she slept all night.