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Stress is contagious

You are here: Home / Recovery from a sociopath / Stress is contagious

November 11, 2011 //  by Donna Andersen//  103 Comments

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New research finds that stress in the workplace can spread from person to person. Read Work stress as contagious as a cold, says study, on HuffingtonPost.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Previous Post: « Bringing up our children, the hope of the world
Next Post: The manipulative man interview »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. tobehappy

    November 20, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    OH, Hello Darwin….and thanks for asking!

    I decided to bring her xrays to a vet in town. He said that her pelvis is NOT crushed. Only her hip is broken. Then he said the humerus bone in her upper arm is broken vertically into 3.
    BUT, he said its FIXABLE! I took her in the next day, and she now has a cast on the entire arm (paw lol). She slept all night and then cried today for an hour before we figured out what to do…she needed to poop! lol (good sign again). So she didn’t like the litter box and we put her in her new round bed…and out it came! lol! She’s been sleeping since.

    Poor thing…we will have the cast removed in 10 days as her hip heals..she cant walk yet. But, hopefully in 10 days her hip will heal more and the cast will be replaced with a smaller one.

    She sleeps on the middle of my dining room table, watched of course…all day. At night…the crate in my room with tv on. lol

    I can’t believe how sad I feel for this little black kitten!

    THANK YOU SOSOSOSO much for asking.

    They say that you live longer if you have an animal to LOVE>

    That positive LOVE toward anything brings peace!

    It sure does feel good!

    HUGS to you!

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  2. MoonDancer

    November 20, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    onestep – I get your point and wish there was a magic button we could push for you. What can you do? explore more options – get a goldfish – could you volunteer at a hospital where the inviroment is safer? You have the internet, a phone, a tv? Perhaps advertise for friendship with someone with similar restrictions/ hugz – i just dont know what to say and have prolly said to much…

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  3. tobehappy

    November 20, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    One joy….

    I’m sorry your health isn’t up to par.
    I don’t know your health problems. If you want to share…I would like to know.

    As far as not having lots of people…you don’t NEED lots of people. One or two close friends make your world happier. We all need people. But, I don’t have many CLOSE people in my life…my best friend died in 2003 and I will never have someone like him in my life again. But, my kids are the closest to me. They love me unconditionally. Hard to find in life.

    You sound like a nice person and I believe that you will have good people in your life if you want. I’ve weeded out so many and I’m more peaceful.

    Do you live alone? Do you live on the east coast?

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  4. skylar

    November 20, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    One Joy,
    When I feel my limitations, in my health, my situation etc…
    I remember my childhood sweetheart who got multiple sclerosis after we broke up.

    It eventually took him, but a few years before he died, he told me, “I don’t dwell on the things I can’t do anymore, I just think about the things I CAN do. Like fishing!”

    Well, he used to be a very active athletic person, and he was left with fishing. But he really liked fishing.

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  5. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    November 20, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    hens – you never say too much to me!

    a hospital is den of disease and bacteria i need to stay away from!!! 🙂 I have no desire to court friendship with people who have chemical sensitivities; everyone who has this stuff has a different mash up of problems, so it would be two people who could or could not do different things…that would narrow my life further. (edited to add: the last time i reached out for someone ‘just like me’ i caught a spath…LOL)

    sky – the bit i can do i am thankful for, but it isn’t enough to sustain a life over time. i will work towards getting better. don’t know if i ever will – but that’s what i need.

    2be – i lost my 2 closest friends during the post spath time. and during this past two years i have recognized what my father and sister are (narcs) and have cut them out of my life. this makes my access to my demented and much loved mom very difficult as she lives with my dad outside of town. She is too ill to go out (physical, can’t walk – the dementia i could handle in public), and I don’t have a vehicle to get to her. the first week she was in hospital recently i saw her every day (then i got pneumonia and had to stay away) and although it was very difficult because of the progression of her disease and the neglect she is suffering at the hands of my father and the way the staff treated her, it was still a blessing to be able to be with her.

    I moved to this area a few years ago, because my mom was ill. I left my friends overseas and my friends on the other side of the country – so there is little here for me at this time. My grandmother, who lives 4 hours away is slipping away.

    I have MCS – multiple chemical sensitivities – came with moving back here (mold) and with at work chemical injuries in the last 3 years – exacerbated by the spath crap.

    I have endured extreme poverty during the last three years due to illness, being fucked up by the spath and because there were no jobs to be had. The last 16 months i have had a well paying job and i am just trying to get back up on my feet. I am still very deeply in debt. I have shoes (we remember when I didn’t), a winter coat, enough clothes, a computer and enough food. I have been stockpiling essentials as my contract can disappear at any time. My medical costs are stupid high, and I can’t afford, as many here, to do all the things i need to do to make myself healthier.

    I have PTSD – and am getting sporadic (but good) treatment for that. it’s sporadic because the shrink who is doing it takes her dog to work (and i am newly allergic) and i have to sit outside to do the nuerofeedback as I can’t go into her office and without a car i can’t do it somewhere warm. i am trying to work something out with her.

    i have had fibromyalgia for 20 years and worked damn hard to make it go away. and it did. i have been on this shit health road before. and come back from it. the fibro is active again because of the MCS and adrenal fatigue that came with it and the spath.

    and have i mentioned that my trust is pretty beat up?

    okay – so that’s the list 2be. i get frustrated, lonely, hurt and tired out by the unrelenting crappiness of it all. i do my best to stay employed and try to mend my mind. i have made headway, but really, if i take a wide view – life is still shit.

    okay, i promise not to write out this list again. i have been a person who looks for the ‘alternative’ and is willing to try new things, take risks, explore, never say never. I do need a shift in attitude, but mostly, i need a friggin shift in life, health and ability.

    Right now, I will keep building on what i have, and i will work on getting care for my mom so that she isn’t being neglected. I just found out that the wonderful last caregiver who left late this summer, called the cops before doing so. my father is a pig, and i am going to try to find out what happened there. i have also decided that I am going to move ahead on suing him for the money he took from me. it might take a few months before i initiate, but i recognize that he will be in debt when he dies and i will never get what is legally mine, so i have to go after it now. i have to plan my strategy and be careful. it’s a bit difficult to keep things close to my chest – in general it’s not the kind of person i am, and because i hate him so much.

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  6. MoonDancer

    November 20, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    Your burden is heavy and you keep on keepin on onestep- I admire you for that, I dont think I could walk in your shoes let alone in your foot tracks. I only wish you the best.
    and like tobehappy says, we dont need alot of friends, If people have one true friend at the end of their life they are better off than most.. I do have people, family, pets, a home, decent health but really I dont have A friend to hang with, to go places with, to call when I am as low as a toads ass, I have you onestep and my other LF cyber friends to share my joy and sadness with,,,

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  7. Stargazer

    November 20, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    One joy,
    You certainly have a challenging situation. I have reasons why I don’t go salsa dancing or do a lot of the things I would enjoy, but mostly they involve money or self-esteem. Those things are workable at least. We have a member on our reptile forum who is allergic to sunlight. She can only go out after dark. Her choices for recreation are so very limited because of this. I feel for you as I feel for her. Which is a very good segue because I forget if there was some health reason you couldn’t have a little snake as a pet? They are wonderful animals to live with.

    Also, I remember a few weeks back you said you had made a new friend that you really liked. Just curious if there is any f/u with that?

    Hugs,
    Star

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  8. tobehappy

    November 20, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    One step….
    I think I understand your situation better now. I haven’t been here for awhile because I was so busy and overwhelmed with so many things that I was too exhausted to get the the computer. Now things have settled down and when Darla was hit by the car earlier this week, crazy as it sounds, I thought of my LF friends and came back for some intelligent advice, wisdom, and support. I never forget people who have “saved” me from pain, in my lifetime. NEVER.

    Three years ago, when I found LF, I had MAJOR health issues, major emotional issues…(PTSD) and major financial issues (my home was in deep foreclosure…impossible to recover).

    Now, one step, I have my house back after a 3 yr battle, I have recovered from my health problems, I got a grip on my emotional problems, (anxiety, depression, etc..) and I have a big mortgage payment to meet and financially I’m on the edge…but, I am going to make it somehow (started a small business selling unbelievable soy products…candles, soaps, skin care..etc..).Hopefully my “plan” to survive will work out.

    Ok, onestep, I will tell you the “secret” beneath all of my recovery efforts.
    I got into my SPIRITUALITY. Yes, I used my intelligence, and resources. But, I did a LOT of reading about how POWERFUL the mind is. I realized that my THOUGHTS and BELIEFS could change my life…my health, my entire life.

    I read Bruce Lipton, Louise Hay, Abraham-Hicks, Byron Katie…and I did what they told me to do!!! I had “BELIEVE” all over my house…little plaques, signs…FAITH all over …reminders that I create my own reality!!!!

    I learned an important thing….CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

    Guess what? I friggin worked!!!! It sounds easy. It wasn’t.

    What motivated me? My 3 children. I wanted to carry on to give them a good life. I couldn’t let them fall after all I did to get them where they were.

    I am not kidding. I changed my thoughts and decided to BELIEVE and I listened to the people who were enlightened on Youtube…read books…and totally got into my “spirtuality” .

    I refused to let the things that “happenned” to me in my life.. abusive childhood in the hands of a socio…bad genes..poor choices…define who I am TODAY.

    Its miraculous what has happenned to me in my life. And, onestep….I swear to you….It was all of the “spiritual” work I did on myself that changed my life.

    If you need help in this area…I can guide you. But, as I quoted someone….

    “If its important, you will find a reason…if its not, you wil find an excuse.”

    My life is too important to waste. This is not a dress rehearsal and, even though I look 40, I am 54, and I am going to enjoy everyday for the rest of my time here!

    You have the power to change your life.

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  9. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    November 20, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Hi Star,

    I wouldn’t bring any animal into this apt. it is still off gassing and they are such small creatures compared to a human. i would be worried for their health.

    i am going to work toward moving in the early summer – it depends on money. then i will look into a snake or a hairless cat (i keep seeing ‘kitty wardrobe’ and getting grossed out. LOL) who is a rescue if i can find one.

    I have had one outing with the person i met. invited him to something else last week, but he was not able to go. he is in school and very busy. Not sure if it will turn into a friendship or not – we have a few interests in common, and i would like to spend some time with him. But I don’t see huge interest on his part.

    I have also seen one of my ‘lost friends’ – 2 weeks ago. we had dinner at my place. it freaked me out, because i could feel myself slip into old habits with him. so, i made a decision not to. we didn’t contact each other for almost 2 weeks after the dinner. when we did he said something, and I said, ‘and what do you mean by that’, and ‘oh, why do you think that’ – i don’t want to fill in the blanks for people anymore. i have always worked way too damn hard in relationships, put more in than the other person, and i want to learn to not do that. (so, as much as i would like to see the fellow i met a few weeks ago – i have invited him out to things 2 times – now it’s *his* turn to initiate.)

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  10. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    November 20, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    hens – xoxoxoxox

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