Many readers have told me that Lovefraud is the most comprehensive website about sociopaths on the Internet. According to Google Analytics, Lovefraud gets more than 50,000 visits a month, and of them, almost half are returning visitors.
People return, I’m sure, because of the Lovefraud Blog. As of May 1, 2010, a total of 716 articles, and more than 72,400 comments were posted on the blog. We have a vibrant, helpful conversation going. We talk about why sociopaths do what they do, how we fell into the trap, how we can recover, and the huge problem that these predators represent in the world. Anything related to sociopaths is fair game for discussion on the Lovefraud Blog.
So why am I starting another blog?
My new book is called Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. This blog will focus on a topic that is occasionally touched on in the Lovefraud blog: Why, from a spiritual perspective, sociopaths may have come into our lives.
How can this be? When we pray to God to deliver us from evil, what possible spiritual reason could there be for evil in our lives?
I resisted this idea for a long time. I am an honest, forthright and honorable person. I played by the rules. I fulfilled my obligations. So why did I attract a lying, conniving con artist who took everything I had? Was this my reward for a moral, ethical life?
Eventually, I had to accept the fact that yes, as counterintuitive as it seemed, James Montgomery, my sociopathic ex-husband, was brought to me by the plan of the universe, the hand of God.
From time to time, I’ve briefly alluded to these ideas on the Lovefraud Blog, as have other Lovefraud readers in comments. But the ideas take a long time to explain—which is why I wrote the book.
So this blog will be a discussion of my book and the ideas that it contains. Some of you may consider my views to be too radical. Others of you may find the answers you were seeking.
In any event, it will be a fascinating conversation.
Frank Lee Speaking
Radical? Hardly, anyone who has been through the sociopath mill ends up chewing their teeth in frustration and rage until the penny drops and you realise that this was meant to happen for a reason. The reason was your personal growth. The sociopaths for all their using of other people are ironically the device which improves us. They are the losers – it is their victims who always win in the end.
I can honestly say I am better, more fulfilled and purposeful person following my dealings with sociopaths. Yes the early days are absolute hell. The sudden panic attacks. The sensation of blood pumping up and down your spine in the middle of the night. The fear of going out and having a beer with your pals as you might kill yourself when you get home to deal with the tsunami of churning emotional bedlam the sociopath has left in your being like a virus.
Yes, it last for months and months…
But then something happens. A light at the end of the tunnel which you did not expect. An encounter with a wise, nameless individual you met on train, or even a line in a book which changed everything. Suddenly you were no longer a drowing man or woman holding on to the bank of a raging river trying to save yourself.
You let go of the weeds on the river bank and you allowed the current to take you along. You are amazed to find out you are not drowing but being taken to a new place;
You’re true self.
Been there Donna, done that, bought the tee-shirt and now I am getting the book. Good luck. Although you won’t need it. Radical? Nah, the truth…and the only truth worth knowing.
Donna Andersen
Frank Lee Speaking:
You are so right. I hated to admit it. I resisted. I argued with the guidance I received. But when I finally stopped arguing, miracles happened. Quickly, too.