By Ox Drover
When we were kids most of us have heard the story of the Emperor’s new clothes, in which a very narcissistic emperor who wanted the most beautiful and wonderful clothes in his kingdom. Here is just a little bit of a different version.
Once upon a time there was a very narcissistic emperor who was very dumpy, unattractive, and had a very large nose, but he thought that if he had the most beautiful clothes in the kingdom that he would be very attractive to the ladies of the court. Even though he was a married man, he loved to have the ladies of the court admire his new clothes and tell him how handsome he was.
One day a couple of psychopathic con men were in a tavern trying to figure out a way to con someone who would be vulnerable to their scam and had lots of money. They finally came to the conclusion they would try to con the emperor.
They went to the palace one day when cloth vendors were invited to show their wares. There were people with bolts of lovely velvet material with gold stitching who showed their wares to the king, who admired it very much. Other vendors had cloth woven of spun gold and silver threads.
When the con men, who had a background as street mimes, came up to the emperor, they pretended to hold bolts of cloth in their empty hands. They explained to the emperor and the courtiers that this was magical cloth that only the honest and pure of heart could see and that would be invisible to anyone whose heart was not pure.
Of course, no one actually saw this wonderful and imaginary “cloth,” but each person didn’t want to be perceived as dishonest or not pure of heart, so everyone in the room was afraid and felt that if they were honest and said they did not see the cloth, that they would be in trouble, so they lied and exclaimed, “Oh, how beautiful!!”
The emperor, of course, did not see this imaginary cloth either, but he did not want to be perceived as dishonest or not pure of heart in front of his subjects, so he accepted what the psychopaths said as truth. He also lied and exclaimed, “How beautiful!”
The emperor sent all the honest cloth merchants away, and as they left the palace they were shaking their heads at what just happened. They admitted to each other that the emperor had been conned by the psychopaths, but were also afraid to speak up since it would make it appear they were demonstrating jealousy of the con men for getting the contract to make the emperor’s new clothes.
The psychopathic con men then agreed with the emperor to make him a unique and beautiful outfit like no one had ever seen before.
The emperor decided to have a parade the day his new suit was finished. The people were told that the emperor would be modeling his wonderful new suit of clothes and the day of the parade the streets of the capital city were lined with the peasants.
As the emperor pranced down the street with his crown perched merrily on his head, his shoes on his feet and his body entirely naked, the people of the city gasped in horror at the naked monarch they saw with their eyes, but were afraid to let anyone know they could not see the emperor’s clothes.
From the back of the crowd a small boy poked his head through the legs of the people in front and laughed out loud, “The emperor is naked!” The courtiers gasped at such an affront to the king’s dignity.
Since no one would admit that they saw the emperor naked, and the small child would not quit shrieking, “The emperor is naked!” the captain of the guard arrested the child and his parents and threw them into a dungeon.
When the child and his parents were brought before the emperor who sat naked upon his throne, the parents vowed that they could see the emperor’s lovely clothing and they didn’t know what they could do with their crazy child who continued to claim the emperor was naked.
The emperor decided that the child should be confined in a mental hospital because he was obviously crazy.
As the weather changed in the fall, the emperor called for the psychopathic tailors to create an outfit that would keep him warmer for the winter. Unfortunately no one could find them, they simply seemed to have left town.
The end.
Ain’t that just the chit! The p’s leave town, & the victim is left holding the legality bag, broke, & reputation shot! Thanks, Oxy, for giving this tale a new spin! I needed a reason to smile today!
Does anyone think that these sites are acctually set up to study Sociopaths?
Because we know they are not likely to seek professional help.
I got this link origianlly from LF .
“Warnnig” this is not a friendly site but it does offer a view from a safe distance. They seem to be just as mean to each other as they are to real people? I guess it is their desire to one up the other?
http://sociopathic.net/forum/index.php
Dear Easy,
I do not think they are set up to “study” psychopaths by anyone who is a legitimate researcher. I think that what you said about their desire to “one up” each other and the tendency for like-minded individuals to band together for mutual conversation is the reason. Also, they like to have an “audience” to appreciate their performances, at least some of them do. some of them also seem to me to be STUCK in an adolescent male attitude of “show off” to their peers. Not all adolescent males go through this and not all Ps do, but there seems to be a part of them who do.
STILES , glad you got a smile from my revision of this age-old tale…
OxDrover
Another story that came to mind when I read your revision was The boy who Cried wolf. I am sure you can adapt this one to the LF creed.
I made the mistake of posting on one of these sites when I was in the research mode. It was revealing in that They love a war of words . The kind we avoid spelling! I learned that there is No point. Like asking Parsites to be nice and eat rice!
http://www.healthline.com/channel/antisocial-personality-disorder.html
Help Lfer’s! This story kind of applies to my situation and i need your help once again. I have had NC with my S for a 6 or 7 weeks with one phone call slip, now it’s been another 6 weeks. I live in North Carolina (NC!),so does he. During the phone call he told me he was moving to Utah to hide from the child support people (first marriage). Utah is where his present wife is from and where 4 of her 5 kids are(he took one to NC with her but got her to leave her kids which were taken away from her fromm DSS but in her Mom’s care “cute”)-the one that he met while he was with me for 10 plus years and married 2 months later…that was a year ago-May. I won’t get into all the boring kaotic details.
I have done a great deal of healing, it took a long awful year of keeping contact off and on, his lying, getting $$, my addiction to him and hatred at the same time to let go of the kaosand I finally did. I’ve been feeling better and better and felt like I’ve started to get my life back..but psychically I felt there would be some contact and sure enough last Monday he left a message telling me he was definitely moving in 2 weeks blah blah blah-and he actually wanted to sell me a kennel for my dogs. First of all he knows i have a beautiful fenced in yard,second SELL!? he’s gotten so many thousands of dollars from me in various ways I would say it’s close to $100,000.
I was strong and happy he was moving, maintained NC -however all this sh__t is coming up this weekend. All the resentments, anger (I’m no where close to forgiveness anyway, but he wasn’t on my mind all the time). Today and yesterday, i’m obsessing, seething, just a little tempted to call but i don’t have his cell and he told me in his message he would be out of town until close to 8/4 starting saturday (yesterday). I don’t think I will call-because the silly thing about it is that I want him to make it all better. What all better, I ask myself? I guess it’s my loneliness- my one close friend is working all weekend- a couple I became friends with recently- I realized they were using me (too).
I’m sad, angry and angry that he’s on my mind more than he has been. I look forward to August 5th when he’ll be gone- but I just want to get back to the place I was in- where he was starting to fade instead of the forefront of my mind.
So the sociopath is leaving town YAY!!! far away (my mom says “he’ll be back which scares me-i said”he’s married” but she said “it doesn’t matter”, (his family is in NC too but she thinks he may come back to try again, I guess)
I’ve rambled on again but NEED YOU who may understand and give me some help and insight. Much Gratitude and Love to those of you who are so dedicated and giving even after you have finished your healing.
Britney Hammer
brit: Well, I certainly haven’t finished my healing so I can’t say I have any insights, but I just wanted to share that loneliness really gets to me too and I sometimes would like someone to make that better, even if it’s the ex, which is crazy, but I have those thoughts myself. It’s been about 3 mos NC for me with the latest one (yes, there is more than one) and I know if I see or hear from him I am going to start shaking and probably crying. But like someone recently said, I’m holding my own cards now and I’m not going to lay them on the table any more after 5 minutes, I’m keeping them to myself. Maybe we’re on the same journey to find the healing others speak of when they say being with themselves is enough, sometimes I do feel like a “complete” person, albeit a lonely one.
OxDrover: Great post! Loved it!
Shabby-thanks! My self
esteem is definitely getting better-I think this move across the country of his, although I’m
happy about it is kind of like closing
a chapter. All the things that he’s done, lied about, taken from me, the horrible drug addiction that I was led into and nearly lost my life (I’m not saying he shoved the pills in my mouth, mind you-but I probably would not have gotten so addicted to Oxycontin that the Doctor at the rehab said it was one of the most severe cases he has heard of), the $10,000 I loaned him from my trust for computer school and instead of doing that-he thought dealing Oxycontin would be more lucretive..all the times I tried to end it- in Florida, in Virginia, when I was at the rehab and home in PA., then the many times in NC- but he always managed to sway my little codependant self back into the relationship. ….Until he met her…looks like me, but cold, insensitve, angry, very poor backround and young. (he always went for older women)
the violent, unfeeling mother of five and just left without telling me (“I tried to tell you twice!”) Gee, that’s the kind of respect I get after 10 years??? I should have been glad to get rid of him- but I was so addicted to him, the kaos-so codependant I couldn’t eat, I lost my jobSuch anger, such hurt you all know what I’m saying…I’m so tired of it all- feeling like I’m coming around to having own life and then all this mess comes up… I hope it goes away as quickly as it came…it scares me to think he would be on my mind again alot of the time like he used to be 4 or 5 months ago.
Shabby, we need to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and do the next “right” thing I guess. Hopefully, more healthy people will come into our life as we get healthy.
Britney and Shabbychic
I can identify with both of you on the lonliness issue.
I escaped over a year ago and, albeit, a few painful calls from him, have been in NC since the beginning of the year.
Like Britney, I too got very badly ‘fleeced’ financially and this has added to the long-term consquences. Before I met the S, I had a much wider circle of friends and support – he put paid to plenty of those and it has been an uphill struggle to try to re-establish. Being financially limited doesn’t help either.
However, I find that setting myself goals to do things I enjoy everyday, little by little, has helped eased this. I know it can be hard to find the motivation and I hope that you won’t feel I am just stating the obvious and being ‘trite’. The physical has helped me alot – going off swimming, cycling, have a project in the garden – sometimes, just having someone to talk to about the ‘everyday’. I wish I could offer more but this has been my experience so far. It also means that sleep comes more easily. Yes, there are days when I feel that I am just exhausting myself but any distraction is better than the endless ‘going over’ in my head about the multitude of chaotic events that reduced my life to what it became last year.
All love to you both and keep posting for strength.
Britney, Shabbychick, & Escapee,
I can’t offer much of a solution, either, other than what I do. I always have a list of “projects” to do, that superman couldn’t finish in his lifetime. I usually end up working 60-70 hours a week, between my full time job, my part time job, & busy work. It keeps my mind occupied. I always get very depressed when I get to thinkin’ too much. All of my kids are out on their own, now, so I’ve become pretty much an invisible person.
I have lots of projects too, but on hot humid cloudy days, my knee hurts and these feelings are up for me (I think cause of the move, changes)…I don’t feel like doing any of the projects …It hurts to walk around-i”m filling out a job application right now (that should have been done Friday) then I’ll take a shower, then see what else there is to do, but I’m a little pessimistic and in self pity mode right now. I’m also Tv’ed out. 🙂