Why would a man who had no children and proclaimed himself an atheist buy a collection of decorative Easter eggs?
This is exactly what my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who I believe is a sociopath, did while we were together.
Now, these were not ordinary chocolate Easter eggs. One was a real egg, so big that it must have been laid by an ostrich, with a delicate feather attached and perched on a rustic wooden platform. Another real egg rested in a cozy, handcrafted nest of dried flowers, tied with a ribbon. Then there were two small wooden eggs from somewhere in Eastern Europe, delicately hand-painted.
The eggs all came from expensive gift shops. So why did my ex buy them? Because they were there.
Sociopaths feel no emotional connections to other people. Where most of us have feelings, they have empty voids. Apparently buying things fills the void, at least temporarily. Researchers have written about the link between sociopathy and consumerism.
I saw it first hand. I watched in amazement as, every time we went into a store, my ex-husband bought whatever was at the checkout counter—funky pencils, baseball caps, cartoon figurines. Of course, it was my money he was spending, all the while promising to repay me. No wonder I ended up bankrupt.
Sociopaths are smooth talkers with no sense of financial responsibility. Believe me, it’s an expensive combination.
Interesting and so true, Donna. My sociopath bigamist did the same thing, except it was purhasesfrom E-Bay, UBid, and any of those gadgets that they advertise on TV. No wonder I was paying most of the bills to run the house—he was left with plenty of money to buy his toys. His credit report, if printed, would kill a couple of trees; he has more judgments and liens than anyone could imagine—yet, he made almost 70K per year. He never owned a home but one of his favorite expressions when talking about someone else who didn’t have very much was: “he doesn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of”. I learned far too late that this was projection and that he was talking about himself.
I am the author of this, not the actual victim.
I am a woman engaged to a man that was a victim of a sociopath. To this woman, my man, was the perfect victim. He is loving and very trusting.He saw a “damsil in ditress” and stepped up to help her.
As it turned out she had big plans.
Her name is Wendy. My man’s name is Christian.
Wendy was living on the same floor of the apartment building as Christian. Wendy’s roommate was moving out and that would leave Wendy homeless, not to mention the fact she was also jobless. Christian stepped up to help. Christian was caring for his very ill sister, who also happened to be his secretary. Wendy said she would help care for his sister and go into to the office, as a help to him.
Christian did trust her. Who would think someone you trusted, that had helped care for his sick sister and offered help in the office while his sister was knocking on death’s door would do this? Wendy did this:
Wendy wrote checks to herself for thousands of dollars and FORGED Christian’s signature on them.
Wendy was put on the business account as an authorized user in order to pay bills and do the payroll.
Why would she then forge his signature if it was okay to write these checks and sign them in her own name? There is only one reason someone would do that, to hide wrong doing.
Wendy also filled out applications for and received several credit cards in Christian’s name, then went on line and made herself an authorized user. Christian never even saw the applications, much less the credit cards. Wendy doctored the books to make it look as though she was paying bills with checks that she was actually writing to herself. Wendy then hid the canceled checks when they came in the mail.
Christian and Wendy did have an intimate relationship for a time. Christian thought, this woman has come along and helped me in my time of need. Christian, never thought to check on what she was doing in the office.
Several month’s into their relationship, Wendy’s behavior became odd. Wendy began accussing him of seeing other women, checking his cell phone calls etc. At this point Christian decided, they had no future as a couple, but did not throw her out of the apartment or the office. Christian tried to maintain a civil relationship with her, until she found a new job and a new place to live, this went on for 10 months. Finally Christian was at his wits end, his sister Marti was heathier, so he asked Wendy to leave while he went on a trip to visit his brother, very bad idea!
While Christian left for France to visit his brother , Marti went into the office to check on things. Christian had asked Wendy to leave the apartment and the job while he was gone. Their relationship was over.
Christian trusted, at that point, that she would go and that nothing like this was going on. Marti began to go through the books. Wendy told Marti, to her face, that she had taken $20,000.00 to sustain herself. What Marti later discovered was that Wendy had, all total, taken 140, 000.00 over the course of the last 10 months with Christian. If it was okay with him, why would she lie on the books? That was the first time in his business he was actually making money. Christian was able to hire more help and really get his company off the ground after 20 years.Christian is not stupid, a little to trusting maybe.
After Wendy was gone, the calls began. Wendy had been keeping these calls secret.Wendy was there every waking minute in that office to make sure no one found out. Bills that had not been paid in MONTHS, that she had in the accounting package as having been paid.They found a statement from one of the credit cards she had gotten , under false pretenses, that a credit card check written for $8, 000.00 for a BMW she bought. Wendy told Christian, she had saved and saved to get that car. All along it was Christian that ended up paying for it.
Finally they found, some, not all of the canceled checks that were supposed to be for the bills,they had been deposited in Wendy’s account, that was then closed, as well as many of her friends. The rest of the check copies they ordered from the bank, they were horrified at what they saw.
Also for the record, Wendy was never made legal treasurer, Marti was and still is. Wendy gave herself that title. Wendy official title was office manager. Wendy was authorized to sign payroll and checks for bills, that was all.
Wendy then ran off to Key West with another man she had been seeing named Hans.
Wendy told everyone that Christian had been beating her, that Christian was a crack addict, and lured young women in with drugs then beat them horribly. Wendy also told everyone, that would listen, that Christian got her pregnant before he left for France and then, depending on the version you heard, that she either miscarried or had an abortion and nearly bled to death.All of this was a lie.
Wendy continued to call Christian, as if nothing had happened. The police told him to talk to her when she called to try and find out where she was. Wendy was using other peoples phones and basically fell off the face of the earth. Wendy did, however, write Christian a letter in October of 2003, stating, she was going to give back his money. Of course that was a lie. The money was gone.
Christian came VERY close to losing a business he had started, on his own in 1989. Marti and Christian’s brother Dan helped to bail him out. Christian’s insurance company gave him a small amount of $25,000.00 to get him somewhat back out of the hole from his small business owners policy that cover employee theft. One of the credit card companies wrote off a loss of $7, 000.00, which helped, to credit card fraud. They would like to find Wendy, also, to recover their losses. All total he lost $108,000.00, not to mention all of the bills that had not been paid in months.
Christian’s vendors were beginning to deny him deliveries because of past amounts owed.Without product he could not produce and make money. Christian had to lay off 3 of the six guys he had. Christian began working day and night just to keep his head above water, and he did it.
What Wendy did, did not just hurt Christian, it hurt 3 other families that had nothing to do with this whole mess.
Does all of this sound like a CRACK HEAD?
Yes he did do some drugs back then.
Christian was so unhappy, it was an escape.
He would stay away from the apartment because Wendy was constantly accusing him of running around with other girls. At the start of their relationship, he did not. Later on he did. Why not. He is being accused anyway. Not to mention the fact that Wendy was drunk, nearly every night.Wendy had also been going through all of his things. She packed away most of his belongings to make room for her own. Christian felt like an unwanted guest in his own apartment. Would you want to go home to that?
Christian, did however, feed, cloth and put a roof over Wendy’s head and braces on her teeth.
Now, Christian is doing very well. Due only to his own toil and trouble.That is until I guess June 2005, when a private investigator named Savannah started calling. All the letters and emails, it was ridiculous. Christian did not trust her and did not want to work with her after 2 interviews. What she did after that, I do not know.
Then in September of 2006, we got a call from a man named Perry, some strange last name I cannot remember at the moment, a private investigator working for a woman looking for her son.
Apparently Wendy was back and had married a young man, I will just call him V. Perry told us that V’s mother was very concerned for her son. V and Wendy had married in April of 2006 and stopped all communication with her. Apparently, according to Perry, V was always close to his mother, who lived in Vermont, I think. Anyway, he asked us for information on Wendy, and we gave him an overview of the situation.
We heard nothing for about 6 weeks, then at 11:30pm on a Sunday night our home phone rings, it is V.
Basically accusing Christian of causing his now problem with Wendy. “Why didn’t you catch her and throw her in jail? “It is your fault I am in the mess I’m in.” V believes that Wendy was not divorced from her former huband or husbands when they married. Now we have a possible bigamist ,as well.
Christian calmly explained, the woman nearly put him in bankruptcy. Christian had himself and his employees to worry about, he was unable to spend money, he did not have, to go after this woman.
V is sweet, from what I can tell.
He has called us several times now.
I do not know exactly what she did, but here was another man that Wendy had lied to.
I mean really, are all of these men bad?
According to Wendy, she has been abused, beaten and mistreated by all of them.
Maurcio, Ibrahim, Christian, Hans, and now V and who knows who else. The only bad thing I think they all have in common is Wendy.
It just seems to me, as a woman, who takes NO CRAP from a man, Christian could not have been that bad. I started seeing him in October of 2003 only 9 months after Wendy had left him broke, we moved in together in December of 2003. We bought a house together a year after that. His men at work love him. Christian works harder than any man I have ever known. How could he have been this crack head monster in January of 2003 and nothing but loving and kind in October of 2003.It just does not add up.
I think this woman is dangerous, she has made threats online, tried to incite violence against Christian, and continues to run free.
I have been to the police myself. I have contacted the FBI about the incitment of violence charges put online about him. I am looking for all avenues of justice.
Thank you for reading, all help appreciated.
Jolene
Jolene, That is the perfect example / story to describe just how dangerous these people can be!! Good luck to you both.
My comment about the blog, it is so true, my ex couldn’t go into a store without buying cd’s or dvd’s, always spending money!! Always talking about how he wants to buy a kayak, a “jeep for up north” funny coming from a guy who lives paycheck to paycheck, and doesn’t even have to pay rent, because he’s living in his grandparents old house. His carelessness with money always concerned me. I never realized it was another ‘sign’ of sociopathy!! Once again this website has helped me to understand who/ what I have been hurt by.