By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I don’t have much use for people who lie ”¦ but sometimes I have resorted to it myself, and today was one of those days.
You know, sometimes psychopaths are sort of like a sexually transmitted disease, they are the “love that keeps on giving in a negative way,” it seems, forever.
What brought me to telling a lie, because it was just more believable than the truth, was a convoluted story about the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” who infiltrated my family. This man is a three-time convicted child molester who had been a former cell mate and friend to my son, Patrick Alexander, who is in prison in Texas for murder. My son had sent him to infiltrate our family as a “friend,” and position himself to be able to kill me and take over our family resources. The Trojan Horse Psychopath had worked on my farm and helped out with my elderly family member, and thus gained access to my home and sneaked into my personal documents.
I’m a meticulous record keeper, and very organized with my record keeping, and pretty well know how to lay hands on any document I need instantly. I have a fire safe in my office that is never locked, because it is small enough to steal and carry off. I have a sign on the front of it that reads, “There is nothing of any value in this safe, the combination is X-Y-Z, it contains only business documents I want to protect from fire.”
Vehicle titles
The titles to my several vehicles and trailers that are used around the farm are, and have been for years, kept in the slot on the inside of the door to the safe. Since I haven’t bought or sold any vehicles or trailers (except for the recreational vehicle I bought to live in when I fled my home in the summer of 2007), I had not had any cause to go through any of these titles, or even count them, until yesterday. I decided to sell a Conestoga wagon, and the flat-bed trailer that I used to transport it, so I went to the safe to get out the title to the trailer and it was gone! Going through the titles there, I realized that four of the titles to various vehicles and trailers were missing!
The Trojan Horse Psychopath had been arrested in August 2007, when he and my son’s wife tried to kill my oldest biological son, after my son discovered they were having an affair, so he hadn’t had access to my documents since several months before his arrest. But prior to then, he had stolen documents and “messed with” my credit card accounts, my cell phone account, and other items that kept me spinning in my insanity. He would order items off “late night television” and have them sent to my house, like those “Send me $49 and I will make you a real estate millionaire,” and those “clubs” for music and videos that are like the Mafia, once in you can never get out! He even signed me up for interest in Scientology, and I still get tons of mail filling up my post office box from that group. He took over my cell phone account and deleted my contact numbers and added and deleted services and turned it on and off.
Nice ladies
So today when I had to go to the department of motor vehicles to request the replacement of four vehicle and trailer titles, there was no way I was going to tell this tale of woe to the nice ladies behind the desk. There was no way they would have believed me if I had told them the truth of why I needed that many titles replaced, so I took the easy way out and I lied. (So shoot me!)
I told them that my grandkids had been playing “office” and had gotten into my important papers and destroyed them. The nice ladies believed my lie and I paid my fees and the titles should come in the mail in just a few days.
I sort of feel guilty about telling the nice ladies the lie, but there was no way they were going to believe that a pedophile ex-convict from Texas got into my documents and randomly destroyed and stole some of them just to mess with my mind. Maybe I should have used this as a “teaching opportunity” to educate these women about psychopaths (I was the only customer in the office with three nice ladies), but I had to be quick in order to get to the court hearing of the ex-minister of our little country church who had been arrested for child pornography and Internet stalking of a child. I didn’t want to explain to them why I was in such a hurry either.
Here’s the news story on HarrisonDaily.com:
Man, 58, arrested after Internet sting: Agri inspector
Predator in court
I didn’t want to miss his court date, and as it turned out, I was the only one from my community there. He was, I believe, very shocked to see me walk into the courtroom in the small country town about a hour and a half drive north of where I live. I was dressed very nicely in my “pillar of the community matron goes to court or funerals” ensemble. Court had not yet convened and people were quietly talking among themselves in the spectator section of the room.
As I walked by where he was seated, waiting for his turn in front of the judge, I slapped him cheerfully on the back and said, “Hi, Dicky, what are you doing here?” I didn’t wait for a response, but kept on purposefully walking and sat down a couple of rows directly behind him, where he couldn’t see me unless he turned around in his seat, which he didn’t do, but sat facing forward, looking neither to the right or the left. None of his family was there, and though most of the defendants in the courtroom seemed to have friends or family with them, no matter what the charges were. He was alone. I don’t doubt that he felt my eyes boring into the back of his neck.
I never did particularly like this man, even when he was preaching at our little community church. His messages always seemed to me to be shouted and angry, rather than uplifting and loving. He presented an angry God, not a loving father. In fact, several months after my husband’s accidental and very sudden death, I was very sensitive to shouts or loud talking, and I actually went to this man privately and asked him very nicely (I thought) to “tone it down,” and to shout less, and maybe the attendance at our little church might stop dropping. My request was not received well, needless to say.
He did, however, embrace the Trojan Horse Psychopath and my (now ex) daughter-in-law, both before and after their arrests for trying to kill my oldest son. My requests (before their arrests and afterwards) went unheeded, and I was basically told not to bother him, he was “too busy” to get involved in my problems.
Sixth sense
It really isn’t all that noble of me to glory in the downfall of those that I don’t like, but at the same time, it is validation of my “sixth sense” about people. Almost every time I have ignored my dislike of someone there has been something, somewhere down the line, that has validated my “spidey sense” about that person. Several times that “something” has been child molestation or murder, or all of the above, though at the time I felt the intuitive dislike for that person, I never dreamed that they would molest children or be responsible for someone’s death. I just thought, “I don’t like that person,” or, “there’s something about them I don’t trust.”
It is important, I think, that we listen to our intuition about predators, and believe me, psychopaths are predators on two legs. They camouflage themselves and try to blend into the landscape just like a lion does, but there is something within us that, if we listen to it, will many times protect us. If we “turn it off” or “tune it out,” however, it can’t protect us from the predators. Just like the antelope must be alert for the lion, we must be alert for the psychopaths that prowl the savannas of our lives. When we get a whiff of “there’s a predator about,” we must honor that intuition in order to survive. Even if no one else would believe it!
hi hopeforjoy!
Dear Janie,
It sounds to me like that was EXACTLY what this guy was, the entire 3- stooges of killers, too dumb to pour “liquid out of a boot, with the instructions written on the heel” BUT he was cunning.
I think your sister is FORTUNATE she is still alive…concrete blocks in the rafters????DUH???
I agree, get her to check out Lovefraud, and keep supporting her. At least she has YOU to understand what she’s been through. She isn’t alone. Give her big hugs from us here at LF.
Jeanie,
you said:
“Tell a lie in order to be believed, cause the truth is so crazy. These sociopaths do such outrageous stuff that no one believes you when you tell on them. I gotta wonder if that is the intent..? ”
That is exactly the intent. In fact, in the beginning, even YOU don’t believe what you are witnessing. so why would anyone believe you if you tell them?
That is where their audacity comes in. They do know that their behavior is beyond belief. They know that it causes cognitive dissonance, and that’s what makes it fun for them. They like playing with your head.
It’s quite common for spaths to make things disappear. They will hide the remote control just to make you go crazy looking for it. But you would never suspect it was them and instead YOU take RESPONSIBILITY for the lost remote. They love to see us take responsibility for THEIR actions. This gives them much satisfaction. Its a form of scapegoating. Who does that? spaths.
Sky, your example of them hiding the remote control and you search and search and think you have misplaced it is exactly what the Trojan Horse was trying to do with my vehicle titles…make me think I had misplaced them. He also got control of my cell phone account and went on line and “managed” my address book and such, deleting names and phone numbers sort of at random. Just a few now and then….I didn’t miss those I didn’t regularly call until I went to call them and didn’t have their numbers.
He also signed me up for Scientology and I still get tons of mail from them, and ordered products off late night TV with my credit card number and had them shipped to my house! I was going crazy trying to get rid of those charges and send that stuff back. All this was going on at the time that I was living at the lake in my RV hiding out and I was crazy and this made me even more crazy and wondering if I was doing things I didn’t know I was doing. I am just very fortunate that I did get away when I did and hid out and the Trojan horse and my DIL decided to steal from the egg donor since they couldn’t find me.
I saw a TV show years ago by Alfred Hitchcock about a man gaslighting his wife and trying to convince her she was crazy. He would cut tiny slices off the chair legs so they were “shorter” but very little thin slices so she wasn’t really “sure” if they were shorter or not and of course he told her she was crazy. I don’t even remember how the show ended, but those subtle little things that they do to convince us WE are crazy can actually warp our perceptions of reality beyond belief.
Husband always used to switch the toothpaste with a new tube that was slightly different. He would even squeeze the toothpaste out to make it seem like it was the old one. And when I confronted him about it, he would deny it of course. Well, I finally caught him in the act on day. He just laughed and said “haha, you caught me.” I asked him why he would do that and he just shrugged. He hasn’t tried to pull that trick in awhile. But he does sign me up for spam mail all the time. And if I get a new email address and don’t tell him about it, he accuses me of being sneaky. -_-
Ex Umbris,
And you are still living with this man WHY?
Yes. Idk. 🙁 When I was in highschool I fell into an abusive relationship. After we graduated, we moved to another state (He said he had a family member there who was going to give him a job, but all he ever did was deal drugs). That’s when it started to get really bad. I couldn’t take it anymore after awhile, so I ran from him, headed for a women’s shelter. I made it to a bar and stopped inside because I couldn’t decide. I was only 19, and I remember hoping a policeman would arrest me so I wouldn’t have to make the choice. But instead this handsome charming man comes over and asks me what’s wrong. I don’t know why, but I told him. And later that night I told him EVERYTHING. Now that I look back on it, I was so stupid to trust him, even when I didn’t know he was a psycho. But Ive seen the way other people act around husband, and they tell him everything to. Which makes me wonder if it was him all along. But he was so understanding and kind. He offered to take me to the hospital (I had some bruises on my arms and neck) or to the women’s shelter. When I refused, he said he’d walk me back to my ex’s apartment because he didn’t want me walking around alone at night. Well we walked around for at least an hour, just talking. I noticed he wasn’t walking well on one leg, and I realized I hadn’t even told him where my ex lived, I just let him lead me around. I felt bad and tried to tell him, but I just couldn’t. I don’t know. I guess I was just scared. But then he offered to take me back to his place and I could just sleep on the couch until mourning. We agreed (well, he agreed) that it would give a little time for my ex to cool down. I didn’t exactly say yes, but I didn’t say no either. I never left. We started having a relationship a few days later. I really did love him then. But I also felt sort of obligated to him. Plus I still love his kids and our baby (he had two from his previous marriage). And our kids love him. I don’t want to break up our family. And when I consider how things could’ve been without him, it would’ve been so much worse. Yeah, he’s a psychopath. But he’s never hit me. He even tolerates my mother (sort of), even though they hate each other.
The scary part is he TOLD me what he was when our relationship started getting intimate. But he seemed so kind, I figured it must’ve been a mistake by the doctors. And I thought he must have a heart or he wouldn’t tell me that. But I realize now that he just did it so he wouldn’t have to ‘act’ in front of me all the time, and he knew I had nowhere else to go. Whenver I call him out on his behaviors now, he says “I told you what you were getting into when you signed on.” Ugh. -_-
Sorry for the length. I got carried away. x_x
“I once told him that I think he was put on this earth to piss people off (it was probably wrong of me to say this, but sometimes I need to mouth off at him).”
That’s what I think about spaths too XD
Dear Ex Umbris,
Well, it is your choice to stay with him, but there is always a price to pay for our choices.
I have chosen to live a life free of psychopaths…or even toxic people in general. I did choose to be in denial for a long time, most of my life in fact, and put up with a lot of BS from several Psychopaths, but I am so glad that I chose the P-free life. I don’t like living in a war zone. I wish you well. God bless.
Ex Umbris,
I was with a spath for 25 years. I can tell you that your life will wither away if he doesn’t actually kill you.
When you are of no more use to him because your beauty has faded, or your money is gone, or he has found a better and newer model, he will not only discard you but he will do it in such a way as you never imagined anyone could treat anyone else.
My spath, in order to control me and syphon my money away, began to poison me with small amounts of strychnine – for 20 years plus. Luckily, I’m very sensitive to chemicals and foods, so I was miserable with a dosage that was very tiny and therefore he didn’t end up killing me with it.
But he had other plans for killing me. He was telling everyone that I was suicidal and a drunk and a drug addict. Meanwhile he tried to drive me to those behaviors. But since I’m not the suiciding type, he had plan B. He stole my Lunesta, a little at a time, so I just thought I had miscounted. His intent was to spike my drink so that it would appear that I had killed myself, EXACTLY AS HE PREDICTED.
ExU,
you are alive now because you are useful. When you no longer are, his disdain for you will be enough reason to destroy you. In his mind you deserve it for not having the self-esteem to leave him.