By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I don’t have much use for people who lie ”¦ but sometimes I have resorted to it myself, and today was one of those days.
You know, sometimes psychopaths are sort of like a sexually transmitted disease, they are the “love that keeps on giving in a negative way,” it seems, forever.
What brought me to telling a lie, because it was just more believable than the truth, was a convoluted story about the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” who infiltrated my family. This man is a three-time convicted child molester who had been a former cell mate and friend to my son, Patrick Alexander, who is in prison in Texas for murder. My son had sent him to infiltrate our family as a “friend,” and position himself to be able to kill me and take over our family resources. The Trojan Horse Psychopath had worked on my farm and helped out with my elderly family member, and thus gained access to my home and sneaked into my personal documents.
I’m a meticulous record keeper, and very organized with my record keeping, and pretty well know how to lay hands on any document I need instantly. I have a fire safe in my office that is never locked, because it is small enough to steal and carry off. I have a sign on the front of it that reads, “There is nothing of any value in this safe, the combination is X-Y-Z, it contains only business documents I want to protect from fire.”
Vehicle titles
The titles to my several vehicles and trailers that are used around the farm are, and have been for years, kept in the slot on the inside of the door to the safe. Since I haven’t bought or sold any vehicles or trailers (except for the recreational vehicle I bought to live in when I fled my home in the summer of 2007), I had not had any cause to go through any of these titles, or even count them, until yesterday. I decided to sell a Conestoga wagon, and the flat-bed trailer that I used to transport it, so I went to the safe to get out the title to the trailer and it was gone! Going through the titles there, I realized that four of the titles to various vehicles and trailers were missing!
The Trojan Horse Psychopath had been arrested in August 2007, when he and my son’s wife tried to kill my oldest biological son, after my son discovered they were having an affair, so he hadn’t had access to my documents since several months before his arrest. But prior to then, he had stolen documents and “messed with” my credit card accounts, my cell phone account, and other items that kept me spinning in my insanity. He would order items off “late night television” and have them sent to my house, like those “Send me $49 and I will make you a real estate millionaire,” and those “clubs” for music and videos that are like the Mafia, once in you can never get out! He even signed me up for interest in Scientology, and I still get tons of mail filling up my post office box from that group. He took over my cell phone account and deleted my contact numbers and added and deleted services and turned it on and off.
Nice ladies
So today when I had to go to the department of motor vehicles to request the replacement of four vehicle and trailer titles, there was no way I was going to tell this tale of woe to the nice ladies behind the desk. There was no way they would have believed me if I had told them the truth of why I needed that many titles replaced, so I took the easy way out and I lied. (So shoot me!)
I told them that my grandkids had been playing “office” and had gotten into my important papers and destroyed them. The nice ladies believed my lie and I paid my fees and the titles should come in the mail in just a few days.
I sort of feel guilty about telling the nice ladies the lie, but there was no way they were going to believe that a pedophile ex-convict from Texas got into my documents and randomly destroyed and stole some of them just to mess with my mind. Maybe I should have used this as a “teaching opportunity” to educate these women about psychopaths (I was the only customer in the office with three nice ladies), but I had to be quick in order to get to the court hearing of the ex-minister of our little country church who had been arrested for child pornography and Internet stalking of a child. I didn’t want to explain to them why I was in such a hurry either.
Here’s the news story on HarrisonDaily.com:
Man, 58, arrested after Internet sting: Agri inspector
Predator in court
I didn’t want to miss his court date, and as it turned out, I was the only one from my community there. He was, I believe, very shocked to see me walk into the courtroom in the small country town about a hour and a half drive north of where I live. I was dressed very nicely in my “pillar of the community matron goes to court or funerals” ensemble. Court had not yet convened and people were quietly talking among themselves in the spectator section of the room.
As I walked by where he was seated, waiting for his turn in front of the judge, I slapped him cheerfully on the back and said, “Hi, Dicky, what are you doing here?” I didn’t wait for a response, but kept on purposefully walking and sat down a couple of rows directly behind him, where he couldn’t see me unless he turned around in his seat, which he didn’t do, but sat facing forward, looking neither to the right or the left. None of his family was there, and though most of the defendants in the courtroom seemed to have friends or family with them, no matter what the charges were. He was alone. I don’t doubt that he felt my eyes boring into the back of his neck.
I never did particularly like this man, even when he was preaching at our little community church. His messages always seemed to me to be shouted and angry, rather than uplifting and loving. He presented an angry God, not a loving father. In fact, several months after my husband’s accidental and very sudden death, I was very sensitive to shouts or loud talking, and I actually went to this man privately and asked him very nicely (I thought) to “tone it down,” and to shout less, and maybe the attendance at our little church might stop dropping. My request was not received well, needless to say.
He did, however, embrace the Trojan Horse Psychopath and my (now ex) daughter-in-law, both before and after their arrests for trying to kill my oldest son. My requests (before their arrests and afterwards) went unheeded, and I was basically told not to bother him, he was “too busy” to get involved in my problems.
Sixth sense
It really isn’t all that noble of me to glory in the downfall of those that I don’t like, but at the same time, it is validation of my “sixth sense” about people. Almost every time I have ignored my dislike of someone there has been something, somewhere down the line, that has validated my “spidey sense” about that person. Several times that “something” has been child molestation or murder, or all of the above, though at the time I felt the intuitive dislike for that person, I never dreamed that they would molest children or be responsible for someone’s death. I just thought, “I don’t like that person,” or, “there’s something about them I don’t trust.”
It is important, I think, that we listen to our intuition about predators, and believe me, psychopaths are predators on two legs. They camouflage themselves and try to blend into the landscape just like a lion does, but there is something within us that, if we listen to it, will many times protect us. If we “turn it off” or “tune it out,” however, it can’t protect us from the predators. Just like the antelope must be alert for the lion, we must be alert for the psychopaths that prowl the savannas of our lives. When we get a whiff of “there’s a predator about,” we must honor that intuition in order to survive. Even if no one else would believe it!
MiLo,
Yep, that is a good way to put it, LF is ALIVE….responsive.
I’m like you, I can’t even imagine just how much work Donna and Terry must put into LF. I know diddly about computers and blogs and so on so it is out of my league and above my pay grade for sure!
Oxy,
You never know what kind of reaction you’ll get when you tell the truth…though I do understand that time constraints had to change your priorities.
The other day, I met a man and woman and told them about the spath. Before I even mentioned that he was poisoning me for years, the man said, “I have a friend whose wife was putting rat poison in his coffee for years.”
They’re everywhere!
🙂
I think it’s just fine to be happy to see the scales of justice catch up to those who are deserving of it.
That’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s one thing to be happy about an innocent person’s downfall ( Like a psychopath might appraise the situation ) … but when the unjust are put in their place- God help us, it’s a wonderful thing to see. As if for a moment, just a moment, the universe seems to be in working order. I have no qualms with that. That is how it should be. You are happy about JUSTICE. That is all.
Thank you dancingnancies, I AM happy when justice is done…but all to seldom I am afraid.
Sky, I was in a hurry, and as it was I barely made it to court before the judge came in, but there are just times it isn’t worth the energy to try to tell the convoluted tale in such a manner that most “normal” people could get it. LOL I’m getting very selective about who I talk to and when and where…not that I’m trying to hide anything but most people just truly don’t (1) believe it or (2) care so I try to do my talking in areas where people MIGHT BELIEVE IT and possibly will care. It isn’t worth wasting my time, energy or breath on those that neither care nor believe.
Oxy,
A “white lie” that is not meant for the purpose of hurting anyone but simply not having to go into the true details that would be un-belivable to any one is okay! Sometimes it’s the only way!!!!!
Kudos to you for getting what you needed with out going into horrible truths that would only make you look like a loonie!!!
Most of all you have the courage and wisdom to know….don’t beat yourself up for this, it is totally understandable.
I know for myself that if I told the truth about the X-S in my life to most I would look like I was the crazy one!
Glad you are getting the tittles that you need.
(((hugs))) Aeylah
I don’t tell my personal details too often. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but my own. I would’ve just walked in and said, “Hi, I lost these titles and I need to replace them please.”…paid the fees and called it a day. It’s not a “lie”. I dealt with a lot of spath related bs, at my daughters schools and so forth. I just say what I need and skip the personal details (when possible). Your story is perfectly believable to me, oxy. If it wasn’t just about un-freaken-believable, I probably wouldn’t believe you had a spath in your life! 🙂
Dear Oxy (aka Joyce),
Frankly, your story does sound fictional, although I know it’s not, but those ladies at the DMV would probably look at you like you were from Mars and hope that what you had wasn’t catchy.
Sometimes it’s nesessary to lie though I feel badly when I do it. You have to adapt when the situation calls for it.
For example, I wrote another letter to son’s therapist and the next step will be reporting him to the licensing board. I told the therapist my story and I’m sure I sounded like a nut job and I do get worked up when I tell it. He obviously doesn’t believe me. Maybe I should have toned it down a little.
But last night I went to a COSA meeting and met someone who had a similar story to mine. I’m pretty sure her first husband was a sociopath too. We belived each other and cried and hugged. It felt cathartic because we had a lot of trauma in common and there wasn’t a question of doubting our stories.
It would really take someone who has been through some WTF kind of stuff to really know that you aren’t nutty.
Some people don’t get it, most of them don’t actually. If it took me forever to understand when I was in the thick of it, how would someone else begin to understand.
It’s like when I told my mom about my daughter not wanting to be around spath because he was being sexual around her and my mom couldn’t understand. She said her dad would never do that and I could tell she was really trying to wrap her head around it, but couldn’t. We use our life experiences to make judgements, fortunately not everyone has had trauma or had the pleasure of a spath in their life so educating them is so much more of a challenge.
HI Hope….
REMAIN calm……or you know you’ll look like the ‘crazy’ ex…..especially with our life experiences we are trying to relay.
Speak few words….but make them potent.
Practice on strangers.
Do you remember me telling ya’ll about not mentioning sociopaths right off the bat when trying to enlighten someone……I found using the word Cluster B personality disorder seemed to peak interest. People like to learn on their own….and be their own guider of information…….once you peak someones interest you can go from there……you know they are willing to listen, because it was THEIR idea to want to learn more……it’s then that you can pounce the S work on them. Their ears will be open.
I hope your doing okay……it’s a long road darlen…..BUT, it has many twists and turns……YOU DRIVE THE BOAT……and MAKE all your own decisions!
IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!
XXOO
EB
Safeguard”
I’m with you…..there was a time I wanted to yell my story from the rooftops to anyone………NOW….I no longer want this to be my identity. I listen to others stories and leave mine out……if something comes up when I feel I have to touch on it…..I just touch on it……
It evolves over time….and it blows my mind how much time heals.
3 years ago….I’d never put myself in ‘this’ place I am today!
Thanks EB! Your an inspiration!