By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I don’t have much use for people who lie ”¦ but sometimes I have resorted to it myself, and today was one of those days.
You know, sometimes psychopaths are sort of like a sexually transmitted disease, they are the “love that keeps on giving in a negative way,” it seems, forever.
What brought me to telling a lie, because it was just more believable than the truth, was a convoluted story about the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” who infiltrated my family. This man is a three-time convicted child molester who had been a former cell mate and friend to my son, Patrick Alexander, who is in prison in Texas for murder. My son had sent him to infiltrate our family as a “friend,” and position himself to be able to kill me and take over our family resources. The Trojan Horse Psychopath had worked on my farm and helped out with my elderly family member, and thus gained access to my home and sneaked into my personal documents.
I’m a meticulous record keeper, and very organized with my record keeping, and pretty well know how to lay hands on any document I need instantly. I have a fire safe in my office that is never locked, because it is small enough to steal and carry off. I have a sign on the front of it that reads, “There is nothing of any value in this safe, the combination is X-Y-Z, it contains only business documents I want to protect from fire.”
Vehicle titles
The titles to my several vehicles and trailers that are used around the farm are, and have been for years, kept in the slot on the inside of the door to the safe. Since I haven’t bought or sold any vehicles or trailers (except for the recreational vehicle I bought to live in when I fled my home in the summer of 2007), I had not had any cause to go through any of these titles, or even count them, until yesterday. I decided to sell a Conestoga wagon, and the flat-bed trailer that I used to transport it, so I went to the safe to get out the title to the trailer and it was gone! Going through the titles there, I realized that four of the titles to various vehicles and trailers were missing!
The Trojan Horse Psychopath had been arrested in August 2007, when he and my son’s wife tried to kill my oldest biological son, after my son discovered they were having an affair, so he hadn’t had access to my documents since several months before his arrest. But prior to then, he had stolen documents and “messed with” my credit card accounts, my cell phone account, and other items that kept me spinning in my insanity. He would order items off “late night television” and have them sent to my house, like those “Send me $49 and I will make you a real estate millionaire,” and those “clubs” for music and videos that are like the Mafia, once in you can never get out! He even signed me up for interest in Scientology, and I still get tons of mail filling up my post office box from that group. He took over my cell phone account and deleted my contact numbers and added and deleted services and turned it on and off.
Nice ladies
So today when I had to go to the department of motor vehicles to request the replacement of four vehicle and trailer titles, there was no way I was going to tell this tale of woe to the nice ladies behind the desk. There was no way they would have believed me if I had told them the truth of why I needed that many titles replaced, so I took the easy way out and I lied. (So shoot me!)
I told them that my grandkids had been playing “office” and had gotten into my important papers and destroyed them. The nice ladies believed my lie and I paid my fees and the titles should come in the mail in just a few days.
I sort of feel guilty about telling the nice ladies the lie, but there was no way they were going to believe that a pedophile ex-convict from Texas got into my documents and randomly destroyed and stole some of them just to mess with my mind. Maybe I should have used this as a “teaching opportunity” to educate these women about psychopaths (I was the only customer in the office with three nice ladies), but I had to be quick in order to get to the court hearing of the ex-minister of our little country church who had been arrested for child pornography and Internet stalking of a child. I didn’t want to explain to them why I was in such a hurry either.
Here’s the news story on HarrisonDaily.com:
Man, 58, arrested after Internet sting: Agri inspector
Predator in court
I didn’t want to miss his court date, and as it turned out, I was the only one from my community there. He was, I believe, very shocked to see me walk into the courtroom in the small country town about a hour and a half drive north of where I live. I was dressed very nicely in my “pillar of the community matron goes to court or funerals” ensemble. Court had not yet convened and people were quietly talking among themselves in the spectator section of the room.
As I walked by where he was seated, waiting for his turn in front of the judge, I slapped him cheerfully on the back and said, “Hi, Dicky, what are you doing here?” I didn’t wait for a response, but kept on purposefully walking and sat down a couple of rows directly behind him, where he couldn’t see me unless he turned around in his seat, which he didn’t do, but sat facing forward, looking neither to the right or the left. None of his family was there, and though most of the defendants in the courtroom seemed to have friends or family with them, no matter what the charges were. He was alone. I don’t doubt that he felt my eyes boring into the back of his neck.
I never did particularly like this man, even when he was preaching at our little community church. His messages always seemed to me to be shouted and angry, rather than uplifting and loving. He presented an angry God, not a loving father. In fact, several months after my husband’s accidental and very sudden death, I was very sensitive to shouts or loud talking, and I actually went to this man privately and asked him very nicely (I thought) to “tone it down,” and to shout less, and maybe the attendance at our little church might stop dropping. My request was not received well, needless to say.
He did, however, embrace the Trojan Horse Psychopath and my (now ex) daughter-in-law, both before and after their arrests for trying to kill my oldest son. My requests (before their arrests and afterwards) went unheeded, and I was basically told not to bother him, he was “too busy” to get involved in my problems.
Sixth sense
It really isn’t all that noble of me to glory in the downfall of those that I don’t like, but at the same time, it is validation of my “sixth sense” about people. Almost every time I have ignored my dislike of someone there has been something, somewhere down the line, that has validated my “spidey sense” about that person. Several times that “something” has been child molestation or murder, or all of the above, though at the time I felt the intuitive dislike for that person, I never dreamed that they would molest children or be responsible for someone’s death. I just thought, “I don’t like that person,” or, “there’s something about them I don’t trust.”
It is important, I think, that we listen to our intuition about predators, and believe me, psychopaths are predators on two legs. They camouflage themselves and try to blend into the landscape just like a lion does, but there is something within us that, if we listen to it, will many times protect us. If we “turn it off” or “tune it out,” however, it can’t protect us from the predators. Just like the antelope must be alert for the lion, we must be alert for the psychopaths that prowl the savannas of our lives. When we get a whiff of “there’s a predator about,” we must honor that intuition in order to survive. Even if no one else would believe it!
Hey Superlicious – Why you in a funky mood, whats going on? Sound’s like you dont like your job, that sucks but we have to make them dollars and make the most of every day – we just got’s to….~!
People ~
Don’t ever try to catch up with the discussions by quickly skimming through.
So far this morning I have learned someone’s boob is on fire, Oxy called 911 to report it before Texas completely burns up and/or someone fries their brain by applying traumeel cream AND Hens posts several , oh my’s – which I have learned is never a good thing.
I need more coffee.
Milo- your post just made my day. Lol!!
Btw- I wanted to say thank you. I followed your advice regarding jr. and the case worker. It did the trick. I haven’t been bothered again, lol however visitations resume next week. One thing at a time.
Coping ~ a little secret, I use humor to ease my stress, instead of screaming, I try to laugh. Yesterday I was screaming and crying and screaming. Oh well.
I am glad my advice worked, just watch your back, she is not done with you. Most of my advice comes from my own trial and error.
I had a long discussion yesterday with my attorney about the GAL problems and I learned some things that I “thought” was happening during our case, but wasn’t confirmed until this conversation. I just thank God that we settled when we did, secured custody and just have to deal with visitation. At the last pretrial hearing, the GAL recommended to the magistrate that Grand be removed from our home and placed in a foster home so he could be encouraged to have a relationship with his Mom. Grand was almost 10 years old and we are the only security he has ever known. Grand was diagnosed at age 3 with RAD, at age 5 ADHD, at age 8 high functioning autism. We have had him in various therapies since age 3. Although not diagnosed, his psychologist feels he suffers from PTSD from trauma suffered at the hands of his Mom. IF this would have happened, I have no doubt Grand would have severely harmed himself or someone else and that we would have “emotionally lost him forever”.
As anyone who has gone through custody and or any type of visitation disputes know the first thing you are told to do is document, document, document. I did this, I kept a daily journal and documented everything from the time Grand was 2 years old. These documents showed that during the time Mommy Dearest had visitation, during the first year, she made all of 36 hours out of a possible 600 hours. It showed that she came to our home for visits high and was caught searching our medicine cabinet for pain pills, screaming and throwing things. It showed she pushed her son and called him a “retard”. The second year showed NOTHING – no visits, no calls, NOTHING. The third year includes a tape recording of a phone call where she is standing on a bridge threatening to jump. On and on and on.
I turned these journals over to the GAL. I was told yesterday that she thought I was a vindictive, spiteful person for writing down every little thing my daughter did, and she believed none of it.
Worst of all, my attorney (very well respected, kind man) was almost defending the GAL. At least that is the way I felt. Ofcourse he said she was wrong, but he could see how she formed her opinion.
All along I planned on filing a grievance against her when all of this was over. He said, Milo do what you feel you have to do, but understand that no one is going to take the time to read it, that’s just the way it is. I said, you mean no one will care. He said, sadly no one will care.
I am going to take his advice, I know that there are very good GAL’s because one literally saved Grand’s life 5 years ago in court. I know this GAL is on an ego trip and had made up her mind about me right after talking to my daughter. I know I don’t need this kind of stress in my life anymore. I am working on “letting it go”. After all these years of being involved in the justice system, I know he is right, sadly no one cares.
Coping – keep documenting EVERYTHING, even if it is never looked at it is important.
Ex Umbris
I think your spath is a bit like mine in that my spath was VERY POLITE, WELL MANNERED and POLISHED.
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SKYLAR
Regarding your post that you wouldn’t have left your spath if he told you he was a spath because of your own curiosity, YES SISTER!
I am the same way. I spent so much time trying to figure out WTF, it really aroused my curiosity – even the lies he told puzzled me, and I spent a huge amount of time and energy investigating the lies – when I should have just said “HOLY SHIT RED FLAG RUN FOR THE HILLS”.
Superkid….me too. He would even leave “bread trails” because he LIKED to watch me try to catch him. It was like a mouse in a maze sort of thing. I tried to rationalize his behavior based on what it would mean if I were doing those things, telling those lies. Big mistake. Right before I went NC, I told him that I was sick and damn tired of being a One-Woman FBI! I guess the “curiosity” eventually turns into ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT!
Thanks, superkid. 🙂 I’m going to talk to a lawyer soon. I want to know my options first. I’m just hoping husband doesn’t find out first.
Dear MiLo,
🙁 I am so sorry you have had such a horrible time, and the GAL needs to be taken down a peg or two, but I also realize that there is justice and there is reality and they are not necessarily the same. 🙁 Please know that I am giving you a great BIG CYBER HUG ((((Milo)))) right now, and that my heart is with you on this one. It makes me want to SCREAM!
When ego-maniacial nut jobs get into positions of “authority” whether they are social workers, GALS, judges, cops, attorneys, etc. they use that power to make themselves feel like “big shiats” and the people under their thumbs are the ones who suffer. Take your Grand out of your house and put him in foster care so he could form a RELATIONSHIT with his mother? WTF??? How TWISTED is that?
I still would not sign a paper saying I was satisfied with her performance.
Maybe no one will listen to your complaints and maybe your lawyer is right, and life ain’t fair, and there is no Easter Bunny, but damn it is still frustrating! ((((Hugs)))) and God bless you MiLo for all you have endured.