By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I don’t have much use for people who lie ”¦ but sometimes I have resorted to it myself, and today was one of those days.
You know, sometimes psychopaths are sort of like a sexually transmitted disease, they are the “love that keeps on giving in a negative way,” it seems, forever.
What brought me to telling a lie, because it was just more believable than the truth, was a convoluted story about the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” who infiltrated my family. This man is a three-time convicted child molester who had been a former cell mate and friend to my son, Patrick Alexander, who is in prison in Texas for murder. My son had sent him to infiltrate our family as a “friend,” and position himself to be able to kill me and take over our family resources. The Trojan Horse Psychopath had worked on my farm and helped out with my elderly family member, and thus gained access to my home and sneaked into my personal documents.
I’m a meticulous record keeper, and very organized with my record keeping, and pretty well know how to lay hands on any document I need instantly. I have a fire safe in my office that is never locked, because it is small enough to steal and carry off. I have a sign on the front of it that reads, “There is nothing of any value in this safe, the combination is X-Y-Z, it contains only business documents I want to protect from fire.”
Vehicle titles
The titles to my several vehicles and trailers that are used around the farm are, and have been for years, kept in the slot on the inside of the door to the safe. Since I haven’t bought or sold any vehicles or trailers (except for the recreational vehicle I bought to live in when I fled my home in the summer of 2007), I had not had any cause to go through any of these titles, or even count them, until yesterday. I decided to sell a Conestoga wagon, and the flat-bed trailer that I used to transport it, so I went to the safe to get out the title to the trailer and it was gone! Going through the titles there, I realized that four of the titles to various vehicles and trailers were missing!
The Trojan Horse Psychopath had been arrested in August 2007, when he and my son’s wife tried to kill my oldest biological son, after my son discovered they were having an affair, so he hadn’t had access to my documents since several months before his arrest. But prior to then, he had stolen documents and “messed with” my credit card accounts, my cell phone account, and other items that kept me spinning in my insanity. He would order items off “late night television” and have them sent to my house, like those “Send me $49 and I will make you a real estate millionaire,” and those “clubs” for music and videos that are like the Mafia, once in you can never get out! He even signed me up for interest in Scientology, and I still get tons of mail filling up my post office box from that group. He took over my cell phone account and deleted my contact numbers and added and deleted services and turned it on and off.
Nice ladies
So today when I had to go to the department of motor vehicles to request the replacement of four vehicle and trailer titles, there was no way I was going to tell this tale of woe to the nice ladies behind the desk. There was no way they would have believed me if I had told them the truth of why I needed that many titles replaced, so I took the easy way out and I lied. (So shoot me!)
I told them that my grandkids had been playing “office” and had gotten into my important papers and destroyed them. The nice ladies believed my lie and I paid my fees and the titles should come in the mail in just a few days.
I sort of feel guilty about telling the nice ladies the lie, but there was no way they were going to believe that a pedophile ex-convict from Texas got into my documents and randomly destroyed and stole some of them just to mess with my mind. Maybe I should have used this as a “teaching opportunity” to educate these women about psychopaths (I was the only customer in the office with three nice ladies), but I had to be quick in order to get to the court hearing of the ex-minister of our little country church who had been arrested for child pornography and Internet stalking of a child. I didn’t want to explain to them why I was in such a hurry either.
Here’s the news story on HarrisonDaily.com:
Man, 58, arrested after Internet sting: Agri inspector
Predator in court
I didn’t want to miss his court date, and as it turned out, I was the only one from my community there. He was, I believe, very shocked to see me walk into the courtroom in the small country town about a hour and a half drive north of where I live. I was dressed very nicely in my “pillar of the community matron goes to court or funerals” ensemble. Court had not yet convened and people were quietly talking among themselves in the spectator section of the room.
As I walked by where he was seated, waiting for his turn in front of the judge, I slapped him cheerfully on the back and said, “Hi, Dicky, what are you doing here?” I didn’t wait for a response, but kept on purposefully walking and sat down a couple of rows directly behind him, where he couldn’t see me unless he turned around in his seat, which he didn’t do, but sat facing forward, looking neither to the right or the left. None of his family was there, and though most of the defendants in the courtroom seemed to have friends or family with them, no matter what the charges were. He was alone. I don’t doubt that he felt my eyes boring into the back of his neck.
I never did particularly like this man, even when he was preaching at our little community church. His messages always seemed to me to be shouted and angry, rather than uplifting and loving. He presented an angry God, not a loving father. In fact, several months after my husband’s accidental and very sudden death, I was very sensitive to shouts or loud talking, and I actually went to this man privately and asked him very nicely (I thought) to “tone it down,” and to shout less, and maybe the attendance at our little church might stop dropping. My request was not received well, needless to say.
He did, however, embrace the Trojan Horse Psychopath and my (now ex) daughter-in-law, both before and after their arrests for trying to kill my oldest son. My requests (before their arrests and afterwards) went unheeded, and I was basically told not to bother him, he was “too busy” to get involved in my problems.
Sixth sense
It really isn’t all that noble of me to glory in the downfall of those that I don’t like, but at the same time, it is validation of my “sixth sense” about people. Almost every time I have ignored my dislike of someone there has been something, somewhere down the line, that has validated my “spidey sense” about that person. Several times that “something” has been child molestation or murder, or all of the above, though at the time I felt the intuitive dislike for that person, I never dreamed that they would molest children or be responsible for someone’s death. I just thought, “I don’t like that person,” or, “there’s something about them I don’t trust.”
It is important, I think, that we listen to our intuition about predators, and believe me, psychopaths are predators on two legs. They camouflage themselves and try to blend into the landscape just like a lion does, but there is something within us that, if we listen to it, will many times protect us. If we “turn it off” or “tune it out,” however, it can’t protect us from the predators. Just like the antelope must be alert for the lion, we must be alert for the psychopaths that prowl the savannas of our lives. When we get a whiff of “there’s a predator about,” we must honor that intuition in order to survive. Even if no one else would believe it!
Oxy,
I also went to the aftermath site, before coming to LF and I was emotionally abused by the moderators. It was incredible. I went into a WTF? moment.
The reason I was abused is because I quoted a woman, Anna, from her excellent site on narcissism. (It’s no longer very active, since she has mostly moved on) The mods said I couldn’t quote Anna unless I had her explicit permission, so I wrote to her and requested the permission. Then the mods said they weren’t interested in quoting Anna, blah blah blah…
They were envious of Anna!! spath city over there. 🙁
Well, Sky, I just don’t find it as supportive as Love Fraud, but then again, I think LF is absolutely THE most supportive site on the net as far as articles and blogger interaction and support.
How was your day Oxy?
Thanks for asking, Sky, had a wonderful day. Ran into several friends at the auction that I hadn’t seen in a while and didn’t buy much (a box of books) but enjoyed seeing the things sell. Glad to get home, it should rain tomorrow which we need, so I’ll sleep late and well to the pitter patter of rain on the roof (I hope) wish I had a tin roof when it rains. I love the sound of rain on a tin roof!
Sky – from tthe horses mouth: ‘
“Space is information” is probably the best way to put it, or “Space is latent energy,” “Space is potential—”these three formulae work well. If one looks inside, one meets naked awareness. Then a thought, feeling, or memory appears and disappears back into that space. The outer world functions in the same way: galaxies come together, change, and disappear into black holes—probably giving off hydrogen for the next universe.”
from a lecture on science and Buddhism, lama ole nydhal.
I would include in his definition of outer world, the (non verbal) communication of all beings, and non sentient forms of life (in this article he is addressing science, so his example is one of physical science). if we are opened to it, all sorts of info is available.
hhhm , a week of ‘restraints’, old freinds, books and pedophile butt kicking – you are having TOO much fun oxy!
The sixth sense section here reminds me of The Gift of Fear, which went missing while I was living with my ex spath, so I never got to finish it.
Joyce, this happened just a couple days ago? Sheesh. Seems like they just linger in our lives with the destruction. When will it just get very, very quiet until we can hear no more of those shuddering sounds and commotion that they stirred daily? These aftershocks really keep me looking over my shoulder or just standing here frozen in perpetual anticipation of another attack.
I have been listening to my gut more. I noticed that it talks to me a lot, and I don’t listen because I find my gut to be very judgmental. After what I’ve been through, I just don’t care anymore. My new policy is that if my gut doesn’t like someone, then I will be cautious. I don’t care how sweet or innocent that person is. If they truly aren’t a threat, I will find out soon enough. But if my gut feels nervous, I take this seriously now. I realize that if I had listened to my gut in the first place, I’d have avoided at least half, if not all, of the crap I went through in life.
Nice article. I like your writing style. Was this written by Joyce or Donna? It’s hard to tell as there are two names on it.
Dear Panther,
It was written by Me (Joyce-OX Drover) glad you like my style, thank you.
Yep, listening to our gut, that spidey sense that we inherited from our ancestors, is important to our safety. If a rabbit doesn’t learn to listen and look for signs that there is a cat or a fox in the area, he will be eaten if he either doesn’t honor these senses and get close to a place he can hide, or run to safety.
Psychopaths tend to hit us at first with the “love bomb” which is a BE VERY VERY SWEET AND NICE WHEN YOU FIRST MEET SOMEONE….this is BTW the way cults hook new members.
Once we (humans) make up our mind that someone is “safe” and we give them our trust, it is difficult for us (humans) to take back that trust and even if we see “bad acts” we will explain them away, give this “trusted” person another chance etc.
Well, we are having to GO AGAINST our natural and cultural programming to WITH HOLD TRUST FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS LOVE BOMBED US….but this is what we MUST do to learn to keep trust RESERVED until the person has EARNED it, NOT JUST “LOVE BOMBED” US.
The new “letters to lovefraud” article that Donna put up today is a good example of what happens with a psychopath, FIRST IS THE LOVE BOMB, then the temper tantrums….the “ownership” of the victim (in his mind at least he owned her)
We have to listen to our guts and avoid people that we get the “spidey tingle” from, and if later, it proves that we were too cautious, nothing is lost….but way too many times, my “spidey tingle” does warn me about people. It won’t tell me exactly what is off about them, like I would never have predicted this preacher was a pedophile, but I did know there was something in his angry demeanor that I didn’t like and I sure didn’t think he exemplified a Christian minister’s attitude or behavior.
Dear One,
Yea, I’ve been a real gad about, went to the auction last night and stayed out til –GASP—10 p.m.! Gave in to my addiction and bought a box of books for $2….and even ate an ice cream!
Also had the fun of helping a visiting college student who was the granddaughter of one of the regular attenders there make her first winning bid, and we got her desired item for $5. She was absolutely THRILLED…nice young lady in her 6th year of college working on her PhD in psychology.
All that gadding around, plus the fact that I had been to town to see about selling the wagon, and to court busting the chops of the pedophile. Yep, been an exciting week, but the most exciting thing is that the weather is going to break!!!! Starting today and be in the 70s in the day time and 50-60 at night! Crisp fall weather! HIP HIP HOOOOOOOORAY!!!!!
The weather got really hot again here, too and finally broke in the middle of the night.
my new roomie brought mold with her. sigh. I haven’t been this close for a while. it’s not nice. will take a week or so to work through it….she brought only one suitcase, so there isn’t so much to clean. but now there are mold spores in the house. sigh.
hasn’t affected me cognitively yet, but got all my other reactions. had forgotten how horrible it is to be in constant contact. am staying out of the house as much as possible.