By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
I don’t have much use for people who lie ”¦ but sometimes I have resorted to it myself, and today was one of those days.
You know, sometimes psychopaths are sort of like a sexually transmitted disease, they are the “love that keeps on giving in a negative way,” it seems, forever.
What brought me to telling a lie, because it was just more believable than the truth, was a convoluted story about the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” who infiltrated my family. This man is a three-time convicted child molester who had been a former cell mate and friend to my son, Patrick Alexander, who is in prison in Texas for murder. My son had sent him to infiltrate our family as a “friend,” and position himself to be able to kill me and take over our family resources. The Trojan Horse Psychopath had worked on my farm and helped out with my elderly family member, and thus gained access to my home and sneaked into my personal documents.
I’m a meticulous record keeper, and very organized with my record keeping, and pretty well know how to lay hands on any document I need instantly. I have a fire safe in my office that is never locked, because it is small enough to steal and carry off. I have a sign on the front of it that reads, “There is nothing of any value in this safe, the combination is X-Y-Z, it contains only business documents I want to protect from fire.”
Vehicle titles
The titles to my several vehicles and trailers that are used around the farm are, and have been for years, kept in the slot on the inside of the door to the safe. Since I haven’t bought or sold any vehicles or trailers (except for the recreational vehicle I bought to live in when I fled my home in the summer of 2007), I had not had any cause to go through any of these titles, or even count them, until yesterday. I decided to sell a Conestoga wagon, and the flat-bed trailer that I used to transport it, so I went to the safe to get out the title to the trailer and it was gone! Going through the titles there, I realized that four of the titles to various vehicles and trailers were missing!
The Trojan Horse Psychopath had been arrested in August 2007, when he and my son’s wife tried to kill my oldest biological son, after my son discovered they were having an affair, so he hadn’t had access to my documents since several months before his arrest. But prior to then, he had stolen documents and “messed with” my credit card accounts, my cell phone account, and other items that kept me spinning in my insanity. He would order items off “late night television” and have them sent to my house, like those “Send me $49 and I will make you a real estate millionaire,” and those “clubs” for music and videos that are like the Mafia, once in you can never get out! He even signed me up for interest in Scientology, and I still get tons of mail filling up my post office box from that group. He took over my cell phone account and deleted my contact numbers and added and deleted services and turned it on and off.
Nice ladies
So today when I had to go to the department of motor vehicles to request the replacement of four vehicle and trailer titles, there was no way I was going to tell this tale of woe to the nice ladies behind the desk. There was no way they would have believed me if I had told them the truth of why I needed that many titles replaced, so I took the easy way out and I lied. (So shoot me!)
I told them that my grandkids had been playing “office” and had gotten into my important papers and destroyed them. The nice ladies believed my lie and I paid my fees and the titles should come in the mail in just a few days.
I sort of feel guilty about telling the nice ladies the lie, but there was no way they were going to believe that a pedophile ex-convict from Texas got into my documents and randomly destroyed and stole some of them just to mess with my mind. Maybe I should have used this as a “teaching opportunity” to educate these women about psychopaths (I was the only customer in the office with three nice ladies), but I had to be quick in order to get to the court hearing of the ex-minister of our little country church who had been arrested for child pornography and Internet stalking of a child. I didn’t want to explain to them why I was in such a hurry either.
Here’s the news story on HarrisonDaily.com:
Man, 58, arrested after Internet sting: Agri inspector
Predator in court
I didn’t want to miss his court date, and as it turned out, I was the only one from my community there. He was, I believe, very shocked to see me walk into the courtroom in the small country town about a hour and a half drive north of where I live. I was dressed very nicely in my “pillar of the community matron goes to court or funerals” ensemble. Court had not yet convened and people were quietly talking among themselves in the spectator section of the room.
As I walked by where he was seated, waiting for his turn in front of the judge, I slapped him cheerfully on the back and said, “Hi, Dicky, what are you doing here?” I didn’t wait for a response, but kept on purposefully walking and sat down a couple of rows directly behind him, where he couldn’t see me unless he turned around in his seat, which he didn’t do, but sat facing forward, looking neither to the right or the left. None of his family was there, and though most of the defendants in the courtroom seemed to have friends or family with them, no matter what the charges were. He was alone. I don’t doubt that he felt my eyes boring into the back of his neck.
I never did particularly like this man, even when he was preaching at our little community church. His messages always seemed to me to be shouted and angry, rather than uplifting and loving. He presented an angry God, not a loving father. In fact, several months after my husband’s accidental and very sudden death, I was very sensitive to shouts or loud talking, and I actually went to this man privately and asked him very nicely (I thought) to “tone it down,” and to shout less, and maybe the attendance at our little church might stop dropping. My request was not received well, needless to say.
He did, however, embrace the Trojan Horse Psychopath and my (now ex) daughter-in-law, both before and after their arrests for trying to kill my oldest son. My requests (before their arrests and afterwards) went unheeded, and I was basically told not to bother him, he was “too busy” to get involved in my problems.
Sixth sense
It really isn’t all that noble of me to glory in the downfall of those that I don’t like, but at the same time, it is validation of my “sixth sense” about people. Almost every time I have ignored my dislike of someone there has been something, somewhere down the line, that has validated my “spidey sense” about that person. Several times that “something” has been child molestation or murder, or all of the above, though at the time I felt the intuitive dislike for that person, I never dreamed that they would molest children or be responsible for someone’s death. I just thought, “I don’t like that person,” or, “there’s something about them I don’t trust.”
It is important, I think, that we listen to our intuition about predators, and believe me, psychopaths are predators on two legs. They camouflage themselves and try to blend into the landscape just like a lion does, but there is something within us that, if we listen to it, will many times protect us. If we “turn it off” or “tune it out,” however, it can’t protect us from the predators. Just like the antelope must be alert for the lion, we must be alert for the psychopaths that prowl the savannas of our lives. When we get a whiff of “there’s a predator about,” we must honor that intuition in order to survive. Even if no one else would believe it!
Panther,
Nah, the guy wasn’t lost, he was “casing the joint.” He would have been “smarter” I think to have pretended to be lost….I might not have suspected him quite so much if he’d claimed to be lost.
Well, learning social clues can be done even if they don’t “come naturally” to you….and it is sort of like learning, I think, to speak in public. When you first start doing it, you are nervous and anxious, but once you start to work on learning how to do it, it comes easier. So even if you have Aspergers on some level, you CAN improve that skill.
I think all of us have some things we need to work on. I didn’t have an idea of how to set boundaries for how others treated me, but I’m learning. So even if you have some deficits in some areas, you can work on improving them and how you interact with others. Hey, if a psychopath can learn to function without any appreciable empathy, someone with some deficit of empathy on the Asbergers range can also learn to function without as much empathy as “normal”—at least you are not a psychopath who enjoys hurting others, so while you may not have the natural awareness of the “social niceties” you have a conscience and you still CARE.
BTW you do not seem either stupid or rude to me. In fact, quite the opposite.
Sky ~ that is exactly right – I am going to reject you before you can reject me – I am going to hurt you before you can hurt me -I will care about nothing, so punishment will not help.
Even urinating the bed, closet, etc. is a VERY common symptom – it is the one and only thing they have 100% control over, so they use it.
Oxy ~ you never know what is going to crawl out from behind a bush out in the sticks. Just checking to see if anyone was home. We have that happen a lot.
Yesterday a taxi pulled into our drive. We live at least 30 miles from a city big enough to have taxi service. A taxi??? The driver got out and asked if we had goats for sale. He was actually going to put it IN THE TAXI. Can you imagine being the next person to get in THAT TAXI. YUK. It was a no sale, just leave please !!
Ox, that’s creepy. It’s also funny…you are right that for “casing the joint” he did use a stupid excuse.
Learning social cues is something I have become much better at, but empathy is actually not something I lack. I lack the ability (often) to tell when I have said or done something which hurts a person, but as soon as I realize what I have done, I feel horrible for it and remind myself to be careful next time. For example (1 of many), I worked with this girl who changed her hair often. One day, she came in with what looked like a skunk on her head. Okay, it was a SKUNK! She had black hair with a white line down the center! Of course….I blurted out that she looked like she had a skunk on her head. Did I mean harm? Not in the slightest. I thought I was stating the obvious and that “skunk” was actually her aim! She got angry with me and only then did it occur to me that I had said something offensive. Asperger’s seems almost like the docile version of spath. I am not sure how empathy works for others, but for me, I kinda need someone to say “ouch” at times and then I correct my behavior. I’m much better now than when I was younger, but sometimes I am afraid to speak at all and I run through sentences in my head a lot before uttering them.
I am glad you don’t find me stupid and rude….
Skylar: I read that blog top to bottom and was so effected by it that I thought about it nonstop for quite some time after. I came to a conclusion similar to yours.
You know the camera incident? He KNEW there was a camera. This means that he intended for them to see what he did, which means he wanted to disturb them. I don’t think he is so gone that he cannot process that his behavior would shock his parents. I know his father has decided that his behavior is due to inability to tell time or the spath idea that they cannot get caught. I can see how this would apply in many ways, but I just cannot fathom, even for an spath, that he would think the camera wouldn’t see him. That means he HAD to have intended for them to see that. Or he didn’t CARE if they saw it. That’s possible too….yet I kinda think he might have done that deliberately, which would change a lot of the theories his father has about the kid’s behavior.
I am still disgusted that we are ABLE to discuss this. His father should have never put this information on the internet. I do not think I have the right to know about the private sexual activities of a 13-year-old boy. His father has betrayed him by putting that online, and perhaps the father feels betrayed too, in which case BOTH sides are acting out.
MiLo,
Well, on that one, the guy I am betting was from another country and wanted to buy goats for food. I bet he owned the taxi and drove it as his personal car as well.
It is all too common now for people from other countries to come out here in the boonies and buy live goats, cut their throats and throw them into the trunk of their cars. Some guys even singe the hair off before they load them up (depending on how they intend to cook them) so no, that would not surprise me! I’ve even sold goats to “hippies” that hauled them in their cars alive!
BTW female goats or castrated males do NOT stink. A male goat however, stinks worse than any sewer!
Yea, that’s true about you never know what will crawl out of a rock out here…and that is another reason I am CAUTIOUS. We’ve got the BIG TIME natural gas drilling going on around here and in addition to the local trash, we have the “oil field trash” that are here by the HUNDREDS and are migrant labor, hard drugging, hard drinking, bad arse people without any roots. I’m not too much physically afraid of the local trash (though they will STEAL from you) but the “rough necks” are another breed entirely. They don’t get that name for nothing!
Oxy ~ yep, he was from another country and spoke very broken English. I have already told another group the goats go off my property alive, what they do then is their business. These are meat goats so I expect them to be slaughtered, just not in MY yard.
I also know what you mean about the drilling guys, we have them too. And people think it is so safe in the country, yea right.
Well, if you have meat goats you know about goats then, but so what if he wanted to put it in his taxi? I’d have taken pictures of it sticking it’s head out the back window! LOL
I miss having goats actually, because I sure do like them, but you know, when the weather is good I miss a lot of the livestock I used to have, but when it is BAD, I do NOT miss them! LOL
Hello How are you? Do you really want to know? It will take time to tell ya. Ok.. Well I saw a 300 pound goat today, he was paddling a boat down the river and playing a banjo. Duh… where are ya going? I thought you wanted to know how I was? Oh My … next time I will just say ‘fine’
Henry, darlen, I believe whatever you say! And you know, I’ve known some 300 pound goats that if they wanted to play a banjo I wouldn’t have tried to stop them, or to try to make them get out of my boat either! LOL Kind of like “where does a 300 pound gorilla sleep? Anywhere he darned well pleases!”
Panther, About that story about the “skunk” on the woman’s head (her hair do) actually I am not sure that saying something like that makes you + for Aspergers…and yea, I am sure she WAS offended, but you know, anyone who will get a hairdo like that is LOOKING FOR ATTENTION by dressing/grooming in an outlandish way, so I’m not sure your comment was inappropriate at all. LOL
Have you been clinically diagnosed as Aspergers or are you “self diagnosing?”
If this is causing you problems with your social life, and/or with employment etc. you might be able to get some help with this aspect of things that might help you heal and help keep you from being hooked into another relationship with someone who has high psychopathic traits.