True Lovefraud Stories, on Lovefraud.com, is a series of case studies illustrating how con artists and people who would probably be diagnosed as sociopaths ply their trade. Months, and sometimes years, have passed since these individuals were profiled. But according to updates we’ve heard, they’re still pulling their scams.
If you are still trying to believe that the predator you were involved with will see the light and change his or her behavior, read these stories. You’ll see that it’s not going to happen. Once a sociopath becomes an adult, he or she does not change.
Dennis SanSeverino
Since February, Trish Rynn, who lost her home and inheritance to Dennis SanSeverino, has been trying to hold him accountable. Back in 2006, SanSeverino pled guilty to theft by illegal retention, and was sentenced to five years probation. He was ordered to pay Rynn restitution of $275,000.
Well, he hasn’t been doing it, and Rynn has been trying to get SanSeverino prosecuted for violating his probation. The prosecutor’s office in Cape May County, New Jersey, wasn’t exactly interested in pursuing the case, but Rynn was persistent, and Judge Raymond Batten finally found him guilty of violating his probation. SanSeverino’s sentencing hearing was scheduled for September 26, 2008. He never showed up.
That day, SanSeverino’s latest girlfriend called the court and said SanSeverino was in the hospital. The judge didn’t buy it and issued a warrant for his arrest. But the con artist has apparently left the state, and authorities don’t seem to consider this case worth the time and expense of extradition.
Brian Ellington
Lovefraud has been hearing from all kinds of people about Brian Ellington. Apparently he’s been making the rounds of North Carolina golf courses, pretending to be a pro and betting $1,000 a hole. When he wins, he makes out. When he loses, he doesn’t pay. He also runs up bar tabs and leaves, forcing whoever had the misfortune of being the evening’s drinking buddy to foot the bill.
Then we got phone calls from someone with official connections saying that Elllington had been arrested in New York. He had a court appearance for a petit larceny charge scheduled for September 22, 2008, in the Bronx, but did not show up. A warrant was issued for his arrest. Ellington was also supposed to be in Manhattan court in August for a disorderly conduct charge, and we doubt showed up for that one either.
Phil Haberman
Lovefraud has written extensively about Phil Haberman, first profiled by the Dallas Observer as “G.I. Jerk.” Haberman married a woman before shipping off to Iraq so he could collect separation benefits from the military. When he got to Iraq he claimed special forces training, diving skills, medic training—yeah, right. The army shipped him back after 24 days.
Eventually, he received an Other Than Honorable discharge—his second one. Since then, however, he repeatedly tried to enlist in National Guard units that are shipping out to Iraq. His most recent attempt was last week in North Fort Hood, Texas—the largest active duty armored post in the United States. Commanders became suspicious of Haberman’s stories, and the man they asked to check Haberman out was already intimately familiar with the con artist’s scams. According to posts on ProfessionalSoldiers.com, Haberman was “shown the front gate of North Fort Hood and told to never come back.”
So what did Haberman do? He went to the Dallas JAG office and filed a complaint against the commander for kicking him out.
By the way, Haberman posted a video of himself during parachute training on YouTube.
Lance Larabee
Lance Larabee, who has conned women into buying him houses, boats and planes, has declared bankruptcy in an effort to avoid paying the judgments against him won by one of his victims, Debbie White. When White contested the bankruptcy, Larabee filed a claim against her for invasion of privacy. Apparently Larabee didn’t like what was written about him in Lovefraud and other places. Hearings are coming soon.
James Montgomery
I was contacted recently by a woman in Australia—my ex-husband, James Montgomery, is on About My Age in Australia, “The online community for over 50s.” Montgomery claims to be a “retired academic and screenwriter.” Yeah, right. This woman got suspicious about his Ph.D., Googled him, found Lovefraud and dumped him.
I checked out my ex-husband’s listing on AboutMyAge.com. He’s posted a photo that was taken in 1997, when he was married to me and was a guest on a local radio station, which is reproduced below.
When I first met Montgomery he lied to me about his age, claiming he was “a genuine baby boomer”—49 years old—when he was really 55. I wonder what he’s claiming now. Here is a current photo, taken in March, 2008. It is not posted on AboutMyAge.com.
Dear James,
I will give you my best answers. The DAY I had unprotected sex with my husband and my second son (the P) was conceived, my back started to hurt on the left side afterwards…I knew I had ovulated and that I would be preg. I WAS.
With my first son I wasn’t even suspicious until I missed my period 2 weeks after conception, but they didn’t have the “home” tests in those years you just had to have blood drawn about a month or so after the missed period.
For some women they can tell when they ovulate (an egg is released) others can’t. My periods were very regular, some women’s aren’t.
Usually in a few weeks after conception your breasts and nipples may become tender as the hormones change, but it really varies from woman to woman.
I know a woman who had a preg at age 44 and she didn’t know til she was 7 months along. She was quite heavy and in menopause so just didn’t “connect” that she was preg.
I had a patient once who was VERY obese and she was DELIVERING and didn’t know she was preg. She weighed like 500 pounds and had a ten pound baby.
I know these are all examples on the EXTREME ends of the poles, but it just varies really. Some women can tell quickly and some not for a long time so the answer is not really possible for an individual woman without knowing a lot more details about her hormonal cycles.
Unfortunately James you will probably never be totally sure about her honesty on that issue. But my guess is that she lied if she used pregnancy to “hook” you. That is a common thing with the female of the P species.
Ox-
I agree with your reply. They jsut don’t seem to even care about the consequences that would bother a person who knows what love is, or pain, or empathy..you know where I’m going….Someone who has real emotions and feelings.
In the past when we would even talk about God at all, he would say that people who believe in God, or have a type of spirituality, are WEAK, that they need to believe in something higher than them because they can’t handle it themselves. WEAK, huh? I would be nothing without GOD! It’s unbelievable what the S’s or P’s ‘believe!
James-
My husband’s ex-S seduced him during the divorce because she knew she was ovulating. She knew her cycle like the back of her hand. I’m not that adept, but then, I don’t try to trap men by getting pregnant. To add insult to injury, she said she didn’t know who the daddy was, so we had to wait 9 months to find out.
I’ve had three, and the first one, I didn’t realize I was pregnant till my period was 3 weeks late (I was moving, etc). The second and third, I was taking tests every day because I had had unprotected sex with my husband and suspected. Usually a woman gets pregnant smack in the middle of her cycle (day 14 from start of last period). She will know about 2 weeks later if she’s late and takes a test.
Your question is vague, but I’m guessing if the woman is a S/P, and was trying to trap you, from my experience, she probably trapped you. Sorry.
OxDrover
“Unfortunately James you will probably never be totally sure about her honesty on that issue. But my guess is that she lied if she used pregnancy to “hook” you. That is a common thing with the female of the P species.”
Thanks OxDrover and yes I agree with you that she indeed “hook” me a second time when having one of our children. She knew I didn’t want anymore children with her seeing how our relationship was just after having our first born. She also knew how I would never leave any of my children and this allowed her yet more control over me.. My ex wasn’t obese or very late in her years in fact she was around her middle Thirty at the time. Again thanks so much. One thing I would like to add is that she had her “tubes” tied and until it would be reversed she can’t have anymore children… I think? Well let’s hope so because she is the type of person that “uses” children for her needs and cares less about them or their needs. For me anyway any person that would use a child to gain from that child is nothing less then child abuse.
James
I completely agree. I still don’t know how I’m going to explain to my step-child that she was a trap– nothing else. Of course I won’t, but she’ll be able to do the math one day, and no matter how much assurance we give her, she’ll always know. Her mother cares nothing about her. At one point, when her 3rd husband was telling her to leave, she plopped her 11 month old down in front of him and said, “How could you do this to her?” She knew how much that man loved that little girl (he’s a good guy, despite being stupid). She used that child as a last-ditch effort at manipulation, even after she brought her into this world as a last-ditch effort to save her own skin. She’s not a mother, she’s a monster. One who needs her tubes tied.
Letgoletgod and kerisee04
Thanks for both of your replies.
Letgoletgod, yes I know many people sees us (Christians) as weak to believe in a God when there is so much wrong in our world. But as I tell them God has nothing to do with how we treat others and the state our world is in he gave us. I would like to see how they can explain just how “weak” those Christians were who gave up their lives and suffer much in his name! Also I do know they see “love” as a weakness as well. Well if loving God other people and myself is a sign of “weakness” then count me in as being “weak”.
Kerisee04
Thanks for your reply and information and I do agree with you. One thing about my ex P is that as time went on she found it very very hard to lie to me. Which is why she became more secreted about what she was up to in the end. Like missing time and how she “really” spend her free time which she (she only worked part-time when she did work) had plenty of. Because I don’t believe on spying (wish I did more concerning her but remember I didn’t know anything about PD) on people and controlling them (but I was continually told I was “trying to control her“) I did allow this type of deceit to happen longer then I should have. Anyway thanks again Kerisee for the information and yes I do agree with you that I was “hook” and that she used that as a way to maintain her “control connection” over me.
To whom it may concern:
One member asked me about Personal power verse Power over. This book deals with “Verbal Abuse” in relationships. Anyway I did find the book that break this down and explains how some of us have “personal power” and other believe in Power over. Also it tells the reader how some people in relationships can really live in two different Reality’s. The writer refer to it as Reality I and Reality II. It is a great book for research if one doesn’t understand what verbal abuse is all about. Then this book is for you. This is the 2nd time I read this book and plan on buying it..
THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
How to recognize it and how to respond
By: Patricia Evans
Also after reading this book I saw how I and my oldest son were in this type of relationship with my ex P and his mother for 15 years. Only wished I read this book about 10 years ago!!
James, thanks so much for that book information, it sounds like a good read. I will look it up. There IS a lot of good information out there in “self help” books, and some that are “fluff” and not real helpful but the more you know about dysfunctional crap the better armed you are against it.
One of the “best” P lines I ever heard was a friend of mine’s step daughter who has had (Now) 5 children, the last born in jail, was advised by her father and her step mother who was raising all 4 of the first children to have her tubes tied, and her typical P reply was “No, I might want to have more children some day!” HOW LOW CAN YOU GO.
When the 5th child was born in jail, the father of the “girl” called her mother and said “MY wife and I are raising the first 4, you get this one.” She did get her tubes tied after the 5th one.
The lady who is raising the first four of her step daughter’s children is also raising the two young sons of her step-son who shot and killed himself, and the mother of those two children was literally STARVING them. (they were 45% underweight for age and starture) I vote this woman for SAINTHOOD, her and all the grandmothers and stepmothers and fathers and grandfathers who are busting their butts to raise these “at risk” kids who are the product of uncaring parents.
James, I’m also the victim of female “p” “s” or “aspd” and her using her children and our child “my 44 cal. baby” as weapons. As far as the pregnancy thing, after our 2nd sexual encounter she told me she thought she may be pregnant. I witnessed her take a brand new EPT test from the package and go into the bathroom and return with it and watched as the test indicated positive. I later learned she had obtained urine from her pregnant sister in law to perpertrate this fraud. And of corse if you’re pregnant there’s no need for birth control. Thus that’s how she became pregnant with our child. Very long story short I endured a year of inconceivable abuse trying to save my daughter from being from a broken home. I’m now in my 3rd year of a custody battle trying to save my daughter from her mother. After being jailed twice for false sex allegations,two evaluations,a psycho-sexual eval for me and psychological for her, indications our we may finally win. Should be in the last few months of the custody battle. Plan on posting entire ugly story once my daughters future is assured. Best of luck to all of us who have to deal these people.
hardlesson
Thanks for the input hardlesson and I guess it is nice to know I wasn’t the only one. Silly of me to think so now. Can’t wait to hear your story and thanks again for sharing.
But I do have another question for parents here at LF and of course you as well hardlesson. The question is as followed:
After being in NC for almost 3 years now and not dating believing I needed all my free time to heal and learn from this experience I decided to try dating again. Well again being a single parent thought maybe on line dating might work. Anyway I meet two ladies while searching for a dating partner. The first one was nice but alas we had very little in common and of course no real chemistry between us so the relationship didn’t hold. Now the second one I was attractive to and she seem to understand about relationships and how one should be (later learned this was just word salad on her part) which included but not limited to understanding communication etc..
All was great in the first two weeks but I started to see some red flags in her. One was how she tried to define me and how she started to “project” some of her qualities on me. This of course is what we call “psychic boundaries” and I thought maybe by using communication and understanding we both would learn how not to violate these psychic boundaries. Sorry to say this didn’t happen. But when this person violated my personal boundaries I really started to see a bigger problem and one I wasn’t ready to deal with. What happens is one day I get a call from her before I was ready to leave for work. She started to explain how she had some thing to do that evening so I told her ok maybe we can see each other some other time and how I had to leave for work. While I was at work I received a phone call (cell) from my oldest son telling that she “just came over to see my them and talk to them”?? Now we have a family rule that no friends of my are to “just come over” to visit my children unless I am at home with them. My oldest understand this rule and know me well enough that if someone was coming over I would tell both of them about it first but again this never happens. I told my oldest that because I was at work I couldn’t do anything about it but please don’t let her in. Of course my son didn’t but asked me if I knew she would be coming over. “No son I didn’t know”. Then later I get another call on my cell and it is her asking me if I was at work? OMG what is happening?? Now I know she knows I am at work because she just talked with my son that told her that!!! God was I mad! Why would she just “come over?” I kept asking myself over and over again. Well I left work ASAP and got home as quick as possible. I waited to calm down before calling her to ask why she just “came over to visit my children”. I told her maybe (she didn’t have children of her own) she didn’t know about the “no friend visit rule” and please don’t do it again. Her reply was that I gave her permission to come over.. OMG!!! I couldn’t believe she just lied to me on the phone. I would never Give her permission and if I did because I just lost my mind I would at least have told my sons she would be coming over!!! I couldn’t believe this was happening!!! Now I am really upset so I don’t call her for a couple days to calm down before talking with her about this not wanting to say anything I would regret later. So on the second day again she just “stop by” holding some type of cake for my children (which I threw away) and wanting to talk to me. to see how my children were? I told her my children are no concern of her! Well dear readers enough is enough! I told her never to come back and please leave my children and I alone! Now I believe she did in fact violate my psychic boundary and then move on to violate my personal boundaries as well. Okay the question to parents on LF is did I behave unreasonably and what would you do if this happen to your children and you? Now to be fair this person never had children a decision she made years ago. Maybe she doesn’t understand just how “protective” we (parents) can get whenever there is a issue concerning our children. But then violating my psychic boundaries is one thing but violating my personal boundaries are yet another issue altogether. Plus lying to me really gave me some EM’s (emotional memories) BIG TIME!!!! Was I wrong to “slam” the door on this relationship”. Really I don’t believe I was and still believe I did the right thing. But I would really appreciate your comments on this event and what would you have done?
Thanks James.