True Lovefraud Stories, on Lovefraud.com, is a series of case studies illustrating how con artists and people who would probably be diagnosed as sociopaths ply their trade. Months, and sometimes years, have passed since these individuals were profiled. But according to updates we’ve heard, they’re still pulling their scams.
If you are still trying to believe that the predator you were involved with will see the light and change his or her behavior, read these stories. You’ll see that it’s not going to happen. Once a sociopath becomes an adult, he or she does not change.
Dennis SanSeverino
Since February, Trish Rynn, who lost her home and inheritance to Dennis SanSeverino, has been trying to hold him accountable. Back in 2006, SanSeverino pled guilty to theft by illegal retention, and was sentenced to five years probation. He was ordered to pay Rynn restitution of $275,000.
Well, he hasn’t been doing it, and Rynn has been trying to get SanSeverino prosecuted for violating his probation. The prosecutor’s office in Cape May County, New Jersey, wasn’t exactly interested in pursuing the case, but Rynn was persistent, and Judge Raymond Batten finally found him guilty of violating his probation. SanSeverino’s sentencing hearing was scheduled for September 26, 2008. He never showed up.
That day, SanSeverino’s latest girlfriend called the court and said SanSeverino was in the hospital. The judge didn’t buy it and issued a warrant for his arrest. But the con artist has apparently left the state, and authorities don’t seem to consider this case worth the time and expense of extradition.
Brian Ellington
Lovefraud has been hearing from all kinds of people about Brian Ellington. Apparently he’s been making the rounds of North Carolina golf courses, pretending to be a pro and betting $1,000 a hole. When he wins, he makes out. When he loses, he doesn’t pay. He also runs up bar tabs and leaves, forcing whoever had the misfortune of being the evening’s drinking buddy to foot the bill.
Then we got phone calls from someone with official connections saying that Elllington had been arrested in New York. He had a court appearance for a petit larceny charge scheduled for September 22, 2008, in the Bronx, but did not show up. A warrant was issued for his arrest. Ellington was also supposed to be in Manhattan court in August for a disorderly conduct charge, and we doubt showed up for that one either.
Phil Haberman
Lovefraud has written extensively about Phil Haberman, first profiled by the Dallas Observer as “G.I. Jerk.” Haberman married a woman before shipping off to Iraq so he could collect separation benefits from the military. When he got to Iraq he claimed special forces training, diving skills, medic training—yeah, right. The army shipped him back after 24 days.
Eventually, he received an Other Than Honorable discharge—his second one. Since then, however, he repeatedly tried to enlist in National Guard units that are shipping out to Iraq. His most recent attempt was last week in North Fort Hood, Texas—the largest active duty armored post in the United States. Commanders became suspicious of Haberman’s stories, and the man they asked to check Haberman out was already intimately familiar with the con artist’s scams. According to posts on ProfessionalSoldiers.com, Haberman was “shown the front gate of North Fort Hood and told to never come back.”
So what did Haberman do? He went to the Dallas JAG office and filed a complaint against the commander for kicking him out.
By the way, Haberman posted a video of himself during parachute training on YouTube.
Lance Larabee
Lance Larabee, who has conned women into buying him houses, boats and planes, has declared bankruptcy in an effort to avoid paying the judgments against him won by one of his victims, Debbie White. When White contested the bankruptcy, Larabee filed a claim against her for invasion of privacy. Apparently Larabee didn’t like what was written about him in Lovefraud and other places. Hearings are coming soon.
James Montgomery
I was contacted recently by a woman in Australia—my ex-husband, James Montgomery, is on About My Age in Australia, “The online community for over 50s.” Montgomery claims to be a “retired academic and screenwriter.” Yeah, right. This woman got suspicious about his Ph.D., Googled him, found Lovefraud and dumped him.
I checked out my ex-husband’s listing on AboutMyAge.com. He’s posted a photo that was taken in 1997, when he was married to me and was a guest on a local radio station, which is reproduced below.
When I first met Montgomery he lied to me about his age, claiming he was “a genuine baby boomer”—49 years old—when he was really 55. I wonder what he’s claiming now. Here is a current photo, taken in March, 2008. It is not posted on AboutMyAge.com.
Henry: I’m busy with writing GA courts regarding the idiot attorney that took my money and didn’t represent me on the foreclosure of my home. He’s lying, lying, lying through his teeth of course … what else is new?
Then … finally, the Lieut from the PD internal affairs called today regarding my complaint about the 2 detectives that refused to contact me on my complaint about my ex …
Who knows … maybe someone will do something? Ya think they do something for their paychecks these days … I’m putting it in God’s hands … to thump them with the frying pan over their heads.
And everyone must know, that I hate rehashing all this crap over and over again … with the courts, the cops, anything … I have to look at the evidence again and I absolutely hate looking at this stuff. It’s like it never dies and goes away … like a bad penny, popping up over and over and over again.
Peace.
wini when these things stress you out – come here and vent – we will listen – I will be happy for you when this is all behind you peace 2 u
Henry. Most of the time I do very well for myself … on the psychological level. I pamper myself, I surround myself with good friends and family. I take care of my pets … it just when I have to actually deal with this crap, whether it’s the police department or the courts … or even his cousin … yes, yes, yes, I spoke and wrote his cousin (who works for a church by the way) … it puts me back into the doldrums … and I hate that. I snap out of it really quick these days … so that’s good … it’s just going back into the abyss and abyss they all are.
But thanks. I do blog some of the stuff that has happened to me and other things that I remember while I’m blogging … just to throw it out there so others know that they aren’t alone in this … but for the most part, I’d rather write positive stuff or joke around … except when the Newbies join the blogging … then back to helping them get through the worst of it … cause the first part of the horror is so unbelievable … it practically chokes the life from you.
Thanks Henry … I always enjoy blogging with you … your fun.
Peace and hugs … hugs and peace.
Wini,
I’m a blogger, too. I have not explicitly blogged about my personal experience for various reasons, but I do blog about the danger of sociopaths in a round-about way using real-life court cases as examples of some of the things that sociopaths do (I’m a geeky court opinion reader). Readers seem to enjoy the blogs, and if I enlighten just one person, that’s one person saved …
kerisee04
Thanks for your reply. I don’t see this woman anymore because of that situation concerning her uninvited visits concerning my children. If this isn’t a BIG red flag then I don’t know what would be. I just feel bad about the way it “had” to end. And no I don’t see this person any longer.
About sociopaths in the workplace. I do agree they are there alive and well. I notice just like interpersonal relationships they will treat their employers the same. Insomuch they tend to attach themselves to a company and bleed it dry. And if a employee complains or file a complain they will just turn around and accuse you of the same thing or something else. I myself quit some jobs because I refuse to work for anyone that refuses to respect the individuality and rights of others. If they are indeed a sociopath or not that isn’t what is important. We all have the right to be treat as people not robots or slaves. It causes me much discomfort and anguish when I see others being abuse and disrespected by these so called managers and supervisors. Many are single parents that need these jobs and positions and quitting just isn’t a option for them especially with today’s economy. I believe anyone in HR should have to take some type of class concerning this problem in the workplace.
That is one of the reasons I believe reading the book on verbal abuse that show us what “power over” and “personal power” is all about. Many of these employer’s that display power over others get a “high” from displaying these behaviors. The book calls them “anger addicts”..
“When the abuser vents his anger on this partner (employee), he/she releases the underlying tension he/she feels from his sense of Personal Powerlessness. As a result, The partner (employee) feels bad and the abuser (employer) feels good.”
“Most verbal abuser are filled with inner tension, which they periodically and unpredictably release with angry outbursts directed at their partners. The tension then builds again until the abuser releases it again with another outburst. This build-up of tension and its release become a cyclical pattern of behavior. As soon as the tension is released, it begins to build again. I call the cycle the cycle of anger addictions and the abuser who follows this pattern of behavior are “anger addicts.”
I believe if we understand this “cycle” of abuse we can learn to deal with it better and stop allowing them to use us for their release of “anger”…
Dear Henry,
Thank you for that compliment sweetie, from the first time you posted I felt so much empathy for your pain and so much hope for your recovery and healing.
It was only because I knew we respected each other that I felt free to BOINK you on the head when I thought you needed it. LOL I knew that even if I offended you with the BOINK you would forgive me, but I’m glad my BOINKs didn’t offend you and that they were taken with the LOVE that they were intended with. “This is going to hurt me more than it is you” (yea, right, I always believed that ! NOT!) LOL
The wonderful thing about the healing I think, Henry, is that when we are more or less “done” with the grief process over our latest P-experience, we are more able to go back in time and heal the UNhealed wounds that we put band aids on, but are still festering, from the past.
I can’t believe how DEEPLY IN DENIAL I was about my mother’s past behavior. I was vaguely aware that she had “ruined christmas” for me by “spoiling” it every year with one of her tirades about how I was “ruining” HER CHRISTMAS by not having it with Uncle monster when I would CRY and beg her to quit doing this to me and she would then throw the guilt trip on me about how because I “hadn’t really truly forgiven him I was going to hell, and besides, I was ruining her Christmas by refusing to have Christmas with Uncle Monster.” EVERY year until I just got so fed up I would NOT even celebrate at all. No tree, no decorations and so on. My christmas decorations are in storage in a trunk and I can’t honestly remember when I got them out last or what is in there.
It seems to be a minor thing, really, just putting up a tree and so on, but it had BIG emotional meaning for me. I would tell people that I didn’t “celebrate” or decorate cause “it is for kids” and we don’t have any little kids in the family, so why bother. That was an EXCUSE and I KNEW IT. But it sounded plausable. ha ha
You know the ten commandments out of the Bible, well years ago I INVENTED AN 11TH COMMANDMENT, that is violated more than all the other 10 put together.
It is:
THOU SHALT NOT LIE TO THY SELF
and you know, I have violated the “11th Commandment” so much that I now know why I invented it, I PERFECTED IT.
After my divorce my therapist told me that I had the BIGGEST AND THICKEST PAIR OF ROSE COLORED GLASSES SHE HAD EVER SEEN.
I didn’t realize at the time just HOW RIGHT SHE WAS. Those Rose colored glasses were made and sold by the “Denial Rose Glass company, Inc.”
I also had a “Sweep it under the rug” BROOM.
I had ALL THE TOOLS to keep me BLIND, DEAF and DUMB to abuse to myself. I could accept the abuser’s blame that it was ALL MY FAULT cause I wasn’t perfect, better than anyone I knew, and to “keep up a front” that my life was “rosy.”
I had no problem confronting abuse to others, but couldn’t do it for myself.
One time when I was 12 I was riding my horse in a parade in our local little town of about 5,000 and this guy had hauled his horse in a pick up (that was all we had to haul them in in those days and had to back the back tires into a ditch to get the horse off and on the truck–my horse was traiined to jump up in there on a flat) anyway, this guy brought his horse to town, and then pushed it out of the truck on a paved street and when the horse fell out, it’s front feet bent and it was on it’s knees on the pavement. A horse can not get up from that position. They have to get up front feet (not back feet) first, so the ONLY way to get the horse up was to let it lie completely down and then get up froont feet first. Instead this ass started beating the horse so it couldn’t lie completely down and then get up.
I was so insensed that I jumped inthe middle of this guy’s back and “bit a plug out” of the back of his neck. (no blood drawn) I got in big trouble with my family for doing so but to this day I do not regret doing it. While the guy was fighting me off, the horse layed down and then got back up on it’s feet.
BTW a cow gets up back feet first. JUst a little bit of animal trivia.
I have always been willing to fight to the death to defend someone else, but never truly willing to fight FOR ME, especially against members of my “circle of love”—but now, I am learning that those people who would abuse me should NOT BE ALLOWED to be held in my “circle of love” because they DO NOT LOVE ME any more than than man was “loving” his horse with a whip when it was down and couldn’t get up.
I literally begged my mother and my P-son to get off my back and stop whippping me when I was in such pain I couldn’t get up, and they kept saying “get up” and whipping me. NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN!!!
I may just be BARELY smarter than my parrot–after 17 years I figured out a way to keep him from making messes outside the cage on the floor—but you know, I AM smart enough NOW to take care of ME, and not worry about taking care of someone who should be taking care of themselves. No more enabling, no more abuse, only JOY and CELEBRATION and THANKSGIVING TO GOD for PEACE AND LOVE. What more could anyone want in life? If I had a magic wand and one wish, I would wish that everyone here on LF had even half as much joy as I am experiencing now in my life.
BTW–the little violet colored flowers are still there under my bedroom window. I don’t know how long they will last with frost coming on, but it doesn’t matter, I will enjoy them every single day they are there, blooming just for me!
Dear Unwilling Raconteur: I believe that if we spill our guts about anything that “they’ve” done to us … helps the next person to know and understand, they are not alone with what is happening to their lives and it is not their fault. I think those are the 2 big hurdles to get through … understanding that you are not alone in this … and understanding that you are not to blame for what another person did to your life to destroy it.
Yes, I understand that knowledge is power and to arm ourselves to prevent future encounters … but there is nothing that will prevent another anti-social coming into our lives and being fooled by them. My EX perfected his game … he actually comes off like a loving, caring, sympathetic, “normal” person … and then Kaboom … he’s off down the road out of your life … already having done his damage. He can talk about anti-socials and warn you about them … never realizing that he too is one of them. That’s how good he is at what he does.
My situation is a little different than most … while my EX did me in … he was smiling to my face, acting loving and kind … and I was focused on keeping my head above water with what my bosses and their cronies were doing to me on a daily basis for 6 years. So, he either played me for everything he could get from me … knowing that I was devastated over what my bosses did … or he was a ringer for my bosses to destroy me on the home front, while they destroyed me on the career front. There’s just too many situations that merged perfectly for them to do me under …
The way I look at it … and what I know about anti-social personalities, they have to win at any cost. This makes sense to me … so if my bosses couldn’t get me in the career realm … my EX was doing me under in my personal life. They win, I loose.
But, who really looses here? … I’m still standing … no money and no career … but, I’m still a loving, kind, considerate person in touch with my emotions. That means more to me than any monetary, superficial stuff out there. So they won on the career issue and the money issue … but their lives are the real mess by not being able to LOVE … and my life is getting back to normal of being happy again… battered and bruised, but NOT done under.
My theory:
It’s easy to be an as#h**@....... in life using and abusing others to get what you want.
It takes backbone and courage to be a decent person while you go through life.
Peace.
Kerisee,
Hon, my qualities are no more admirable than yours or any of the lovely folks who write on this site. We ALL are wonderful, sweet, loving people with an abundance of tenderness and compassion for the suffering of others, whether we are intimately acquainted with them or not.
That’s why we are targeted by soulless fiends. They want what we have and when they realize they can’t have it by mingling with us, they strive with all their petty power to destroy us. It’s been the way of evil since time began: annihilate that which is good and pure.
My battles are different from your battles. I’m not a mother nor have I ever been a stepmother. I would think that trying to help, comfort and support children of PDIs is a monumental task, especially in the process of gaining full custody in order to protect those babies from further harm and damage.
I truly and deeply admire all of you women and men who fight constantly to do the right thing, even when you are frustrated and filled with despair at the lack of goverment social service intervention. It’s a sad, sorry state when folks who are PAID to help the innocent are either completely oblivious to consequences or just don’t give a damn.
I guess that’s why the underground railroad for exploited and abused children was created. To assist the good parent in establishing a nurturing and safe environment for the children. Like I said, I don’t have children but if I did I would do everything within my power and more to see that my babies were safe and loved. As all of you are doing.
I applaud your strength, your perseverance, your stalwart spirits as you continue to daily face such adversity. Just believe in yourself and truly know that you are doing what’s right and just.
God bless you……:)
Hi Oxydacious, you dear lady…..haha!!
And the adorable Henry and the ever wise and lovely Wini….!!
Yes, I missed you also and all the beautiful LF peeps. Although I do read this site at least one hour a day or every other day to stay abreast of the articles and essays submitted by the LF team and to read the comments.
I still consider it a necessity and my duty to read the tragic life stories here so I can empathize. Because I care deeply for any person who was a victim of a psychopath or is still involved with one. They deserve so much better in this life as we all do. And I am also saddened when I read that some of the peeps are suffering health problems, like Takingmeback and her bout with meningitis. How awful! Poor gal, my prayers are with you.
But I am also heartened and honored to read when the healing of the hearts, minds and spirits has started and each of you is reclaiming your identities, your passion, your confidence, your belief in yourselves. My own heart swells with glee, I tell ya!….haha.
Yes, it’s a long, arduous struggle/journey and it never ends until we take our very last breath but I share your joy in recovery. I share your new found peace, self respect and love. Love for yourselves, love for others and love for the world in which we live in.
We will endeavor to cast off the chains of tyranny, the chains of self doubt, the chains put upon us by the nastiest and evilest “people” among us.
As ML King so eloquently stated…”we shall overcome”…
That applies to any beautiful man or woman who has been ruthlessly and systematically abused and neglected.
This is our time to shine in the sun. This is our time to rise above the pain and suffering inflicted upon us and breathe deeply the cool, invigorating air of twilight. This is our time to live and be happy.
Peace, love and joy for all…..:)