True Lovefraud Stories, on Lovefraud.com, is a series of case studies illustrating how con artists and people who would probably be diagnosed as sociopaths ply their trade. Months, and sometimes years, have passed since these individuals were profiled. But according to updates we’ve heard, they’re still pulling their scams.
If you are still trying to believe that the predator you were involved with will see the light and change his or her behavior, read these stories. You’ll see that it’s not going to happen. Once a sociopath becomes an adult, he or she does not change.
Dennis SanSeverino
Since February, Trish Rynn, who lost her home and inheritance to Dennis SanSeverino, has been trying to hold him accountable. Back in 2006, SanSeverino pled guilty to theft by illegal retention, and was sentenced to five years probation. He was ordered to pay Rynn restitution of $275,000.
Well, he hasn’t been doing it, and Rynn has been trying to get SanSeverino prosecuted for violating his probation. The prosecutor’s office in Cape May County, New Jersey, wasn’t exactly interested in pursuing the case, but Rynn was persistent, and Judge Raymond Batten finally found him guilty of violating his probation. SanSeverino’s sentencing hearing was scheduled for September 26, 2008. He never showed up.
That day, SanSeverino’s latest girlfriend called the court and said SanSeverino was in the hospital. The judge didn’t buy it and issued a warrant for his arrest. But the con artist has apparently left the state, and authorities don’t seem to consider this case worth the time and expense of extradition.
Brian Ellington
Lovefraud has been hearing from all kinds of people about Brian Ellington. Apparently he’s been making the rounds of North Carolina golf courses, pretending to be a pro and betting $1,000 a hole. When he wins, he makes out. When he loses, he doesn’t pay. He also runs up bar tabs and leaves, forcing whoever had the misfortune of being the evening’s drinking buddy to foot the bill.
Then we got phone calls from someone with official connections saying that Elllington had been arrested in New York. He had a court appearance for a petit larceny charge scheduled for September 22, 2008, in the Bronx, but did not show up. A warrant was issued for his arrest. Ellington was also supposed to be in Manhattan court in August for a disorderly conduct charge, and we doubt showed up for that one either.
Phil Haberman
Lovefraud has written extensively about Phil Haberman, first profiled by the Dallas Observer as “G.I. Jerk.” Haberman married a woman before shipping off to Iraq so he could collect separation benefits from the military. When he got to Iraq he claimed special forces training, diving skills, medic training—yeah, right. The army shipped him back after 24 days.
Eventually, he received an Other Than Honorable discharge—his second one. Since then, however, he repeatedly tried to enlist in National Guard units that are shipping out to Iraq. His most recent attempt was last week in North Fort Hood, Texas—the largest active duty armored post in the United States. Commanders became suspicious of Haberman’s stories, and the man they asked to check Haberman out was already intimately familiar with the con artist’s scams. According to posts on ProfessionalSoldiers.com, Haberman was “shown the front gate of North Fort Hood and told to never come back.”
So what did Haberman do? He went to the Dallas JAG office and filed a complaint against the commander for kicking him out.
By the way, Haberman posted a video of himself during parachute training on YouTube.
Lance Larabee
Lance Larabee, who has conned women into buying him houses, boats and planes, has declared bankruptcy in an effort to avoid paying the judgments against him won by one of his victims, Debbie White. When White contested the bankruptcy, Larabee filed a claim against her for invasion of privacy. Apparently Larabee didn’t like what was written about him in Lovefraud and other places. Hearings are coming soon.
James Montgomery
I was contacted recently by a woman in Australia—my ex-husband, James Montgomery, is on About My Age in Australia, “The online community for over 50s.” Montgomery claims to be a “retired academic and screenwriter.” Yeah, right. This woman got suspicious about his Ph.D., Googled him, found Lovefraud and dumped him.
I checked out my ex-husband’s listing on AboutMyAge.com. He’s posted a photo that was taken in 1997, when he was married to me and was a guest on a local radio station, which is reproduced below.
When I first met Montgomery he lied to me about his age, claiming he was “a genuine baby boomer”—49 years old—when he was really 55. I wonder what he’s claiming now. Here is a current photo, taken in March, 2008. It is not posted on AboutMyAge.com.
Hi JaneSmith: I became a sponsor for a little 8 year old girl in Ecuador. She saved my life. The sweet little girl, she writes me letters and draws me pictures of her and her sister … and a pet. I asked her if it’s a dog or a cat (LOL). My luck, she’ll write me back and tell me it’s a goat … oh well, pets are unconditional love no matter what they are.
She makes me focus on how great kids that age can be, she loves math. Do you believe the generation gap … a little girl at the age of 8 loves math? How open and loving they are at that age and the world is just opening up for them.
It’s the best, best, best gift ever … and I never know when a letter and picture will arrive in the mail from her. No matter what I’m doing, I take time out to read what she writes me.
I’m glad you blogg in once in a while …. hey, send some of that sunshine to our new bloggers … they are at the beginning of this bumpy, bumpy ride.
Peace.
I have just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who has pulled over $12,000 from me. It all started out normal enough, she is a single mom with three children, and we were doing pretty well.
As I started pumping money out to get some things done for her, like securing a new place for them to move, suddenly several things came up where she needed more. Initially, I was more than willing, but it was like a hole that you just couldn’t fill. Then she lost her job…and stories became inconsistent. We went on a vacation in Las Vegas, and through some text messaging, I realized she was also seeing another man.
Total devestation.
After running a background check, I finally accepted what I was dealing with. I tried to keep my cool for awhile to get some documentation signed to cover the loans. Well, that is still not complete, I am hoping to not have to spend time in court.
Never having been in a situation anything like this, I can’t even begin to tell you how deeply it has affected me, but things are improving. At least I can sleep at night again. Amazingly (or maybe not), she is trying to blame me for all that has gone wrong. I am starting to write my first novel as a result of it.
This is a note for all to slow down and if anything doesn’t add up, check it out before you are in too deep. Fortunately for me, I caught on before it killed me, financially and emotionally.
DDear Justgotburned,
Welcome to Lovefraud, Donna Anderson’s wonderful site. Thanks for sharing your story as well.
Learning about psychopaths and how they operate and what goes on inside OUR heads that makes us fall for their LINE with the HOOK on the end.
It is a bumpy road to healing, but KNOWLEDGE=POWER, and POWER=PROTECTING OURSELVES but not letting it turn us into bitter untrusting angry people, but instead to be WISE and to ACT wise and CAUTIOUS.
Welcome, you will find people here who DO GET IT, who DO understand what being CONNED and worked over for our money, our this or our that. They are like vampires that “drink” our emotions and our lives (as well as money). God Bless.
justgotburned,
I lost about that much, too. I didn’t take out loans, but it came out of my savings (I had a divorce settlement) and my paychecks. And like you, it started out with an innocuous request to give him a loan when he couldn’t make his mortgage. It snowballed from there, and next thing you knew, I was paying for hotel rooms, plane tickets, expensive meals, new wardrobes, loaning him my spare car, a computer … I also “co-wrote” (better word: ghostwrote) a book for him to get him out of hot water with his “label,” and never got paid one dime. So he took my intellectual property too, and made a lot of money out of it. Continues to do so.
All because he gave me promise of a future together forever. It happens. You don’t think that is does … and you think that people would at least square things away when they want to break up or see other people. No. Not the case. I’m so sorry you went through this. Good thing that you did a background check … heaven only knows where it might have gone if you didn’t.
Wini-
That little girl sounds like a sweetheart. I have been meaning to sponsor a child overseas- thanks for the reminder. Yell your friend she’s helping others! She really brightened my day.
Tell!
holywatersalt: She is a healing gift, that’s for sure. I will never tell her about the circumstances in my life that lead me in her direction. The people who oversee the organization know. As for her, I just pay attention to what she writes me about her life, school, her friends, family. It’s the innocence of babes … that is so refreshing.
I write back to her how nice the day is, what my family, friends, pets are doing. All the niceties of life. Just two people connecting.
Since, I know that she, like most children, love to draw, I will be sending her down art supplies for her and her sister.
I do believe this is one of the best things that I’ve done in my life, including being on the elderly board and rescuing animals. Your heart just naturally expands.
Peace.
Too cool, Wini!!
I loved the comment about the mystery pet….haha. How absolutely adorable! Ok, now my ovaries are jumping….haha.
I’ve been wanting to sponser a child (or children) for years, but I wasn’t sure that the organization was reputable or not. Wanted to be totally sure that the money and gifts I send would be sent to the child and his/her family.
Do you think you can offer the name of the organization you’re working with? I would really, really, wish to help out also.
Like you and many others on LF, I have so much flippin love in my heart that if I don’t start spreading it around I’m going to explode!!…haha.
Thanks oodles for everything!….:)
justgotburned: sorry for your troubles with an s/p.
you wrote: “it was like a hole you just couldn’t fill.”
i call that the ‘hungry ghost’. in buddhism, i think it’s the lowest of the realms where these souls are insatiable for everything pleasurable: sex, money, power, possessions, etc. et al, ad nauseum.
that’s what i used to call my ex. the hungry ghost. no matter how much i gave him — of EVERYTHING — it was never enough. even before he had ‘consumed’ what i had given (and without thanks) he’d be on to the next thing he NEEDED.
incredible.
healing is here at LF. this blog literally saved my life.
i’m a professional editor. let me know if you need help with the book!
JaneSmith: I went onto the Net and put “charities” in the search engine.
Then I researched what these organizations were all about.
I picked “Compassion” because I was focused on that’s what I needed to work on in order to heal from my EXs and my bosses and all those that had something to do with destroying my life … as I knew it. So I went with that.
But, you’ll feel what is right for you … it will hit you what you are working on.
Notice all the names of the charities … it’s intense and the names will draw you to where you want to give/sponsor.
Peace.