True Lovefraud Stories, on Lovefraud.com, is a series of case studies illustrating how con artists and people who would probably be diagnosed as sociopaths ply their trade. Months, and sometimes years, have passed since these individuals were profiled. But according to updates we’ve heard, they’re still pulling their scams.
If you are still trying to believe that the predator you were involved with will see the light and change his or her behavior, read these stories. You’ll see that it’s not going to happen. Once a sociopath becomes an adult, he or she does not change.
Dennis SanSeverino
Since February, Trish Rynn, who lost her home and inheritance to Dennis SanSeverino, has been trying to hold him accountable. Back in 2006, SanSeverino pled guilty to theft by illegal retention, and was sentenced to five years probation. He was ordered to pay Rynn restitution of $275,000.
Well, he hasn’t been doing it, and Rynn has been trying to get SanSeverino prosecuted for violating his probation. The prosecutor’s office in Cape May County, New Jersey, wasn’t exactly interested in pursuing the case, but Rynn was persistent, and Judge Raymond Batten finally found him guilty of violating his probation. SanSeverino’s sentencing hearing was scheduled for September 26, 2008. He never showed up.
That day, SanSeverino’s latest girlfriend called the court and said SanSeverino was in the hospital. The judge didn’t buy it and issued a warrant for his arrest. But the con artist has apparently left the state, and authorities don’t seem to consider this case worth the time and expense of extradition.
Brian Ellington
Lovefraud has been hearing from all kinds of people about Brian Ellington. Apparently he’s been making the rounds of North Carolina golf courses, pretending to be a pro and betting $1,000 a hole. When he wins, he makes out. When he loses, he doesn’t pay. He also runs up bar tabs and leaves, forcing whoever had the misfortune of being the evening’s drinking buddy to foot the bill.
Then we got phone calls from someone with official connections saying that Elllington had been arrested in New York. He had a court appearance for a petit larceny charge scheduled for September 22, 2008, in the Bronx, but did not show up. A warrant was issued for his arrest. Ellington was also supposed to be in Manhattan court in August for a disorderly conduct charge, and we doubt showed up for that one either.
Phil Haberman
Lovefraud has written extensively about Phil Haberman, first profiled by the Dallas Observer as “G.I. Jerk.” Haberman married a woman before shipping off to Iraq so he could collect separation benefits from the military. When he got to Iraq he claimed special forces training, diving skills, medic training—yeah, right. The army shipped him back after 24 days.
Eventually, he received an Other Than Honorable discharge—his second one. Since then, however, he repeatedly tried to enlist in National Guard units that are shipping out to Iraq. His most recent attempt was last week in North Fort Hood, Texas—the largest active duty armored post in the United States. Commanders became suspicious of Haberman’s stories, and the man they asked to check Haberman out was already intimately familiar with the con artist’s scams. According to posts on ProfessionalSoldiers.com, Haberman was “shown the front gate of North Fort Hood and told to never come back.”
So what did Haberman do? He went to the Dallas JAG office and filed a complaint against the commander for kicking him out.
By the way, Haberman posted a video of himself during parachute training on YouTube.
Lance Larabee
Lance Larabee, who has conned women into buying him houses, boats and planes, has declared bankruptcy in an effort to avoid paying the judgments against him won by one of his victims, Debbie White. When White contested the bankruptcy, Larabee filed a claim against her for invasion of privacy. Apparently Larabee didn’t like what was written about him in Lovefraud and other places. Hearings are coming soon.
James Montgomery
I was contacted recently by a woman in Australia—my ex-husband, James Montgomery, is on About My Age in Australia, “The online community for over 50s.” Montgomery claims to be a “retired academic and screenwriter.” Yeah, right. This woman got suspicious about his Ph.D., Googled him, found Lovefraud and dumped him.
I checked out my ex-husband’s listing on AboutMyAge.com. He’s posted a photo that was taken in 1997, when he was married to me and was a guest on a local radio station, which is reproduced below.
When I first met Montgomery he lied to me about his age, claiming he was “a genuine baby boomer”—49 years old—when he was really 55. I wonder what he’s claiming now. Here is a current photo, taken in March, 2008. It is not posted on AboutMyAge.com.
All right, Wini, another Clint Eastwood fan! You win the bonus points.
I hope I can deal with this funk I’m in without anti-depressants, as I cannot afford them nor the copays for a psychiatrist. They never helped me in the past anyway. I’ve heard Lexipro is a good one. It also helps with anxiety.
The co-pays ARE expensive. I am ashamed to admit it but I’ve been on just about all of them.
Medication is NOT the “panecea” that fixes everything or “numbs” the pain, it doesn’t, it just corrects a chemical imbalance in our brains.
There are programs were those without insurnace etc can get some help and there are also cheaper meds than Lexapro. My medication has gone generic now and that helps keep the cost where I can afford it. Some of the older medications that work well are cheaper as well, and there are some psych medications on the Wal Mart $4 Rx plans. There is a BIG variation in prices from one chain to the next and there are some drugs available by mail from Canada that are cheaper than US drugs.
My Rx at Wal GReens was $184 a month genetic, at Wal Mart it is $114. I have to take it twice a day on generic instead of once (long acting) but no big deal I just have one of those pill minder boxes and keepit where I can’t miss seeing it.
Every time I go see my psychiatrist (every 3-4 months) she gives me a month’s worth of samples so that at least pays for my gas to go see her plus a little.
There are several generic antidepressants that are really cheap, and they might be ones that would work for you. It would be worth a shot anyway if you are depressed.
Even with “situational” depression for big losses, they will generally help even if taken for only several months. I think personally that a study would show that many of us were probably depressed before the P-encounter and that made us more vulnerable to the P attack in the first place.
I know I was depressed when I started dating the P, because I was suffering from PTSD after the aircraft crash that killed my husband. Made me a perfect “easy mark”—
My dose of antidepressant is now less than half of my maximum dose, and with my doc’s permission and consultation I may try to wean off of some of it next spring. I will do it slowly and cautiously and monitor my mood closely.
Since some people who are minimally bi-polar will present to a doctor when they are depressed and NOT when they are manic, sometimes it is difficult to distinguish the bi-polar person from a depressed person cause you dont’ see them when they are manic. Taking antidepressants only when you are bi-polar (and may not even know it) can throw you into a manic phase almost over night. Also some people who are severely depressed and don’t have enough energy to kill themselves will be Rx’d antidepressants and it will improve them enough that they GET THE ENERGY to KILL THEMSELVES, so with patients I was very careful to make sure that they were closely monitored by a therapist as well. I had a former foster child who was Rx’d antidepressants by his family doc and ended up “improving” enough to kill himself. It does happen, so it is not to be taken lightly at all. Also abruptly stopping medication can have adverse effects and throw you into a deeper depression.
If you and your health care provider determine to give it a try, keep in close contact with your provider and/or therapist and a good eye on your moods. Antidepressants take a while to “get to work” where you can tell a difference and it changes your moods slowly. The goal is so that you are not depressed but don’t even “feel” any effects of any kind with your medication.
I also think it is a good idea to keep a “mood diary” or journal of your moods so that you can look back and see changes. Since we tend to cycle up and down some any way, and if you have not reached menopause your cycles will influence your moods as well if you are a woman. The phases of the moon also seem to influence mood as well, and if you have ever worked in a psych hospital or a jail you can know when the moon is full without lookng out the window by how the “inmates” act.
I jsut personally think that we need to use ever avenue open to us to improve our health mentally and physically and to keep us on the road to healing and getting better. (((hugs)))) to you all
Henry~
healing takes different times for all of us. i dont get depressed, about him. sometimes i do get sad, and miss the image i thought i had. i dont miss the real him. i dont miss anything in that relationship. if i miss anything its only things i thought that i had but those things weret real. they where real for me but they weret for him, he was just putting on a show.
another thing for me is ive always been the type of when its over i let go. im not the one who will call my ex, or email them, or try to get them to see me. i just start moving on. if they dont want to treat me right or dont want to be with me then thats there lost, i am not wasting my time.
the thing with my x. it was over for a long time. he chipped away at my love for him little at a time. every time something would happen, it just wore at my love for him. i wast sure how to get him out of my life. at one point i loved that man so much. but that loved faded from all the drama he caused and the selfishness he has in himself.
anyways henry you will get though this. i promise. we all love you here. one day at a time. its good that he is gone, he is not good for you. one day you will meet someone who deserves you.
Stargazer-
I have been prescribed Celexa, which is sorta like lexapro, and it’s only $4 at walmart. Something to think about…
kerisee04. I believe that Celexa is a component of Lexapro. Thank you for mentioning that. Even with my new health ins. Lexapro is expensive.
I was thrilled when I found out how much the generic version of the Ambien was with my insurance. I take it because my insomnia began to get increasingly worse while I was with the S. I know it’s not supposed to be used long term but I just cannot get to sleep without it. Unfortunately I have a medical condition called Interstitial Cystitis where I can’t even drink tea to help relax me at night so it’s the only solution for me right now.
GF, you might try melatonin, it is an Over the Counter “hormone” like medication that is similar to the natural melatonin (which helps us sleep) our body makes.
It helps me and my psychiatrist also uses it instead of the Ambien. Google “sleep hygine” and get some more ideas from the net. The study of sleep, the different stages, how our anxieties work or don’t work with it, and how exercise, body rhytumn and time of year (amount of sunlight we get) all play into sleeping or not, and how restful our sleep is as well. Because I have severe sleep apnea and anxiety and grief totally wipes out my sleep cycle, and I am natural nocturnal too (awake at night) I worked nights for years because of this and have no problem day time sleeping.since I was a small child I have had trouble going to sleep and gettin gup in the mornings. Each person has their own “cycle” and actually I guess the one I am on now is probably my “natural” one, I go to sleep between midnight and 2, awake about 9 a.m. No sleep aids (medications) except the occasional melatonin or an asprin for “old joint pain” from doing too much.
I exercise quite a bit, mostly working and walking, and my stress level has decreased 99% so sleep is markedly improved.
Without sufficient sleep we are unable to heal, think, recover…in prisoner of war camps sleep deprivation is a frequently used “torture” and believe me it IS A TORTURE. After I found out my son killed the girl he was arrested for murdering, I did not sleep for 14 days straight, and at the end of that time I was “babbling”–after a few days of no sleep you can even hallucinate or be “insane”–out of touch with reality completely or partly.
Lack of sleep, coupled with stress and other problems that we have all experienced takes a toll on our bodies, minds, and spirits as well as our immune system.
Bottom line–take care of yourself in every way possible, diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, or anything else you can think of to pamper yourself. YOU deserve it!
I think I need to get out more. I need to take a dance class or just start going out and doing stuff. I haven’t even danced in my living room since forever, and I love to dance. I’m in a rut, and I feel isolated. I have many friends, but I don’t feel like I can really share a lot of what I’m going through with them. So it’s just easier being alone or on the internet. I have so many wonderful internet friends. But that doesn’t get me out of the house. I’ve just kind of been imploding on myself this week. It’s not healthy. One day at a time. Tomorrow, I will get some exercise. I do think it will help.
stargazer:
The background check did show one criminal (drug) conviction from the mid nineties
The main things were financial, none good
Tons of address changes
Some interesting things with possible associates
Sorry if that is all kind of vague, but I don’t really think I can share too much detail in an open forum like this.
Stargazer,
You sound like me. I wish some of us were in the same area. I used to be heavy into salsa dance about 6 years ago (so much so I attended the Worldwide Salsa Congress in Puerto Rico). I literally come into my condo and head straight to my bedroom (where my laptop) is and either am on the computer or watching dvds on my laptop. I have a few friends but either I can’t share what’s happened with them, they’ve basically heard enough.
It’s hard for me to push myself to do anything outside of work and sometimes when I do force myself to go out I’m just as miserable.