What sociopaths want: power, control and sex

The two most recent Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.

Read the letters here:

I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day

I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated

Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all those wonderful things and not mean them? How could a man who talked so eloquently about love be lying? How could a man paint such a beautiful picture of the future and then discard me? Was there something wrong with me? Wasn’t I sexy enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?

Both women tried to get answers from the men. The men, however, never admitted the true reason that they did what they did:

They wanted to.

Core of a sociopath

Sometimes it’s hard for us to get our minds around how truly different sociopathic individuals are from the rest of us. This is understandable. After all, 96% to 99% of people are like us—capable of love and consideration.

But that 1% to 4% who are sociopaths—well, they might as well be aliens. These people:

• Feel no empathy at all towards other human beings
• Have no conscience
• Are interested only power, control and sex

This is the core of a sociopath—no empathy, no conscience and desiring only power, control and sex.

Implications

So what does this mean? It means sociopaths feel entitled to take what they want, regardless of how their actions may damage others. It means they get no satisfaction from connectedness with others, they only get satisfaction from winning. It means sociopaths view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators and everyone else is prey.

This is shocking. Mind-blowing. Impossible to understand.

So we cannot try to understand. We can only accept. This is how they are.

They do not want us as lovers, partners, friends or family members. They want power, control and sex.