The two most recent Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.
Read the letters here:
I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day
I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated
Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all those wonderful things and not mean them? How could a man who talked so eloquently about love be lying? How could a man paint such a beautiful picture of the future and then discard me? Was there something wrong with me? Wasn’t I sexy enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?
Both women tried to get answers from the men. The men, however, never admitted the true reason that they did what they did:
They wanted to.
Core of a sociopath
Sometimes it’s hard for us to get our minds around how truly different sociopathic individuals are from the rest of us. This is understandable. After all, 96% to 99% of people are like us—capable of love and consideration.
But that 1% to 4% who are sociopaths—well, they might as well be aliens. These people:
- Feel no empathy at all towards other human beings
- Have no conscience
- Are interested only power, control and sex
This is the core of a sociopath—no empathy, no conscience and desiring only power, control and sex.
Implications
So what does this mean? It means sociopaths feel entitled to take what they want, regardless of how their actions may damage others. It means they get no satisfaction from connectedness with others, they only get satisfaction from winning. It means sociopaths view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators and everyone else is prey.
This is shocking. Mind-blowing. Impossible to understand.
So we cannot try to understand. We can only accept. This is how they are.
They do not want us as lovers, partners, friends or family members. They want power, control and sex.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hens – can’t miss ’em. coming or going. 🙂
erin1972
Hens-Hey.I don’t blame any guy for not liking his mom cuz I sure as hell don’t like mine.
hens
thanx Erin72 – it took me most of my life to flee from her…
erin1972
It took me my whole life until a few months ago to flee from mine too. I was the oldest of five and she kept me locked away and with her constantly. She was so controlling and was always spanking me and really religious too-reminded me of the mother from the movie Carrie-just not as bad. She wasn’t blatantly evil. She would be nice. She humiliated me and my sibs still hold anger against me because they wanted her attention and was jealous that I got all of it. The whole time, I wanted her to get the hell away. I didn’t even call her on Mother’s Day. My daddy said-I hope ya’ll get that worked out and I said-NO. I am way less stressed w/o her. My sibs wanted her and not they can have her-I’m out!
ErinBrock
Hey….easy there….don’t let my boyz here this!!!
Maryjane
Did this thread go wacko or what? LOL….
I have a sister that is that ‘evil’ energy.. she used to do things when we were little.. like track snow through my younger sister’s room just after the maid left and Mom had said, leave your boots outside… and when Mom got angry at the innocent sister.. the ‘evil’ sister had this look on her face.. and I was watching from the upper stairs and I told Mom what really occurred.. the ‘evil’ sister is a practicing psychologist, had an affair with my first husband when I was nice enough to offer her a home until she found her own place after college.. She so wanted to live where I was.. Yeah, right!
Then when I revealed the what occurred the family turned on me.. but then this ‘evil sister’ had affairs with other married men and even one of her clients and she almost lost her license to practice… as the couple was going to her for marital counseling.. sooo.. geez….. I guess, I was telling the truth all along…
yep.. she was born a bit off… and she gives me the creeps when I look at her.. at my mother’s funeral .. a girlfriend went with me and she was observing and she told me the way the ‘evil’ sister glared at me.. if looks could kill I would be dead..
And this ‘evil’ sister.. is way into religion now.. the whole thing is freaky..
I am glad that I don’t live in the same town.. I would be more insane than I am now… yaa ha ha…..
Jeanne
I want to apologize for the comment I made earlier about not dating men who don’t like their mothers. It was thoughtless of me to say that in the context of this blog. What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn’t.
Ox Drover
DearJeanne, I appreciate your apology, but you know what, I bet’ya there was no one here offended! We’re a pretty open group and take offense at very little. Actually, I think if you were looking at a potential date how he got along with or didn’t with his mother might be something to look at. My own egg donor is not someone I would want to date her son (if she had one) as I would suspect he might have some problems if he DID get along with her!~ LOL
Twice Betrayed
Jeanne, I don’t think you meant anything wrong about it. I felt you meant that many of them tend to transfer that anger onto their current spouse/girlfriend? Am I correct?
Both my PX’s were/are mama worshippers. Both macho types on the exterior, but crybabies still tied to their mothers’ apron strings, underneath the macho facade.
ErinBrock
jeanne:
From what I’ve learned about Cluster B personality disordered peeps is…..there just are no rules.
No ‘recipe’ to any of them…..
They all have similarities in traits and backgrounds…..but just no hard fast indentifiers.
As a ‘rule’….I would prefer a man I get involved with to have a great family life……BUT I DON”T. So where does that leave me…..the pot calling the kettle black.
I could continue to fake it with my family and they’d take me ‘back’ in a heartbeat. But it’s ME who won’t fake it anymore…..I don’t want THEM.
I choose to surround myself with only genuine peeps…who mean well and are honest with me…..even if I don’t ‘like’ what they have to say…..but they have my best interest or friendship at heart. Key….best interest, not spite, control or their own shame issues.
I guess I would want to investigate the ‘why’ he isn’t close with mamma……and draw my own conclusion….
Some of us didn’t have great mothers……but the spath also hated and portrayed his mothers (both of them) as horrid torturing terrorists……(they were NOT as I found out much later)….
So…..who knows what the ‘recipe’ is…..I think our gut would certainly tell us when it’s time!
I think of all the things I would like in a partner……and so much now, I can’t offer. Health, family, security, no stalking ex’s, no drama…….
Ha…..gotem all!
so where does it leave me……SINGLE!
HA!
🙂