The two most recent Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.
Read the letters here:
I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day
I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated
Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all those wonderful things and not mean them? How could a man who talked so eloquently about love be lying? How could a man paint such a beautiful picture of the future and then discard me? Was there something wrong with me? Wasn’t I sexy enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?
Both women tried to get answers from the men. The men, however, never admitted the true reason that they did what they did:
They wanted to.
Core of a sociopath
Sometimes it’s hard for us to get our minds around how truly different sociopathic individuals are from the rest of us. This is understandable. After all, 96% to 99% of people are like us—capable of love and consideration.
But that 1% to 4% who are sociopaths—well, they might as well be aliens. These people:
- Feel no empathy at all towards other human beings
- Have no conscience
- Are interested only power, control and sex
This is the core of a sociopath—no empathy, no conscience and desiring only power, control and sex.
Implications
So what does this mean? It means sociopaths feel entitled to take what they want, regardless of how their actions may damage others. It means they get no satisfaction from connectedness with others, they only get satisfaction from winning. It means sociopaths view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators and everyone else is prey.
This is shocking. Mind-blowing. Impossible to understand.
So we cannot try to understand. We can only accept. This is how they are.
They do not want us as lovers, partners, friends or family members. They want power, control and sex.
silvermoon and others too thanks….i’ll check out that book…it sounds good….getting out is a process and it takes time and help and support….or a good therapist…its hard depending on the situation but there is definitely a way…..for every situation…the key is knowing that way….for sure…and yes its true not everyone agrees on everything….in most things in life…forums like thes are good to help anyone dealing with rough situations with sp’s…
what about the cat?????????????
the black magic stuff…yes the sp is a witch/warlock energy vampire I had written it in previous posts…yes a lot of sp’s are really evil and are demonic in nature by their very natures and presences…some more extreme than others…but this one is something ie witch/vampire and leeches my energy and have been told by many healers and people he’s using me for my energy…stealing it etc….and some epople dont know about psi vampirism and the real stuff…not just random people who drain you by their annoyances…but this person astral projector and other bizarre things….warlock for sure in the sense of outcast because he does severe black magic…tortures his victims and puts them in severe pain….and will laugh or in a possessed state spew “watch out for the FULL MOON it’s where your PAIN comes from”. and made many projection references to voodoo dolls and needles…and tons of other things…but for them it is a cruel sadistic game where they use their victims like puppets literally to torture….he will put me in pain and torture for fun and laugh about it….or claim i pissed him off….and i mean energy pain..he also projects energy..but he can just do it…like a type of mind control…honed in his abilities too… he does spells too…probably love or lust ones……also does voodoo or something.. also stalks victims psychically..ie he knows what youre doing where you’re at…without being physically present and no cameras or any way…knows what u did, what u said…what ur thinking…what someone just bought you, where you’re at..(long story associated with all that too)…from the beginning i knew what he was but not to the extent in which he does these things….but why u cant leave b/c he has u in his control…torturing u in this way….and for them its total control….and claims he owns u and ur soul….also will try to lure you to his place in this way….through witchcraft… its not just the idea of….well…hes an evil entity with a bad presence…dealing with the sp’s who delve in the metaphysical is scary…especially the nature of what their victims have to suffer….they are puppets being tortured/controlled…they pull the strings and make u call them want them so they can keep rejecting you… its all a sick sadistic game….people who haven’t been victims wouldnt understand…. but there aer many out there….its just the element of sociopathy but with energetic abilities involved…more power and control for the sp and more suffering for the victims. they do believe they own their victims… and can torture them how they want….and are very extreme about it and causing them suffering….
You have such extreme insight into the mind of the sociopath.
shabbychic: lol about the cat thing….want to write something about that…but too creepy and insane…i mean even something the sp said recently made me cringe….where are these crazy sick twisted people from its just so scary
worse part is just meeting and knowing they exist…. better to never have met or known them…..
Melanie-this is the last post that I’m going to direct to you on this subject. I feel very very sorry for you. I know you are going through something horrible and I know from personal experience how bad this is. I have been a magnet for sociopaths. It’s been a little over a year since he discarded me and it’s the greatest gift I could have received. If he hadn’t, I would probably still be with him and allowing him to disrespect me and treat me in a way that I DO NOT deserve to be treated. I know you are a virgin-you have mentioned it several times.
When I was 21, my first sociopath raped me and TOOK my virginity. I cannot understand how you could want this man to have the greatest gift you have to give. My recent ex was the one who broke my heart. He was my first true love of my life. In the beginning of the relationship, before I knew he was an S/N, and his mask was still on, I was wishing that my virginity was his. Now, I thank God for the rape because if he had been my first, I would be in the psych ward right now-totally useless, instead of someone who’s healing. I am doing everything to bring my self esteem back. Your spath is NOT worthy of having your virginity.
I LET myself be disrespected for a year. I LET myself be lied to. I LET myself be with a man who never had any intention of being anything but a part time lover for me. I LET myself forget about the fact that I was brought up knowing that being with him was wrong-because he was married. I LET myself. After 3 years of being with your spath, you are LETTING yourself be treated like shit, disrespected, and used. As a “pretty, young girl, who’s a virgin”, you are LETTING yourself be made out to be crazy. You are wasting your life with this man. Why would someone like you, who has a lot to offer a good man, continue to waste your time and self respect waiting on a man who seems to be a worthless POS? Don’t you know that he could put your life in danger by having sex with you? Think about it-if he is out having sex with anybody and everybody, including random nasty women that you described, do you honestly think he’s using protection? I think not.
I am not trying to be ugly to you. I am 37 and have recently had my life destroyed by this man who claimed to want to be with me forever. He and I were having unprotected sex because we were “in love” and he promised that he would never have sex with anyone but me for the rest of his life. His wife told me that he wouldn’t touch her. Their relationship was about money and status. When I found out that he had shacked up with other women while out of town for work, and came home to my bed to have unprotected sex with me, I was not only betrayed, but scared that I may have a disease. Thank God nothing has shown up so far. You are putting your life at risk with this man. You should thank God that he doesn’t have sex with you. You do not know where that thing has been.
Once, again-I am not trying to be cruel and ignorant or mean to you. I am not trying to be condescending. It makes me feel bad that a young pretty girl with a lot to offer doesn’t have the respect for herself to want only the very best for herself. It breaks my heart to see that. I wish I could hug you right now. I am able to feel for people in your situation-I guess that’s what made me such a target for years-but NOT ANYMORE!. I’m SO SORRY for what you’re going through and I hope you realize your true worth soon.
well its easy to say words…that are true but none of that matters…as im trapped in a situation beyond my control…of course an N is not worthy of someones virginity….but when there is heavy psych torture brainwashing and elements like this involved…none of that matters…u can talk yourself into 100 different things…in the end… all the psych horror has taken over and worse the elements of torture deprivation extreme deprivation black magic…. i dont have a part time lover….or a boyfriend….and that is not true that im allowing him to treat me badly….awful statements misconception….that people say to unfortunate victims….. to claim the girl doesnt have respect for herself is ridiculous…simply b/c u didnt and also that is an untrue statement..again some people dont know what they are talking about… also many are trapped in situations beyond their control…..just because ‘you’ were a target for those reasons doesnt mean others are….for the same……also most victims are broken down and brainwashed….mostly beyond their level of being able to do much about it…..some can and some can’t..makes me feel bad that a young pretty girl with a lot to offer doesn’t have the respect for herself to want only the very best for herself. It breaks my heart to see that–no in fact i want tthe bset for myself so im not sure what ur talking about….those are erroneous claims…….im a victim of a sadist only and being used to torture beyond my control…….im not a girlfriend, im not ‘with’ the guy…im stuck in a situation that is far beyond my control at this point as it is many years deep of heavy elments of abnormal things ….its like being trapped in a cage almost….but youre not really….and there are no ‘targets’ for sp’s….sp’s choose people who are good people nice caring kind etc…. if u were dating a married man…that actually shows YOU had no respect for yousrelf….and no care for other people’s sacred bonds…and u shouldnt be surprised that hes out with other women…if hes cheating on his wife…..women who get with married men are the ones who lack self respect.. they go into relationships with people who are in one and are shocked the person is a narcissist and sociopath and treats them badly..or cheats…what do u expect..you had no respect for yourself, for his wife for anyone…..and im sorry that u did but dont tell people who aer stuck in horrific situations that they do or are allowing it……that is the most untrue statement ever, or that they lack self respect…once again for all the people who’ve been through it but dont quiet get it yet—sp’s break people down beyond their control so they can torture them.. and so the person cant leave and they can keep doing it…this has absoltely nothing to do wtih a person’s self esteem…initially..or even overall depending on the situation….it’s what the elements of abuse and sociopathy are…and they do so in extreme and very cruel ways…that’s how they get their victims to not be able to leave them…and that is just in a general context…of abuse…not with the context of the ‘paranormal’ involved which of course most people will not believe in but i really dont care as that is the situation im in….u were not in the same situation as me…..and its hard to talk….. as every situation varies…and its easy for people to say for the umpteenth time…hey get up and leave…oh wow ur not leaving…u dont respect yourself…you’re allowing this! trust me….no one allows to be treated lower than trash…or wants it–maybe ‘some’ people do…but most don’t…..and again im not in a relationship with a man- i persnoally am not a girlfriend, not with the person….there is no relationship there is nothing…there is a sadist who is mind torturing a female long distance and ‘that’ is my situation…..my situation is that of being a victim of an extreme sadist….who delves in heavy withcraft….and i do everything i can to fight it….but in the end im still the sp’s vicitm…. that until something gives, he gives up…..i move or something drastic happens… u hope i realize my true worth….. ?? oh so because im suffering or are a victim i feel i dont deserve any better? that is wrong untrue FALSE…..just a stupid statement….i have tons of self esteem and self worth…so u assume that people who are victims of heavy brainwashing black magic, rape victims or jsut victims overall lack self worth—hey that is so not true….im sorry u think that way but that is false and i hope u change your way of thinking along with many other people out there who haven’t a clue.. of course i know i or any person are deserving of good…. i dont know why you people make these weird blanket statements. which are so not true!….and making statements that are untrue but more talking about what you used to be…..the things i write are meant to describe the awful experiences im going thru with a sp….not be told again and again by ignorant clueless females that i have no respect for myself, and things they know nothing about- maybe that is how YOU felt about yourself, but not me…and not everyone…….i feel more sad for you that u were the one who lacked that respect for yoursef, but dont tell others they don’t….based on what u did or felt….yes u are being condescending but i hope it is just from lack of knowledge or ignorance….as many people seem to be these days… but i would think that you or others had a little more intellect or insight rather than making just blanket ignorant statements designed to make the victim look like soem clueless idiot who lacks self respect….again every sitaution is different….and every person is different so dont judge who people are based on what u think u know…b/c unfortunately u reallly dont know much…. well i was with a married man….adn….he cheated on me…i had no rsepect for myself, i allowed it…. well yeah u allowed it….in that case u did allow it??? if that was the case…
hey im stuck in a situation with someone doing black magic on me, stalking me, without evenbeing in my presence…he is obsessed with torturing me….and years of torture that is a trap that i cannot get out of that i fight and resist daily that i do everything to fight….im a victim literally….im not even in the presence of the person….there is absolutely no relationship…there is a maniac who is obsessed with torturing controlling a ‘victim/puppet’ long distance and they make sure to assert their power and abuse in ways that leave the person floored.. no im not allowing it….in fact im doing everything i can to try to fight it and get away from it as much as i can….im fighting it daily….so no not allowing it by any means, nor do i lack self respect, or like it…or have no self esteem…just in a battle trying to survive and deal with it..
I have to water my plants. They’re beginning to wilt. :/
Dear ERin1972,
I am so glad that you are “getting it” now and on the road to healing! Your post sounds so SELF AFFIRMING and I am jumping up and down for joy at the progress you have made since you came here! ((((hugs)))))
Erin1972, I agree with OxD. This may sound really weird, but I get a bit weepy when I see such a positive direction in someone’s healing. What’s THAT all about?
Brightest blessings, Erin1972! You are a gem!