The two most recent Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.
Read the letters here:
I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day
I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated
Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all those wonderful things and not mean them? How could a man who talked so eloquently about love be lying? How could a man paint such a beautiful picture of the future and then discard me? Was there something wrong with me? Wasn’t I sexy enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?
Both women tried to get answers from the men. The men, however, never admitted the true reason that they did what they did:
They wanted to.
Core of a sociopath
Sometimes it’s hard for us to get our minds around how truly different sociopathic individuals are from the rest of us. This is understandable. After all, 96% to 99% of people are like us—capable of love and consideration.
But that 1% to 4% who are sociopaths—well, they might as well be aliens. These people:
- Feel no empathy at all towards other human beings
- Have no conscience
- Are interested only power, control and sex
This is the core of a sociopath—no empathy, no conscience and desiring only power, control and sex.
Implications
So what does this mean? It means sociopaths feel entitled to take what they want, regardless of how their actions may damage others. It means they get no satisfaction from connectedness with others, they only get satisfaction from winning. It means sociopaths view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators and everyone else is prey.
This is shocking. Mind-blowing. Impossible to understand.
So we cannot try to understand. We can only accept. This is how they are.
They do not want us as lovers, partners, friends or family members. They want power, control and sex.
yep, as long as you keep it cold. the tetra packs wouldn’t have to be refrig until opened.
you’ll know if it goes off. 😉
yes i agree i need support and help anyone does…..but not everyone can just get it…..being tortured by a sociopath or any abuser…is a horrific situation…getting help isnt easy people arent always willing to help out others unfortunately…for me well its something im going to attempt to bear with until maybe the sp might be willing to help but the bad part is that when you are down…and they have u in this position they get more extreme with the abuse- and even may go to worse extremes….its just scary but im sure i can fight through it somehow but going thru non-stop torture is hard….ie with energy vampire/energy type witch people the malicious ones that do this …yes there are ways of protecting urself…but i dont know of them or someone who is so intent on doing what he is doing….its just hard…i once ha da counselor who had been thru teh same with a priest and she learned tai chi to protect herself….but not with someone like this i think plus i have dealt with an e vampire person before….who did the same….but we had never met so it was easier to get away or break ties but i did have to go thru some really really bad things and it was severe hell , never in my worst nightmare did i think i’d meet another one…this one is different…and he has more control b/c he has more abilities and access to my hair, pictures etc….and he is on a mission to destroy me and just so malicious sick and twisted….its just scary but helped me learn that i need to get away when i can asap and break ties as soon as that is possible…. and how cruel dangerous and destructive this person is and malicious and his true intentions … but yes every victim goes thru extreme horror with sp’s n’s etc….in diff ways….
medical professionals dont help with black magic and im not looking for anyone’s help…im just looking to talk or vent…and…i dont think anyone would be able to help anyway…healers can help with black magic but i dont trust them enough or know of anyone trustworthy to put my situation in their hands as many are malicious too and just like the person you’re trying to get help for dealing with and they can do damage to people and cause more problems…
yes learning im ‘stuck’ in a situation….being currently stuck does not mean permanently stuck….why are u psychoanalyzing every detail i write….not to be rude but….thats also an expression people use…….yes people are addicted to sp’s, narcs abusers….but every addiction situation is different….yeah abusers manipulate brainwash harass shock traumatize etc….but again in various contexts…I definitely know I will get away ’eventually’ everyone does”but not everyone is looking to get away, until something drastic happens, such as something like this or until people have experienced extremes with an abuser….and its not that I don’t have hope, its just that the sp put me in a major crisis mode”for no real reason at all”and he is suddenly torturing me excessively”and I wasn’t sure why”it began about two months ago and as things were ’ok’ not that he wasn’t abusing me horribly”he suddenly began a new phase of this extreme stuff that was different from his usual and unpredictable”and not only that but horribly painful”so it threw me off as they want it to”throw u off but again for no real reason”with the new torture began more and more”and it left me in a phase of severe suffing to an unbearable nightmarish point”or maybe the N lost control of their life and wanted to torture the victim more…or maybe u dont know what, but you are the one who is suffering…and the only one who can stop it is the N…or the N had a plan…as they always do and it was part of their ‘plan’…or just a new tactic to further screw with the victim and jsut a new control game…whatever it was it has been severe and too extreme… and just so so bad….When an N changes their pattern of abuse”from predictable to suddenly”destabilizing unpredictable horror”of course its designed to cause the victim to feel more out of control”.and cling harsher to the narcissist but again in this case”I couldn’t cling to the N”.just suffer”and wasn’t sure and still am not sure why he is doing these tactics and putting me in such crisis and not even caring to help out and torturing the victim more.”since I never imagined he cud be ’that’ cruel”also the focus on the N sinks and deepens to new levels too so getting away during a crisis point when the N is attempting to assert extreme levels of control or torture on their victim, is not possible or healthy…it’s healthier to get back to the level of ‘stabilization’ and normal after severe suffering or that crisis and then figure out ways to get out…well it helped me learn the lesson of once that is over if it ever is to get away or cut ties”but it is scary to have to go through and nightmarish on another level and in this case…well just something i had never been through with this sp so then my entire world shattered, which is wht they want to do…and for what reason youre not really sure of…because the N always has a motive reason for their abuse…and sometimes its just to ensnare more control over teh victim, and really lock and seal in that control to new levels…
the whole concept of abuse uses that term toxic in a really stupid way-people label abuse…and they undermine cruelty and torment and label it under ‘unhealthy’….or other things….narcissists and sp’s aren’t toxic they are lethal or poisonous and extremely dangerous and people need to get away and yes cut all ties…. but thats also not the answer or solution to go around telling everyone…..ie what most people do….its the right advice but it’s the end of what is the process of getting away…it’s like saying well run that mile and cross the finish line, what people are spewing is, cross the finish line….when u havent even gotten there… getting away from an sp and cutting ties is a process….for some it may be easier because they can cut ties by leaving a situation though even leaving a situation takes time….or doign something of that nature and for others its a lot different…so for everyone it varies… for people who use that as the only solution some vague repetitive phrase, well its pointless and thats all it is an unhelpful vague repetitive meaningless phrase….getting away from an SP….is not no contact….it is a lot more than that…and for many its undoing years of severe psych hell brainwash trauma…being the victim of an sp u were a punching bag for a very cruel sadist….and to detox yourself of the horrors that person did to you…well–it is not just a one or 12 step thing..some people have to get to the step of being able to have no contact…once they are there then they have to go through the painful process of detoxing from the all the damage of trauma and pain the sp did to the person…it is cleansing your soul and being and it is a painful and difficult process to go through…
Melanie:
Your use of adjectives is astonishing. You double and triple them up to ‘get your very explicit’ highly dramatic point made.
What do you want?
You seem addicted to drama, you like the drama and only YOU can stop the drama. PERIOD! YOUR acting as YOUR OWN energy vampire.
We at LF have experienced the pain and the journey…..yours is NO more or less important…..it’s just yours. You will not be successful at sucking anything out of the posters here……so….now what dear, you’ve built your own brick wall.
If you choose to ‘hang on’ to your ‘story’…..you will NEVER heal. I suggest YOU re-write your future and guide it in a healthier direction.
Until then……your encouraging the treatment your recieving.
Your asking the universe to provide this negativity for you……by giving it creedance and validation. It’s hogwash!
In your postings about your ‘life’, you are pinging around in a triangle….ping-ping-ping….off all corners…….at some point, your gonna be tired and bruised and you’ll figure this out on your own.
Until then……ping away girlfriend…..it sounds to me like your enjoying it all!
Good luck…..and when you figure out what we can do to support you, without you lashing out and spinning around, …..Hey….let us know.
In the meantime….I suggest a highly skilled Psychiatrist in your area to sort this through. It’s more than Black Magic darlen, much more.
Good luck to you, you seem like you are in a lot of turmoil.
XXOO
EB
E72:
You sound like your in a good place. It was wonderful to read your empowering post!
It’s a looongg process…..with hills and valley’s….but it’s good to hear your taking care of #1!
Always remember who’s important….It’s YOU darlen!!!!
Congratulations on your ‘climb’……you sound really good!!!!
XXOO
EB
Melanie (or, is it Melissa99?), this will be the last post that I specifically address to you.
I have read and re-read your posts. I echo ErinBrock’s comments 100%.
You want to vent, ONLY? Venting is good therapy, but only when used in conjunction with other techniques. For me, this site is a HEALING place as well as a venting arena. You are not interested in doing anything other than typing the word, “torture,” as many times as you can and it has grown tiresome to watch the attempts of others to SUPPORT and HELP you be returned as a virtual slap in their faces.
The support and encouragement that people have demonstrated with regard to YOUR predicament has not only been ignored, but RIDICULED – you have RIDICULED their Survival AND their individual concern for you. You have attempted to MINIMIZE the experiences of the Survivors on this site who have reached out to help you!
Instead of expressing gratitude that anyone even CARES about your “torture,” you slap each responding member in the face with more drama/trauma. It definitely appears to me that you prefer attention and sympathy rather than support, encouragement, or suggestions. And, that is YOUR CHOICE, Melanie.
I can empathize with your predicament, but I will not allow you to minimize MY SURVIVAL from horrors that do not involve long-distance “black magic,” but hands-on, up-close-and-personal, in-your-face physical abuse. No, ma’am. You are NOT allowed to minimize MY SURVIVAL.
So, I am exercising MY CHOICE to IGNORE any future posts that you make. I will not allow ANYONE to get my blood pressure up, especially someone who is only interested in generating Online Drama.
Best wishes to you, Melanie. I hope you get help for yourself, soon.
Erin 1972/One-step –
Coconut Water! Wow !!!! Why didnt I ever think of that! Especially for my diabetic son!!! Im going out and getting us some today 🙂 Reading about it, there is of course natural sugars and some talk about high sodium but from what Ive read so far the benefits are tremendous! Really really good for you. They do recommend staying away from pasteurized coconut water…but Im thrilled to have learned about this option. Thanks One-step!
Learning, there are super healing properties in coconuts and their by-products! I pull with coconut oil and it whitens my teeth and (in theory) removes heavy-metal toxins.
Completely off-topic, I know. 😉
Buttons,
Have a beautiful and peaceful day. Ive started a big project of buiding a peace garden out back. I have several huge dead trees that have not survived the past few winters and particularly took a heavy hit this summer, practically knocking them tumbling to the ground from the the weight of the snow , and unfortunately with pruning and tying them up, they have not bounced back and the landscaper is here today to remove them as they pose a danger. So Im building a trellis in that area, and going to use my Sears card (which I havent used in nearly 5 years — and Im treating/splurging on outdoor comfy furniture and plantings and a firepit and making my own peaceful sanctuary to retreat to especially in the evenings… its such an exciting project for me! The only thing I have to adjust to , is now seeing straight through to my neighbors windows… the trees were placed here by the original owners years ago for privacy..but I figure once Im in my peace garden I wont even notice the neighbors at all 🙂
Have a great day!
buttons –
‘I pull with coconut oil and it whitens my teeth’ what does this mean?