Before sunrise on September 11, 2001, my rowing partner, Mary, and I, were already on the water for our morning workout. As darkness imperceptibly gave way to light, the bay was calm, the air was clear—an absolutely beautiful day dawned. We glided past herons and egrets, enjoying the quiet peace of Nature.
A couple of hours later, I was driving to a 10 a.m. meeting when I heard something on the car radio about a small plane crashing into the World Trade Center in New York City. By the time I reached my client’s office, all of her co-workers were standing around a radio. Both towers of the World Trade Center were hit, and the announcers were talking about a terrorist attack.
“What do you want to do?” I asked my client. Neither one of us knew the office protocol for terrorist attacks.
“I guess we’ll have the meeting,” she said.
So we did. But from the expansive plate glass windows in her conference room, I had a clear view of the flight paths into Atlantic City International Airport, which was about eight miles away, right in the middle of the busy Northeast corridor. Jet after jet was landing. None were taking off.
I rushed home after the meeting and turned on the television, shocked at the images that played over and over on the screen. A huge jet, loaded with fuel, crashing into the tallest building in New York. One tower fell, then the other. It was horrifying.
Was my family safe? One brother had an office in Lower Manhattan. My other brother was managing a construction project at Newark International Airport. My sister had flown to Hawaii a few days earlier. Gradually, when cell phone calls finally went through, I learned that my family was okay.
Thousands of other people weren’t so lucky.
Thousands of other people, through no fault of their own, had their lives ripped apart. People on their way to important destinations, people starting their day at work, were suddenly gone. The people who loved them were left to ask why.
Why did this happen? What had they done wrong? What did I do wrong? How am I going to survive?
They clung to hope, and then there was none.
I knew what that felt like.
A year earlier, I was forced to give up hope. I had been pursuing my $1.25 million judgment against my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. I was convinced I would find the money, and it would right my life that had been so wronged.
Before meeting my ex, I had been going to work every day, having fun when I could, and hoping, along the way, to make a romantic connection. James Montgomery presented himself as the love of my life. In truth, he was a terrorist who intentionally crashed into everything I had built, and brought it down.
I was outraged. I was an upstanding, responsible human being. I had done many things right and nothing wrong, yet my life was ripped to shreds.
I sought justice. The court said I was right, and the judge in my divorce awarded me everything that was taken from me—$227,000—plus $1 million in punitive damages. I pursued the money until 2000, when I had no choice but to admit failure. I was not going to recover what I had lost.
I collapsed. I raged. I demanded answers from God. What had I done to deserve this?
On September 11, 2001, and in the following traumatic days, I couldn’t breathe. I viscerally felt the nation’s collective horror. I knew the outrage, the confusion, the fear, the hope and then the hopelessness. I felt like I was reliving how my own life had crashed, magnified by a hundred, or perhaps a thousand.
A couple of weeks after the devastating tragedy, I wrote a poem. It was all I could do.
One Day In September
By Donna Andersen
Tuesday the eleventh dawns like any other day
Sunlight breaks the grayness as we row upon the bay
Herons, gulls and egrets barely glance as we glide by
They’re the creatures, at this hour, that rule the brightening sky
These mornings are a treasure, Mary and I agree
Ten o’clock my meeting is all scheduled to begin
Everyone is staring at a radio as I walk in
The peak of New York City has exploded into fire
Thick, black smoke is billowing from our economic spire
Do we work? Do we stop? Are they getting out?
Message light is blinking where are you? Are you there?
Are your brothers in New York today? Is your sister in the air?
Cell phones are not working have you seen the awful news?
What on earth is happening? Has anyone a clue?
Yes, the TV’s on, but I can’t absorb the scene
News uninterrupted, it’s bad and getting worse
Crash into the towers the idea is so perverse
Ten thousand in each edifice had just begun their day
Now a pile of rubble and all I can do is pray
Let there be survivors, please; God, we need you now
Jet slams into shining glass
The hundredth time today
Another angle, another shot
Let’s review that play
But this is not a game
Fires burning, twisted steel, it’s such an wrenching sight
Sweetheart, please come over, I can’t be alone tonight
Earlier this morning it was birds that ruled the sky
Now it’s raining jet fuel why did they have to die?
All those lonely pillows in so many empty beds
Family and friends are safe, but I can’t catch my breath
Two degrees of separation keep me from knowing death
Mary’s childhood classmate was one who called his wife
From up above the fire, hoping vainly for his life
Never did I know him, yet still I feel the loss
Countless private tragedies just add to my distress
How can I stop crying, ease the tension in my chest?
My brothers at ground zero passed buckets hand to hand
The president promises that America will take a stand
I am just a writer, searching desperately for words
Holes punched in our confidence, life forever changed
But this I know from experience: Good can come from pain
Our hearts have been ripped open, yet open hearts can feel
Compassion for each other may be the gift of this ordeal
Pray it is a turning point in our human history
Search for justice underway
Portends a mourning dove
In the end, there’s love and fear
And fear is lack of love
Our caring may be our hope
One Joy,
I read the article, it is upsetting! Such a shame that people are so uncaring.
I did not watch the vid of the towers collapsing. I’ve seen it a lot with husband’s stuff. Don’t want to watch it NO MO’
I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. I know you’ll be back on top in no time, by the sounds of it. 🙂
Dear One/Joy,
I agree with you on that stance about being angry at those people who did NOT make a phone call to the police. THAT IS JUST TERRIBLE!
I actually dont’ know what your stance is about the death penalty. I have considered it from the time I was a kid actually, since I lived in a state where people were put to death on a fairly regular basis.
I remember when I was in the devastation stage after my son was arrested for murder that I didn’t know if he would be charged with a crime that might get the death penalty and I kept thinking “oh, how horrible if they were to put him to death.”
Now, actually, it would be a relief to me, but I have NO doubt about his guilt.
The recent release of the “West Memphis Three” from the prison in my state after 18 years (one of them off death row) for a crime it is pretty certain they did NOT commit, I have changed my mind about the death penalty. Texas also has released quite a few men and several from death row that were not only “not guilty” but were INNOCENT. O J Simpson and Casey Anthony are “not guilty” but they are NOT INNOCENT.
Just the thought of an innocent man or woman being put to death for a crime they did not commit bothers me a lot. I also know that prison is no cake walk, and I think if prison for LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE were used more often for repeat and violent offenders and some of the people who are not psychopaths were released to community service etc. we could decrease our number of inmates and the cost to keep them…as well as cut down on a VAST amount of crime on our streets.
Partly because of Patrick I HAVE given a great deal of thought and study to our penal system and how it works—or doesn’t work, as the case may be! I don’t claim to know ALL the answers, not really even all the questions, but I do know that what we have is NOT WORKING WELL…especially where psychopaths are concerned.
ps One/Joy,
Glad you are taking care of YOU! Good job! You are continuing to sound sane, even with the illness and the mold/roomie thing, it didn’t drop you to the bottom of the insanity pit! So TOWANDA for you!!!! Keep on taking care of yourself.
Hi Oxy,
I wrote before, but I don’t think you saw it. Did you get the book “one hundred years of solitude” yet? My husband is reading it and finding it difficult.
I ordered the books that you and One Joy suggested, but it’s taking forever with the inter-library loans…weeks! I’m looking forward to reading the book you suggested by Sams. All of them had to be ordered…none on the shelf. It’s been at least two weeks…Guess I need to call them.
Hi Ana – how are you tonight?
Hi oxy – well, i live in the land of no death penalty.
As a young teen I (and my whole family) got caught in the middle of a gunfight between a criminal and the police in the middle of a 4 lane highway. I saw a police officer take a bullet up close and personal. Since that day i have felt that there needs to be some way to protect the police. And the threat of the death penalty can be a deterent. This fellow opened fire on the police. He was surrounded (trapped) and he just started shooting. okay, so now i know that a lot of cops are spathy. and i know that things are not so black and white.
i think your views are well considered. I see that we need a major overhaul of our justice system; locking certain people up and throwing away the key; treating others in a different way (ie community service, and giving them tools to be in society); and capital punishment for others.
i’d like to see DUI offenders get criminal sentences. I’d like to see pedophiles receive cap punishment. Same with rapists. And when we develop a reliable genetic test for criminal spaths – I’d like them to get life imprisonment regardless of the lack of severity of the crime, and death for any of the other crimes i have cited, save the DUI (although…it’s a damn weapon). If someone beats their spouse or children I want to see fast and hard criminal sentences.
I think a lot of drug time is a waste of time and a waste of money. Possession of personal use amounts should be legalized. and i want to see legislation that criminalizes love fraud.
Hi One Joy,
I’m good. Thanks for asking. I’ve ended my therapy after eight months. I don’t need to go back. I’ve learned that if I run into spath anywhere..I have the right to walk away.
I do NOT have to talk to this woman ever again. If I see her in public (which I was so worried about), I can just say, nope, ain’t going to happen, this conversation. Walk away.
So, I did get help from this therapist. When I listened to Donna’s radio interview I could feel some tension in my belly because they just never pay for their shit. They seem to go on and on and we are left cleaning up the emotional mess. I don’t know.
My emotions are upset cause my lil girl cat is sick, sneezing and watering eyes. Might be time for the vet soon. Oh, she know’s the word “vet” so we have to spell it in front of her…lol
i’d also like to see criminals held financially responsible for their victims: for their medical bills, for counseling, for other services that would allow these folks to re enter work, etc.
Ana – i used to have to spell s-n-a-k-e in front of my grey mister as he was not at all fond of the idea of our getting a s-n-a-k-e.
does she have allergies?
I used to get QUITE worked up about the ongoing nature of my spaths cons – she gets caught and still rolls forward. she gets publicly exposed and still rolls forward, she cons her best friends child, and still rolls forward – this is what makes me want to whack her. I can handle the damage she did to me, but she is still out there doing it, and she has been doing it for decades…and some of the people she conned decades ago still fear her. yup. death penalty all round for the spaths would make me happy. and quite literally i would be willing to live with the karma of doing it myself.
One Joy,
Oh, I don’t want to actually kill her. Just HARM her, that’s all. Why should she enter the spirit world, nah, I’m all for harming but not killing. I should not be, but I am looking her up on google to see where she really lives. Of course, it’s under an alias.
Every year in this state you have to reinstate your massage lisence…of course she hasn’t. those rules don’t apply to her I guess. It pisses me off because she does not follow any of the rules, yet still practices massage. UGH! You know that she only takes cash…lolol just had to add that in.
Ah, my lil girl cat. Yep, she’s got allergies all right. She won’t let me put a warm cloth on her runny eyes…and tonight she hid under the bed cause she thought I was gonna take her to the v-e-t- lol