Before sunrise on September 11, 2001, my rowing partner, Mary, and I, were already on the water for our morning workout. As darkness imperceptibly gave way to light, the bay was calm, the air was clear—an absolutely beautiful day dawned. We glided past herons and egrets, enjoying the quiet peace of Nature.
A couple of hours later, I was driving to a 10 a.m. meeting when I heard something on the car radio about a small plane crashing into the World Trade Center in New York City. By the time I reached my client’s office, all of her co-workers were standing around a radio. Both towers of the World Trade Center were hit, and the announcers were talking about a terrorist attack.
“What do you want to do?” I asked my client. Neither one of us knew the office protocol for terrorist attacks.
“I guess we’ll have the meeting,” she said.
So we did. But from the expansive plate glass windows in her conference room, I had a clear view of the flight paths into Atlantic City International Airport, which was about eight miles away, right in the middle of the busy Northeast corridor. Jet after jet was landing. None were taking off.
I rushed home after the meeting and turned on the television, shocked at the images that played over and over on the screen. A huge jet, loaded with fuel, crashing into the tallest building in New York. One tower fell, then the other. It was horrifying.
Was my family safe? One brother had an office in Lower Manhattan. My other brother was managing a construction project at Newark International Airport. My sister had flown to Hawaii a few days earlier. Gradually, when cell phone calls finally went through, I learned that my family was okay.
Thousands of other people weren’t so lucky.
Thousands of other people, through no fault of their own, had their lives ripped apart. People on their way to important destinations, people starting their day at work, were suddenly gone. The people who loved them were left to ask why.
Why did this happen? What had they done wrong? What did I do wrong? How am I going to survive?
They clung to hope, and then there was none.
I knew what that felt like.
A year earlier, I was forced to give up hope. I had been pursuing my $1.25 million judgment against my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. I was convinced I would find the money, and it would right my life that had been so wronged.
Before meeting my ex, I had been going to work every day, having fun when I could, and hoping, along the way, to make a romantic connection. James Montgomery presented himself as the love of my life. In truth, he was a terrorist who intentionally crashed into everything I had built, and brought it down.
I was outraged. I was an upstanding, responsible human being. I had done many things right and nothing wrong, yet my life was ripped to shreds.
I sought justice. The court said I was right, and the judge in my divorce awarded me everything that was taken from me—$227,000—plus $1 million in punitive damages. I pursued the money until 2000, when I had no choice but to admit failure. I was not going to recover what I had lost.
I collapsed. I raged. I demanded answers from God. What had I done to deserve this?
On September 11, 2001, and in the following traumatic days, I couldn’t breathe. I viscerally felt the nation’s collective horror. I knew the outrage, the confusion, the fear, the hope and then the hopelessness. I felt like I was reliving how my own life had crashed, magnified by a hundred, or perhaps a thousand.
A couple of weeks after the devastating tragedy, I wrote a poem. It was all I could do.
One Day In September
By Donna Andersen
Tuesday the eleventh dawns like any other day
Sunlight breaks the grayness as we row upon the bay
Herons, gulls and egrets barely glance as we glide by
They’re the creatures, at this hour, that rule the brightening sky
These mornings are a treasure, Mary and I agree
Ten o’clock my meeting is all scheduled to begin
Everyone is staring at a radio as I walk in
The peak of New York City has exploded into fire
Thick, black smoke is billowing from our economic spire
Do we work? Do we stop? Are they getting out?
Message light is blinking where are you? Are you there?
Are your brothers in New York today? Is your sister in the air?
Cell phones are not working have you seen the awful news?
What on earth is happening? Has anyone a clue?
Yes, the TV’s on, but I can’t absorb the scene
News uninterrupted, it’s bad and getting worse
Crash into the towers the idea is so perverse
Ten thousand in each edifice had just begun their day
Now a pile of rubble and all I can do is pray
Let there be survivors, please; God, we need you now
Jet slams into shining glass
The hundredth time today
Another angle, another shot
Let’s review that play
But this is not a game
Fires burning, twisted steel, it’s such an wrenching sight
Sweetheart, please come over, I can’t be alone tonight
Earlier this morning it was birds that ruled the sky
Now it’s raining jet fuel why did they have to die?
All those lonely pillows in so many empty beds
Family and friends are safe, but I can’t catch my breath
Two degrees of separation keep me from knowing death
Mary’s childhood classmate was one who called his wife
From up above the fire, hoping vainly for his life
Never did I know him, yet still I feel the loss
Countless private tragedies just add to my distress
How can I stop crying, ease the tension in my chest?
My brothers at ground zero passed buckets hand to hand
The president promises that America will take a stand
I am just a writer, searching desperately for words
Holes punched in our confidence, life forever changed
But this I know from experience: Good can come from pain
Our hearts have been ripped open, yet open hearts can feel
Compassion for each other may be the gift of this ordeal
Pray it is a turning point in our human history
Search for justice underway
Portends a mourning dove
In the end, there’s love and fear
And fear is lack of love
Our caring may be our hope
awww, poor kitty.
can you report her anonymously? a little spath back? you can cause her a bit of trouble. she might have to leave the state. no more ‘happy endings’. (just had to add THAT. LOL)
The death penalty for them? Could we even do that? 🙁
Ex Umbris – i don’t quite understand what you mean.
Ana,
sorry about your baby kitty. Is she an indoor or an outdoor kitty?
OneJoy,
there is something semi-spathic about people who can turn away a person in dire distress. Sure, there is the possibility that it is a conman doing the pity ploy, but it’s so easy to deal with it since he was only asking for a 911 call!! I mean, even if it had been false, the caller could have reported the man for his harrassing behavior.
We had a spath cop kill a native american man point blank.
He was a wood carver so he was routinely seen walking around with his carving knife and a piece of wood. As he crossed the street, the cop turned on his blue lights and got out of the car and stopped him on the corner. He moved just out of range of his patrol car camera, the pulled out his weapon, yelled at the man to drop the knife and waited about 7 seconds before he shot him 4 TIMES. Autopsy shows he wasn’t even facing the cop.
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/112097619.html
If you listen to the cop after the killing, you can hear how calm he is. He felt nothing.
BTW, the cop got away with it. spaths always do.
Seattle cops kill and beat up people so much that the feds have sent in an investigator. It will be a spath investigator and he’ll just say everything is fine.
Sky – i know about John Williams – it is so similar a killing. Based in racism, classism and ignorance.
we can only make sure we don’t lose our compassion.
BlueJay,
as to your question about who would do that and why: a spath would and they would do it for the drama, the control, the money. (there is interesting information out there about the lease and the insurance that was purchased, just prior to 9/11.)
But mostly for the drama. In the end, they got what they wanted: the sheeple are more scared than ever, they started a war, we allow them to fondle us at the airport (there always has to be a sex angle with the spaths) and the economy is in shambles. All this happened right after we climbed up on that pedestal, during the 90’s economic bubble. But of course, so we would have further to fall.
Ana, nah, haven’t gotten the book ordered yet, flat forgot it but will get that done here shortly.
It is just easier to order them off amazon dot com for me and have them (used) sent to my house since it costs $10 or more in gas to drive to town and back to the library. This way I can read at my leisure as well. I share them with friends when I am done unless I keep one to reread. Thanks for reminding me.
one/joy – Idk. I’m sorry, forget I said anything.
Hi everyone,
I did not post the link because it was irrlevant. I posted it because it is too relevant. Let me ask you this: “Why is not psychopathy recognized as an illness?” Because it is considered not only normal but also the mark of the smart, ruthless, successful business and political people.
If psychopaths are attracted to power, control, and the manipulation of others, where do you think most of them will end up? Either in wall street or in the capitol!
As I said earlier, I have a sister who is married to a psychopath and I only learned that psyhopaths exist after a lot of painful experiences, reading, and soul searching. But I have learned also that the issue of psychopathy is more than just a few mad peopele screwing up the life of a few innocent people. It is more than this. It could be a whole culture that is built around the notion that as long as you get what you want, you are fine regardless of what you do. This is why we live in a culture that refuses to recognize or address the issue of psychopathy. What is the use of trying to expose and fight the small psychopaths when we refuse to acknowledge the existence of the big ones?
(((freedomfare)))
exactly.
This is why I’m here on LF learning about spaths.
Sure I had an uber spath and my family of spaths, so it’s very helpful to learn about them.
It would be great to prevent the uber spath and my spath family from hurting more people, but what does that matter when the spaths are running the world? It is in learning about the small spaths that we can see the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOR on the larger stage. The spaths need drama, they have cycles, they need sacrificial victims. They call them INFANTry, but King Herod didn’t bother with that, he just called for all boys under age 2 to be killed. It’s been going on for eternity and we have to wake up to it.
Freedom, I hope you read “Sacrifice and the Sacred” by Rene Girard. You may find it informative.