Nearly all of the research into sociopathy has involved evaluating the personality traits of adult men in prison. The reason for this is that researchers have easy access to adult prisoners and more prisoners are male. Think about it—how else would a researcher find sociopaths to study? The problem with studying sociopathy in male prisoners is that we learn nothing about sociopaths who never get arrested. We also don’t know if the research results apply to women.
There is actually very little research data available regarding sociopathy in non-criminals and in women. The little research that has been done reveals that sociopathy in women entails two or three main features that are similar to those found in men. Namely, female sociopaths lack empathy and enjoy manipulating and exploiting others. Violent and impulsive behavior is less common in sociopathic women. This fact may make them more dangerous, as they more easily blend in with the rest of society.
The key traits of sociopathic females
A recent study of adolescent girls in detention performed by Crystal L. Schrum, M.A. and Randall T. Salekin, Ph.D. of the University of Alabama and reported in Behavioral Sciences and the Law, revealed the core qualities that best described young female sociopaths. The teens were callous and lacked empathy, had a grandiose sense of self worth and were conning and manipulative. They were also likely to engage in impersonal sexual relationships. Importantly, the researchers revealed that female sociopaths did not necessarily have “shallow emotions.” Again the lack of impulsivity and shallow emotions may make a female sociopath more difficult to spot.
Please read the true Lovefraud story of Michelle Drake. Notice that female sociopaths victimize other women as well as men. This vignette illustrates many of the core qualities of a female sociopath. As I read this case, I was painfully reminded of the male sociopath who was once part of my life; so perhaps the similarities between male and female sociopaths are more important than the differences. What struck me about the story is the elaborate con she perpetrated for really very little money. This case illustrates something truly amazing about sociopaths—the degree to which they derive pleasure from conning others. Their hoaxes are often outlandish and grandiose.
A friend of mine, who was once in law enforcement, says that conning is the sociopath’s profession and that that he/she may not even do it for the money. Conning is instead the work they have a passion for. As my friend says, “When a sociopath wakes up and opens his eyes in the morning, it’s show time!” I can envision Michelle saying that to herself as she donned the fake pregnancy costume.
The public and the courts are sympathetic toward female sociopaths
The case of Michelle Drake also illustrates something else about female sociopaths. The courts are more likely to go easy on them. This attitude of the courts may reflect the fact that many people excuse the behavior of female sociopaths and feel sorry for them. Look at the cases of women in the news lately. We don’t know if the women involved are sociopaths, however, these cases do illustrate the double standard that exists in how we judge female as opposed to male antisocial behavior. Several women teachers have been found guilty of sexually exploiting students. They were treated very leniently for the same crimes that would have put a man in jail for many years.
The NASA astronaut arrested for attempted murder is another example of the way people treat women differently and don’t take their crimes seriously. This week, a restaurant owner in Florida held a benefit night to raise money for the astronaut’s family. News commentators have been quick to voice sympathy for the astronaut, yet I have not heard a one express sympathy for the victim. I remind you that it is alleged that the astronaut sprayed her victim with mace and planned to kill her.
In conclusion, sociopathy is less common in women. Women who are sociopaths may not appear as shallow as men who are sociopaths. They are also less angry and impulsive compared to men. Although violence is less commonly perpetrated by women, if you are the victim, these statistics don’t matter.
Onemorevictim:
Welcome to LF.
Stick around and you’ll gain insight from the posters and other articles.
It’s a long journey to trust again…..but it’s doable.
You’ve got a good start landing up here with the knowlege you came with…..
Again, welcome to LF.
Jeez, I feel honored to be in the company to such honorable folks.
So, let the healing begin!
ha, haa.
I love your humor here too…..it’s saved my life.
Literally…………
Frontporchtalker:
This is a serve yourself kinda place…..so head on over and grab a cup o java……and fill us in!
Dear Front porch talker,
Yea, I agree with you about the dividing in to paragraphs, but I am the QUEEN of the RUN-ON-SENTENCE so I guess I should not complain about the writing styles of others! Mrs. Barlow never did get me to stop with the run-on-sentences!
Glad you arrived here at our little Oasis in the world of the psychopaths that we have all escaped from—well, more or less, and some more wounded than others, but we are all climbing up on the road to healing and trying to work our way throught the abyss and the pot holes, and not get lured off the road by the Siren Song of the psychopaths trying to distract us.l
There are lots of turns on the paths, and sometimes the signs aren’t clearly marked, or we fall into despair of a pity party for a while, but there are some great folks here and we all love a good yarn. Especially since these yarns are BETTER THAN FICTION and they are true, no one who hadn’t lived one of these yarns would even comprehend that TRUTH IS MUCH STRANGER THAN FICTION. My therapist thought I was a paranoid delusional nut job until I brought in court documents and a witness to testify that I wasn’t imagining that “everyone is out to kill me.” LOL
Erin Brock was diging up her yard cause she thought her x had buried cans of drug money there….and when he was arrested for interstaste transport of drugs, who knows, she might be right, but unfortunately hasn’t found any of the money yet!
Henry keeps a loaded paintball gun by his door and sleeps with 3 weiner dogs, and I keep a hog-leg pistol under my Bible on my bed, so we are defintely a DIVERSE GROUP of folks, with MDs, college profs, professional artists, writers, jouranlists, lawyers, medical personnel, therapists, etc. you name it there are one or two of us here. We are skinny, fat, old and young, parents, no kids, gay, straight, not sure, Christian and atheists and every thing in between. But we are all well aware of what damage a psychopath can do to even the strongest of us if we don’t take care of ourselves.
So again, get off your mule,” light and hitch, pull up your rocker and set a while” we’re all ears!
Couldn’t we at least have some sweet iced tea and boiled peanuts (virtual, of course), or maybe somebody could shuck some corn, so I wouldn’t feel so self-conscious about telling my story? ha, ha.
Okay, I’ll try to just tell the Narrative, at least Part One of the story, without too much of my smarty-pants humor. Are y’all comfy on the front porch?
It’s gonna be a long, bumpy ride…ha, ha!!!!
okay, okay, get with it.
Wait: i need a fresh piece of paper first (recycled of course), and my fountain pen,….
My Life with a Sociopath(s): A Narrative, PART ONE
I first met a woman whom I’ll call “MP” about 12 years ago, while I was attending Alanon, a 12-step program for FAMILIES of alcoholics.
MP was in A.A. as well, and had just moved to town, 300 miles away from her home town, where her 2 teenaged girls were living with her ex-husband–he had custody! (RED FLAG) They also didn’t like their mother.
MP used “recovery” as a cover for herself, so I would be more likely to trust her. She reminded me of my own mother who’d just died of alcoholism (as well as my father)…the disease runs rampant in my family, except for me.
I was the perfect profile of a victim: I was “codependent” and “people-pleaser,” and a person who prided myself on my high moral grounds.
MP, it turned out later, also fit the profile of my abusive alcoholic mother. Like my mother’s drunken rages against me and the emotional abuse, MP knew how to use rage to control me.
MP had what I never had: FAMILY! I was her friend for a couple of years and had my own family, or so I thought. It was my weakness. I was never in love with her: but she exuded family, unless you count that her daughters, who came to live with her, seemed to hate her.
My other weakness: humor! It didn’t matter that I wasn’t in love with MP, in any sense of the word, she filled an empty void in me: humor and family.
And, she always complimented me and had demanded that her teens treat me with utmost respect because of high standards of morality.
I mean by that I felt compassion for MP and felt survivor’s guilt
One more thing (as always) as I read your post, especially from you, OxDrover and Erin Brock, I was amazed about the part where people thought you were delusional and psychotic…..me too!
I was committed for 2 weeks against my will, because I told a doctor that I’d written the F.B.I. (Id Theft) because of my case. The doctor, AND my “best friend” had me committed bc they thought I had imaginary delusions that “I wrote the F.B.I. about—that somebody was trying to steal my identity!” ha, ha.
You’re just never the same when your own good friend thinks you’re just being a little “paranoid” about things—and that you should just get over it all. Well, this friend had committed her father (who had schizophrenia) so to her, I was just “mentally unbalanced.”
That was the worst day of my life.
Anyway, your posts about your own experiences of people thinking you were delusional really ring true with me! Ring, ring, ring!!!!
bravo…let the healing begin…. I finally feel understood….
Well, cowpoke, you can jist call me ‘Wishbone’ from that old cowboy show where they sit around the fire and chew the fat.
I would guess leo that you have a venus in leo in your chart making your grand idea of romance something that you need to suffer for and fight for. For your valiant effort for the underdog and tryig to love someone you didn’t.
I am sorry for your story. It sounds like a tough one.
All of these stories are hard. And it comes way later that there is anything to laugh about.
My story as weird as any but shorter, (thank God) than most.
He is a guest now of Uncle Sam’s God Love him and keep him but lie no more to me…..I guess bigamy is considered a pretty foul insult and the good news is I think there was only one other lawfully wedded but we don’t know for sure. There is no central database so some poor woman may be out there thinking he is hers committed and committed to care for.
I wonder how long until she shows up here. I’d be the first to reach out. He was convincing. Charming. Romantic. A wonderful lover and a fantastic liar.
All good I guess until the boys with m16’s showed up. Wished I’d decided to put on my jeans instead of wandering out of bed into the kitchen that morning for coffee- but HEY! Who was expecting company?
We’d only been married six weeks!
Gotta love the good guys!
I like to say that its probrably true that after 15 years with a N and all the physical and psychological destruction that was about, after listening to years of I love me, when the psychopath came along and said I love you, I went down like a brick.
Sigh.
But down the road a bit from it all, it turns out all that matters is letting go. And sooner is better in order not to carry around a burden. Its work, but its worth it.
Cry when you have to but moreover look for that balance of peace and understanding that lets you move forward. You’ll find pointers and advice here and a supportive community.
Hang tough. You’ve been on a rough road. It does smooth out. It does.
We’ll be right here.