A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following question:
I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this?
This reader posts as “Sam.” Last year I published her story as a “Letter to Lovefraud.” The explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it:
Sam’s story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her:
- She witnessed domestic violence from a very young age.
- She left home before she turned 15.
- She suffered from depression.
- Her first relationship was with a guy who was physically, verbally and mentally abusive.
- She met “the love of her life,” but it just didn’t seem right, so she didn’t stay with him.
- Her next partner was insecure and controlling, and took no interest in their baby.
- She reconnected with “the love of her life,” who betrayed her over and over for the next seven years.
Can you imagine the breadth and depth of Sam’s emotional wounds? These wounds are the reason why Sam keeps running into sociopaths.
Human energy fields
What exactly is an emotional wound? It is a disturbance in our own personal energy field. These disturbances affect our health and our lives until they are healed.
I’m going to briefly explain how it works. I’m not an expert in this. But I can say that if I didn’t have my energy healer, it would have been much more difficult for me to recover from the experience of being betrayed by my sociopathic ex-husband.
Much of today’s understanding of energy medicine is based on ancient Indian and Chinese concepts. The foundation is the idea that a life force, or energy, permeates the entire universe and everything in it, including us. This energy is called “prana” in Sanskrit and “chi” or “qi” by the Chinese. (Many other cultures also recognize this energy.)
Our personal energy fields include several distinct structures. The most well-known are the meridians used in acupuncture and acupressure, the seven chakras and the aura, which itself has seven distinct layers.
Some well-known healers, such as Donna Eden and Barbara Brennan, can perceive these energy fields. My energy healer could also see my chakras and aura. Barbara Brennan (who earned degrees in physics and atmospheric physics and worked for NASA) believes anyone can learn to perceive them.
The following interview with Barbara Brennan explains how our human energy fields work:
Exploring the Human Energy System, on Healthy.net.
On page 2 of the story, about halfway down, the interviewer, Russel E. DiCarlo, asks Brennan:
You have said that the major cause of illness stems from how we habitually imbalance our fields, thereby making it weak and ourselves susceptible to physical illness. Why do we do this?
Brenan explains that when we experience childhood traumas, disturbances are created in our energy fields. I would add that these energetic disturbances are created any time during our lives when we experience trauma, disappointment or betrayal.
We don’t want to feel the pain of our experiences, Brennan explains. “So we create a way to hold these ‘blobs,’ shall we say, of consciousness and energy so that we might never have to experience them.” Consequently, the disturbances get stuck in our energy fields.
These stuck disturbances have two effects:
- They create blockages prevent our life energies from flowing properly.
- They draw more experiences to our lives that match the energy of the disturbance.
This is exactly what is happening to Sam. She had one abusive experience after another in her life. With this parade of sociopaths, the energy disturbances they caused are likely still stuck in her energy field.
Energy attracts energy that is like itself. So because of the energy disturbances caused by sociopaths, more sociopaths keep showing up.
This, of course, is painful. But in the next question of the interview, Brennan explains that pain motivates us to change.
Healing the disturbances
So how do we get the disturbances out of our energy fields? One way is to allow ourselves to actually feel the pain and trauma of the experiences.
Often we’re afraid of the pain. We feel that if we ever allow ourselves to start crying about what happened to us, or if we pull the lid off of our anger, the emotions will overwhelm us.
But keeping the pain bottled up becomes toxic. It prevents us from enjoying life as we should. It also turns into disease, such as cancer.
I believe we should allow ourselves to cry. We should express our anger, although not necessarily to the person who betrayed us. That’s useless with a sociopath. It’s much better to take out your anger on a punching bag.
Another way to dissolve the negative energy is through EFT tapping. Here’s what I wrote about tapping recently.
Sam, I recommend that you work on your personal healing. By siphoning off the negative energy and replacing it with positive energy, you’ll change your life.
Some people believe these ideas are New Age hocus pocus. But scientists have recently been able to measure and document the effects of universal energy and the human energy field. Here are some books that I’ve found helpful in explaining these concepts. They’re all available on Amazon.com.
Hands of Light A guide to healing through the human energy field, by Barbara Ann Brennan, Ph.D.
The Genie in Your Genes epigenetic medicine and the new biology of intention, by Dawson Church, Ph.D.
The Promise of Energy Psychology Revolutionary tools for dramatic personal change, by David Feinstein, Donna Eden and Gary Craig.