Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
console12
You don’t want “them” you want the mask they created for you.
I’ve gotten my sociopaths back all the time and got my way, never as cool or exciting as the first time.
For those of you who want to “win”. It’s even worse than losing. It’s an empty victory because it means nothing to them regardless.
Walk away. You’ve won if you’re still alive.
ErinBrock
Console;
Why did you want your sociopaths (more than a few???)
back?
Was this a game (win) to you?
Just curious?
console12
It’s always been a game. That’s why I got trapped in it so many times. I still do to some extent.
That’s a trick that is never mentioned. Human beings have an innate desire to seduce and be seduced. If you can seduce a person with no soul then what does that make you? It makes you Godly. It’s like an added bonus. People become victims of their own narcissism however, and you pay a price whether in defeat or victory.
The way to seduce a sociopath is very simple, even easier than seducing a normal person. It’s a joke actually, that’s how easy it is. Just find out how they see themselves and validate it. Tada! You’ve won…
But so what? After the ego rush is gone, you’re still an idiot and you still wasted precious time on this planet. It’s an added slap in the face when you realize that this grandiose image you had of their “power” is actually driven by pathetic insecurities and fears.
Sociopaths are weak.
ErinBrock
“If you can seduce a person with no soul then what does that make you? It makes you Godly.”
NO…… unhealthy?
If you seek out sociopaths to conquor…….what is this serving?
An unhealthy need to ‘win’. To ‘gain’ …..as in an object.
I would revist these motives and reasons……
Healthy persons strive for healthy relationships.
True….we get sucked into the fantasy that the sociopath portrays.
But…to go back and repeat the toxicity, over and over is just an insane idea to me (once you know the person is a sociopath and NOT a normal healthy thinking person).
One can seduce and be seduced in a heathy way, with the end result not being about winning or losing…..but builiding a strong, loving and lasting relationship
console12
Erin, I know you’re correct about all of this.
I’m not healthy, that much is obvious. But at least I admit it.
I would consider myself a bit of a narcissist. I’m sensitive and very into my ego. I can’t help it. Always been that way.
BUT, at least I know it. So there is hope.
ErinBrock
Knowing it and doing something about it are different spectrums.
We only change what we don’t like.
We can’t sit and wish for things to be different.
console12
I take steps. It’s not easy. Baby steps.
I’ve seen “glimpses” of what it’s like to be normal…of being a giving and good person…it’s amazing. I now have to do it enough times to make it a habit. Baby steps Erin. Baby steps.
ErinBrock
Why is it you don’t view yourself as ‘normal’, ‘giving’ or ‘good person’.
Change takes perseverence and patience……and at all times moving in a forward direction with education and knowledge.
console12
Easy, because I used to think I was such a good person, but I really wasn’t, and thinking that I was this good person made me think that I had the right to lash out at others in ANY means necessary (and I mean that, ANY means) because “hey I’m being nice here, whats your problem”.
Things like murder (no I didn’t murder people) can be rationalized if you think you’re a good person and the cause is just.
I would rationalize all kinds of out of line behavior with the old “hey im being good here, so screw you”.
It all starts with being honest with yourself. I had to be brutally honest with myself that “no, you’re not a good person, everything that comes out of your mouth is geared towards feeding your ego and getting what you want, instead of making
the world a better place.”
ErinBrock
console12:
I respect your honesty with the above post.
The ex H spath used to ask me periodically…..Am I a good person? Ofcourse, he was my husband and I defended him naturally……until I coulnd’t defend his latest actions…..they were so blatent illegal and horrid. He needed external validation, because he already knew the answer.
I found it interesting that he would ask me ……
I know that right is right and wrong is wrong……whether it’s stealing, murder, or cheating on your spouse.
I have to live with myself. I have to lay my head on my pillow at night……and if that is ever a problem….I need to reflect and change why.
I am in control of me and my actions.
I’ve never felt the need to ask anyone this question….
No….he isn’t a good person.
He ‘maybe’ killed a woman in HI, he destroyed his own kids, he attempted to destroy me, he sells drugs and provides drugs to kids, there is evidence of alleged ‘actions’ with minors….among other things……and this person has to ASK if he’s a good person……
But, others now, I am sure (because this is what he seeks) validate this question he asks.
He designs it to get his answer.
Maybe some day…..he’ll ask me this question once again……
Your so very right……it’s about being honest with ourselves….and that is not always easy to do.
The bottom line is…….you can run…..but you can’t hide……not even from oursleves.
Good luck on your journey to change.