Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
GettingIt
erin72, it’s their ability to dissociate, I guess, and take on the form for the time being, like actors in a play.
tobehappy
Southernman…..
Check out Louise Hay’s YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. She has a website also. I found that working on MYSELF after educating myself on NPD and Sociopaths and Psychopaths….was my saving grace. I reached a point where I knew what I was dealing with, with several socios I encountered in my life, and it was time to rebuild myself. Louise teaches you how to love yourself and how to CREATE the life you want to live. When I was ready, I began my quest to learn to love myself.
I worked on my self esteem, and also my physical health by going to the gym and getting in better shape. I lost a lot of weight, physically …and took a lot of “weight” off of my heart too. You just have to be ready. I made a decision to move forward….and forgive myself and people who hurt me, (since THEY are disordered) and to now work on ME.
After just a few weeks, all my fears left me and I was looking forward to a better future. I joined some groups and met some really good people who are becoming my close friends. I stopped dealing with people who were bringing me down, even some family members. It is amazing how my life changed!
It took months of processing what I’ve experienced in my life, and everyday I was getting stronger and stronger. The gym was the best…..released endorphins and helped me stay calm and sleep well.
Yes, we have to take care of US now and change OURSELVES before our lives can change. I started dating and I was able to screen people out in the first ten minutes!
I kept doing positive affirmations…from Louise Hays’ POWER THOUGHTS book, everyday. It was miraculous…all good things began to happen. The pain went away…and I became a stronger person.
Check out Louise Hay’s website. Life changing stuff!
hens
southernman I have alway found your post inspirational. I would just simply like to say thank you for sharing your most recent post. Knowing that you still have these feelings after four years has given me a big sigh of relief, I still have work to do and thats ok and I will get there and so will you..henry
tobehappy
Southernman….Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is” is really helpful too! OMG…she is amazing. I have to say, that is my favorite book! Check it out!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
interesting day in one step land.
it seems i have lost my acceptance of people. i was sitting in a meeting with a guy – me running the meeting, listening talking, moving a mutual agenda ahead…became very clear that he hadn’t done quite a few things that were to be in order when we met….so, nothing new there…happens all the time in business…but all the time i am sitting there i am thinking ‘ass****’ over and over, it ran through my head.
can’t wait to see what i am like when i get a bit of pressure. yikes.
then this aft in another meeting with a board member and SHE’S A LOVE BOMBING ONE STEP professionally, about how she and the other woman who interviewed me in the the first round saw me ‘as the future of the organization’. WHAT THE FU**?!?!! i’m not even my own god damned future right now.
had my first meeting with the PTSD shrink – VERY interesting woman. just a bit oddball and kinda intense and str8t forward – had a pic of her driving a team of heavy horses on her wall and some beautiful artwork – endeared her to me. seems she’s completely scrapped talk therapy and has taken up neurofeedback: http://www.brainandhealth.com/
well, i am all in for trying this. i talked to her about what my ideal healing model is and she said, ‘that’s what i am doing’, and ‘are you SURE you haven’t read about this?’
i tried to talk to her about the spath in our intro…i said to her ‘ this all sounds cool and collected but it isn’t and i’m not….i could barely tell her anything. i need to tell my story – don’t know where or when but i think that ‘containment’ is now causing me some problems and i need to tell it, and release it.
the spath did some horrendous stuff to me. i can’t wish another to harm her, i can ‘t beat her, i can’t wish her dead…i have nothing and nowhere to put it. she victimized me and there is a huge wound there. and i need to feel it to move beyond it.
shana31
erin72, I LOVE my scroll wheel when I don’t want to read someone’s posts. Feel the power!! 🙂
ErinBrock
One:
It’s tolerance and your just running low currently.
Take the credit when you can…..and don’t sell yourself short…..
Your just getting back on the horse…..but your hanging on when it bucks…..that’s the important thing!
I am hoping your new therapist is gonna be just what you need! Make it work for you girl!!!!
Lot’s of
XXOO’s
EB
hens
Hi onesteppers – What you experienced is puzzling and brutal. Your spaths incessant attempts to alter your perception of reality makes it even more difficult to access and deal with. When we recognize the underlying motivations of these disordered abuser’s, we have the tools we need to distance ourselves from their distortions and build our own understanding of the situation – one based on reality and not distortion..Like you I felt this huge need to tell everyone what happened to me, and thanks to love fraud I did, but the one who needed to listen to my story the most was me…… was that shrink driving the team of horses Oxy?
one/joy_step_at_a_time
EB – this made me smile – ‘but your hanging on when it bucks’
…and good thing neurofeedback will juice me up, ’cause i am WAY running love.
ErinBrock
Gettingit:
I’m sorry your under the weather…..and in the mind your in.
That’s a hard place to be when your down!!!!
Big healing hugs and loves….
XXOO
EB