Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
behind_blue_eyes
Talk about honesty, the boys, a pint or two, talking, fooling around..
I forwarded this article to Donna. It is very insightful. Now, when you couple its conclusions with traits associated with a sociopath such as mirroring, the pity play and intermittent reward, you can begin to understand why rejection from a sociopath is particularly difficult.
I understood intermittent reward before coming here. I learned about mirroring and the pity play and its power from Lovefraud.
All are powerful but I believe the mirroring can be particularly devastating, as it leads the victim into believing a very deep connection exists when in fact it does not. The pity play, whether overt or not, allows caring people to still feel for their victimizer.
It is truly amazing how this all works for many sociopaths. Let’s be honest here. I don’t remember reading many stories here where the victimizer was all that compelling from the point of view an objective observer. In my case, I fell for (and I hope I don’t offend anyone) an aging flight attendant — a sky waiter. I have two Master’s degrees and worked on Wall Street and in the Aerospace industry. In the gay world, there is nothing more stereotypical than the flight attendant and something I normally would not go for, but Jamie’s subconscious pity play made me overlook this. He also does not take care of himself, he smokes and drinks heavily, but I could “fix” this. I could also “fix” the emotional damage of broken childhood and mother’s death while he was still in college.
Trying to be brutally honest, I was just coming out of another short-term relationship when I met Jamie. However, I saw a lot of positive in this previous relationship, and to use Jamie’s own words, I was in an “unusually good mood” the night I met him. Nevertheless, I was not immediately drawn to him, perhaps because my subconscious was having problems with all the red flags.
In essence, I was substituting Methadone for Heroin.
hens
If my memory is correct it was a gay male flight attendant that spread the hiv virus, I think they called him pateint 1 or zero..not sure if this is true but thot I would throw that in there..
one/joy_step_at_a_time
patient zero was a cdn. flight attendent who worked for cadn airlines…oh, so did the the boy the spath made up. cheeky b****.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
‘In the gay world, there is nothing more stereotypical than the flight attendant…’ i beg to differ. you forgot: hairdresser, interior designer, and dancer.
hens
lol – you forgot bartender ~!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i typed in waiter and then deleted it… 🙂
Ox Drover
How about actor, teacher, judge, doctor, dentist, attorney, male, female, black, white, Tall or short, rich or poor….old or young….LOL
Whatever “stereotypical” person is an X, there are other examples where they are Y or Z— so trying to wrap people up in a box of what type they are is difficult I think.
Yea, some folks might fit into the box, but I think more people DON’T fit in the box than do.
In my years living on the various coasts and being around guys who were flaming queens that you could spot going down the street, there were more people that you couldn’t spot that were gay than those that you could. Ditto in New Orleans. I used to work with a gay guy in the mid 1980s in Dallas who thought I was gay because I was an assertive female. We had been working together about a year and he was stunned one night when I mentioned my husband, because he had thought because I was so open, accepting and tolerant of the various gay people that I worked with that I had to be gay myself. LOL
Living in LA, CA exposes you to just about everything there is to see, New Orleans, LA does the same thing I guess…any big city really. So learning about people is that people are people are people. There are some really ROTTEN psychopathic gays and there are some really ROTTEN psychopathic straights, some really rotten this and rotten than, and there are good folks who are gay, good folks who are straight, etc.
Sexual orientation has nothing to do with what kind of PERSON you are. Neither does how tall or short you are…and neither does whether you like vanilla or chocolate, or rice or potatoes….what makes us “good or bad” is how we treat each other. Whether we are honest or not, kind or not…
I’m just glad that no one every used me for the stereotypical mouthy old battle ax! LOL ROTFLMAO
behind_blue_eyes
Funny, when the Jamie drama began, a friend of mine told me that if your dream guy was a 36 year old HIV+ flight attendant/waiter/hairdresser/bartender/… that I should put an ad online and I would have them lining up for me.
Yes, patient zero was a flight attendant. Oh course, when I am in the “poor Jamie” mode I use this as an excuse for his deception, the “pain” of being so terribly stereotyped…
erin1972
Oxy-that is a really great post. I love it! Guess what too–I am going to move in January when my lease is up–leaving NOLA!!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
you suck at the stereotype game oxy.