Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
Hopeforjoy
I have been reading many of these posts and realizing how some can so brilliantly describe the paths to healing and recovery. They have been so helpful in my journey.
Why am I posting tonight? Because I am feeling dispair. I don’t expect a reply from anyone but it does feel good to vent to a place where people will know where I’m coming from. I start getting so caught up in the here and now that I fail to look to the future. It can be better.
I am tired of playing the game. I don’t want to anymore. How do you really know it’s time to call in your chips? This person who is disordered can really make you crazy. You think you have done some good in life, raised your children and loved them so deeply and unconditionally, been the good wife, helped whenever a friend is in need, volunteer in the community, I’m sure as hell not saying that I’m a saint, but I thought I was doing the freaking right thing!!
The spaths are pure evil. Evil in their bones, in their shriveled up hearts, evil in their brains. Perhaps I’m feeling sorry for myself, I’m so mad, so angry that I want to go away. I would never leave my kids alone with senior psychopath, but one can dream…
hens
Hopeforjoy – I hear you. I can send a cyber hug. Wish I had something comforting to say but dispair is dispair, it not a good emotion, when I feel really down I just tell myself tomorrow will be a better day and most times it is.
behind_blue_eyes
Hopeforjoy;
I do understand your dispair. Last week I was there, now it is gone. Put it all out here, even if some think you are crazy, as it will help you from going crazy.
Call friends, family, email.
If you need seek medical help ASAP.
Please, whatever you do, do not be self-destructive. You sound like you have done way too much good to be self-destructive.
Hopeforjoy
Hens and Blue Eyes,
Thanks for the kind words. I get to the point where I’m feeling sorry for myself and sort of self indulgent. There are all these feelings associated with my relationship with a disordered person and I feel weak and small when I try and be strong.
I do appreciate, so much, those kind words and I know there are people who care and who can relate to my situation.
The important thing to do is to take a deep breath and know that it will get better. I am so looking forward to a change, and I am ready for it. No more waffling. Compassion and forgiveness but no more being a victim.
Thanks guys. Today is not so bad. Daughter went to her counselor and she always feels better after she finishes her session. I made red velvet cupcakes with loads of frosting and making sweets helps me feel better. It’s like a warm bath to me. Tomorrow I’ll have to walk farther to make up for it, but that’s ok.
I have to keep reminding myself of lifes little blessings and keep my faith and spirituality going, filling up the inside of me with healthy things instead of the dispair. When that feeling overtakes you, it is SO powerful and so dreaded. All the wrongs that have happened keep playing over and over again in my head, like a broken record.
Hugs and love xxxooo
hens
Hopeforjoy…Sometimes the little things pile up and the burdens get heavy.. I am almost 3 years out of the crappy relationship and I still struggle with the after affects Plus day to day life, finances, insecurities that I had before the spath “henry issues’..dispair seems to come and go spath or no spath..Maybe we have to fall back down alittle bit occasionally to remind ourselves we can not fix everything…so super Woman please send me one of them Rayed Velvet Cupcakes…
Hopeforjoy
hens,
Thank gosh we have the ability to reflect on our issues and sort them out (unlike ye olde spaths). Those stupid insecurities pop their ugly little heads up all the flipping time!
I’ll save one of them cupcakes for you, the one with extra cream cheese frosting!!! (I totally licked the bowl, yum)
one/joy_step_at_a_time
HENS – LOVE the possum with the peanut butter smile!!!
i met an african tortoise the other night – VERY cool. he had a little black lipstick smile….from getting into some poo. 😉
poo is the theme of the week!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hope4joy – you gave me a lovely gift tonight. you made MY day sweeter. no cupcakes needed.
hens
Oh good that means more cup cakes for me,,,,a turtle with poo lipstick? now that is a first if ever I heard,,,,Hi Onestep,, Hope all is well..My two little weiner girls are being grounded for running off to the neighbors and harassing their cats, actually they are stray cats that hang out in the neighbors barns etc…..when the dogs go out back through the pet door they are in a fenced area, when I let them out the front door they are in open range and lately have been going exploring past their boundaries,,so they are pissed cause the back yard is boring, there is so much to do out the front door,,but I have to keep them contained cause they have abused that front door privlege..
one/joy_step_at_a_time
they are little buggers! my dad’s best boy shares his very large electronically fenced yard with deer. the doe is agressive – had him in the window well…the window well is over 2 feet deep…don’t know how he got down there. he’s the smart boy.
his brother will go through the electronic fence and take the hit to be able to go explore. he’s not so bright…or is he?