Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
one of my revenge fantasies was to fly over his spath nest and deposit enough poo to cover roof, windows…kinda bury them in it….
Sageegirl yes I did feel like something on his shoe he was trying to get off…it was a horrible feeling…
from despair to cupcakes…from flashbacks to deja vu! there is a nice euphoric second or two…like something is just about to make sense…and then it’s gone!
Spath nest..hahaha! That’s a good fantasy too! It reminded me of when I was a kid. One of us (there were 6) got a card that said: OUTSIDE: “May the Bluebird of Happiness INSIDE: Crap all over your birthday cake”…
We STILL laugh about that 40-some years later… At least we still have a sense of humor. Gotta do something to stay sane…
Talking about revenge…
My healing path went from LOVE (mine was real, though his was not), to HATE (just another strong attachment) to WANTING JUSTICE (a nice word for revenge, but sometimes it was from a place of wanting to protect others) to PITY. Pity is what really transformed the relationship in my head (which is the only place it exists now, for two and a half #$#$ years, actually 3 years since I saw him), that let me let go of the justice seeking, the hate, and to acknowledge the warmth…not love…but warmth I still feel for who I thought he was, who he might have been, had his brain not been damaged. Suddenly the compulsive nature of the thoughts seemed to shift.
I had kept imagining the bridge scene at the end of The Betrayal Bond book, when you finally say goodbye forever to the person, and I never could finish the scene. Now I can. I simply say, I wish there was a miracle cure (to make your brain right), but there is not and I pity you. I wish for you a miracle, and I pity you.
And now I can leave the memory of him in peace!
My x-spath’s Facebook profile picture, taken earlier on the day we met, has him sticking his tongue out at Fifth Avenue. I always thought it juvenile, now it insults me, especially from somebody whose budget ends at American Eagle Outfitters.
In a couple of weeks, I will be up in Canada and I was thinking about going over to the building that bears his name and having a picture taken of me, sticking my tongue at it.
I won’t because it violates NC…
neveragain
Thanks so much for the time frame of events. I am one year No contact…this time last year I was home from a nerve shredding trip to his country to track down documents and call a halt to the scam where he was robbing the hard earned money I sent him to renovate the house I had bought…under Romantic rose colored glasses madness…seduced by his lies etc.
He treated me like poo for un covering his evil deeds and proceeded to turn a shade of nasty I didnt think could exist until now….so to hear that YOU have gone from HATE (this I am in 100per cent) from hate to pity is great to hear..I just do not know what will happen next….it’s good to hear that
“Suddenly the compulsive nature of the thoughts seemed to shift.”
oh yes that would be peaceful…I will put your affirmation up on the wall…”I wish for the P a miracle…and I pity him”….no it’s not quite working…I still want to hold his head under a mountain of poo…and suffocate him in feces…but I know that’s not the real person I am…I’m a peace loving air head normally….and I welcome a transition…
thanks for giving me hope…I really want to stop the huge energy leak that is HATE….but can I just say to folk in case they do not know….I totally hate this jerkwad to hell and back..I wish him an avalanche of fetid poo on top of his fetid head!!!
It could be a waste of time and energy hating a non entity like him…but I can’t help it…tried everything…the only thing I can manage is No contact…and the rest I trust will happen in its own good time. Thank you and sorry for the involuntary rant. A kind of psychic incontinance…but it is poo week and it’s a great theme to express with..thanks one step…
BBE
you can talk about it here..really let out the feelings…rant and rave till the cows come home but do not sabotage no contact ….stick your toungue out now…you do not have to go to that building to do it..stick your tongue out…loud and proud and express yourself here… wish you strength and some kind of miracle that lets you know you are more than an image on the cover of ‘Boy’ magazine..
hey bp – my spath IS A MOUNTAIN OF POO. We could suffocate him with her!
neveragain – thank you for sharing your process. i find this particularly beautiful: ‘and to acknowledge the warmth”not love”but warmth I still feel for who I thought he was, who he might have been, had his brain not been damaged.’
one step…no he would actually probably enjoy that too much…it would have to be catapulted at him in big splats…so that he wouldnt know what hit him…a poo shaped woman would turn him on… he is such a sewer rat…. a real stinker
Sagee girl, you know you CANNOT STIR CARP without it getting on you!
In my area of the state there used to be a lot of pig farms (and noting smells worse than pig carp—and the 1000s of pigs in small area no matter how they scoop and shovel and wash, the entire farm and the land for a mile around it smell like pig carp.
The people who own the farms and work in them are CLEAN, there are showers and clean clothes at the farms which they use before they go anywhere else. (most of the people don’t live near their own pig farms!)
After a while though, even if they have showered, and changed clothes etc. there is that smell to their skin…and I think the s-paths do us that way, they STINK so bad that they contaminate us to the Bone! (sorry for being so graphic but you know how I think in pictures and analogies! LOL)
There is no way to associate with them without becoming contaminated…and only time and distance will cleanse us.
How about that for a scatalogical discussion? LOL