Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
Dear Coping
Welcome to the most nuturing blog on the internet. I’m sorry that you have had to seek refuge here. LF is definitly the place to be if you have suffered from a sociopath.
Even if you just come here to learn and read in the beginning that will start your healing process.
Begin with the END in mind. You being a stronger more educated and emotional stable person, determined not to have this ever happen to you againl
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Lean on all the people here until you can let someone lean on you. Peace.
Stay Stong Stay Safe and Stay Sane. I am Seeing Clearly Now
Coping,
Welcome. You’ve entered a new stage in your life that will bring immense changes in how you see your ex, your self and the people around you.
You are experiencing a type of cognitive dissonance. That means that what you THINK is real and what you FEEL is real are 2 opposing realities. That’s why you feel like you’re going crazy. One or the other is wrong. Which one do you think you’ll choose? the red pill or the blue pill?
With time, your sense of reality will start to congeal again. You’ll feel better. But right now, take advantage of this disintegrative state to learn, learn, learn about what is happening to you, because this knowledge will be the foundation for your new way of feeling when you get your cathartic realization. And you get to choose that new feeling by what you choose to think about now.
I’m so sorry you are broke and tired and fed up, I’m so sorry this horrible experience happened to you. My own way of dealing with it was to gain from it as much as I could. I’m determined to gain more than I lost and to see this horrible episode as an opportunity to gain the knowledge and skills that I’ve never had, which made me vulnerable to the sociopaths in the first place.
((Hugs))
Thank you for your comments. My son is finally sleeping so I have some time to post.
I came across this website while trying to do some research on Sociopaths. Over the past few weeks I have read many stories and articles about sociopaths (when I’ve had time which is limited) and I know now more than ever my ex was. Really!!! No doubt about it!! I’m not a scorned women who was dumped. NO!!! I was physically beaten (however I’m not a battered woman-or at leaste I dont consider myself that way- THIS IS MUCH WORSE) He stole from me, lied to me, used me, cheated on me, and stole from me everything I considered good…then left me “not really” after telling me he no longer wanted me, didn’t love me, and couldn’t stand the sight of me, telling me he only wanted to see me when he wanted to see his son only to go into the next room for a nap (in my house)…only to leave the situation resulting in physical conflict with my newborn son… Jesus I’m making no sence…….. My head is so scrambled….
Look I’m alone, newborn baby, trying to get it together, everyday is a struggle.. I used to be an educated successfull woman, nice house, nice car, savings… now I am my worste nightmare. Unemployed (for now), a single mother, still hormonal, broke. Its a daily fight.. Baby, boiling bottles, bankrupcy,attorney for custostody (yes he wants my son!! of coarse on on mon & tues and every holiday including mothers day… ohh yeah, no child support, and I should pay for his life insurance..its a joke…AND HE BELIEVES HE WILL GET IT BECAUSE HES ENTITLED), worste of all I had to get govt assistance..I have become a lifetime movie.
I’m scared.. and still I wonder if hes ok…Jesus I’m sick!!! I need to really get it.Yes, I have sought out therapy..
OMG!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!
Ok i cant do this. I’m only looking nuts myself. So much for blogging. Thanks
Coping,
No you don’t look nuts at all.
not to me.
You look like you’ve been dealing with a psychopath.
Please calm down and stop thinking for a few minutes.
Just stop and breathe.
The best thing I can recommend is a book that gave me my Aha! moment.
“Why is it always about you? The seven deadly sins of narcissism” by Sandy Hotchkiss.
Blogging is good too, but there is something about the cohesion in a book that lets you “get it” more quickly.
When you get your flash of insight, you’ll want more.
Blogging is great too because you will have the emotional fallout that comes with the aftermath. We’ll be here to support you.
i am glad this article got raised again.
i have been struggling with feeling like i desperately need this person back in my life. there is no intelligent reason to want that. he was a warm body with a cold heart, and as soon as i tried to confront him about his cruelty, he dropped me like a hot potato. he victimizes me still though we’ve been apart for over a month. i went NC but then he got in touch about returning belongings and it sent me back down the hole.
he still has his hooks in me and i don’t know how to get them out!
at least this made me remember its normal…
Thank you Skylar,
I am not a narcistist. Maybe I am. My ex always said I was sellsfish. Im just trying to understand things… if I talk about myself its because I’m trying to cope, understand and have nowhere else to go.
I just found out my ex has somehowe managed to get out of (rather prolong) the advocacy programe (a court ordered anger management/mental health evaluation program). He has enrolled but completed nothing! He had 30 days..well its been 30 days today. Apparently he had no money (lol he has lots of cash…no he found another victim… his ex (let me clarify according to him a one night stand with a crazy woman….yes he wanted the abortion but she wand the baby… ALL BS!!. the silly woman who cleared his child support case in Canada) It only took him 3 days to get her to close the case, fly out here and have sex with him,,,, for god sake its been 6 years!! LOL..who am I to judge. Its sad really I was as disposable as she was..I want to warn her…but she is probably under his spell and I am the horrible ex who stole his money and son.
This entire thing makes me sick to my stomach!! Well if he doesnt do anything by the 8th he goes to jail and gets extradited! Lets pray it happens..lol..something tells me it wont..they seeem to always win.
I have nothing to say, but just want to say hello to all of you wonderful, smart, loving people.
I really learned today– that KEEPING BUSY keeps my mind out of the “psychopath rejection depression.”
Coping–
welcome. The people here are wonderful. Heck– if we weren’t, spaths would have passed us by.
Agreenbean
“he was a warm body with a cold heart.”
i love it.
now to write it on the back of my hand to look at every time I get “spath pangs” and miss him (insanity I know– but so are most addictions.).
coping–
he most likely told YOU that YOU were a narcissist– so that you would feel guilty in thinking about/protecting yourself. It was a way in which to get your guard down.
Hi Agreenbean,
Well I cant offer you words of wisdom…as others offered me..because I’M STILL IN THE TOTALLY SCREWED UP CATAGORY. But I say this with complete honesty and sincerity, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Its funny…if you were my friend I would tell you (**ck that person you dont need that!) Howver its not that easy is it. LOL…they wouldn’t get it. This is different…completely crazy…making no sence. My point..my prayers are with you. I want to offer more but thats all I’ve got. 🙂 Someone with some insight will be around soon:). I hope. 🙂 Goodluck!!!