Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
akitameg
Henry/Dances– are you around?
question to ask you
hens
Heylo Meg this is henry…ask away…
akitameg
sometimes I just need reminders. Support.
I should be “grateful” that he stopped calling, right?
Hope all is well with you.
coping
Ok.. Im losing it… Im going to check his email. He is up to no good. Its not stalking dammit its self defense. Shiit old habbits die hard!
hens
Yes sweetheart you should be grateful that he has stopped calling. I know how your feeling. One of the reason’s I changed my number’s back then was so I wouldnt know when he didnt call. How many more times did I want to lose him? How many more time’s did I want the pain of him walking away from me? He was playing that cat and bug game with me that you mentioned the other day. I didnt know at that time he was playing a game, I was holding onto the hope that he really did want to work it out. But I have no doubts now that he was a fucked up person enjoying fucking with my mind. All I knew then was it didnt matter if God had placed him in my hands, I had to stop before I died. Maybe God did do that, too show me who I am. Meg – your going to be ok, your going to stop thinking about this so much, it will stop hurting, eventually everything will fall into a better place for you..Dont beat yourself up for missing him so much – you loved him….it’s ok to mourn for awhile – your gettin stronger – remember – pain with purpose……
ErinBrock
DANCES WITH WIENERS……???????
Oh MY!
Am I gonna have to put the seat belt on ya?
Dang….
I have no idea who anyone is anymore…..
I can’t keep up!
coping
OK..its confirmed yet again. Nope 7 weeks means nothing. He has moved on. Allott of women, internet dating, why did he want me to have his child? I didnt want to… but here I am holding it together. He stole my money, forced me to have his child, left me with nothing like a piece of human trash. Meanwhile hes out partying like a rockstare playing the victim while I am left broke with a child to care for! Dammit!!! I love my son and shouldnt regret anything..god for the first time in 2 1/2 years I feel anger..He truely is shit! I never thought I would say that about anouther human being but its true!! He just doesnt care..and he never did…he took everything and left nothing…I want to cry..how stupid could one person be? These were not red flags they were goddamn brick walls!
hens
Heylo Miss Erin – Let me know when you find that gold mine, my bag’s are packed. Yes I changed it again, but I will always be your moon dancin man…..!
skylar
Coping, There is something very strange about sociopaths in their need to have children. even the ones that don’t have children want to influence children. I’ve noticed this pattern. It’s like they want to make sure that all children are infected with their disease. My spath was a pedophile.
His friend, whom I am not sure is a spath, despises his sister and said he wants to “cut her heart out”, but also is set on being close to her sons, determined to spread his racisit and misogynist hatred to other men.
It’s like they have a need to spread the evil in themselves.
Our mission is to stop them. We need to influence our children better than they do. Override the programming that they attempt to put on innocent children and win the war against the spaths.
Hold on and learn, learn, learn, Coping.
lesson learned
DW
What you said to akita was really right on, and very kind considering where she’s at. 🙂
I have something I want to share here, a little reality check, I think….
One of the things that is truly bothering me is that exPOS is having wild crazy sex with his new gf. That he told last love bomb(that he didn’t manage to land) that his ex wife (never mind the mind blowing sex he had with me in his affair with me during the marriage), was writing hot steamy sex stuff with her new boyfriend in emails and that he never had the chance to do those things with her in the marriage WTF? She said……..
There are so many things that hurt me because of those revelations….so many………
Today, I thought about it a little bit more, since it’s what bothers me the most, the sex. I gave him great sex, tried too, because he expected that and gave me the same sob story he fed love bomb about not having great sex with his wife. Again, I wasn’t a mention about the mind blowing sex I gave him for nine fucking years….
Not only did I think about this major “discrepancy” in his story to love bomb, but also about sex itself. It was the only time I felt we “connected”. Apparently, that wasn’t the case for him as he builds up his next victims. To tell your next victim that you fucked another woman for over half of yoru second marriage, would go over like a fart in church……….
Oh that hurts so. I’m dealing with that pain.
But I realized something else in thinking about him doing it with her. The visuals, the flashbacks, the imagination of what he’s doing with her in bed………
Then it dawned on me. I had an epiphany. I gave this man mindblowing sex believing his bullshit story. He’s not telling his new gf anything different. It’s the same bullshit story. She’s going to save him from his horrifying, sexually forfeited past with his ex wife, bullshit story. BASTARD!!! WHO DOES THAT BUT A SPATH??
SO anyway…..while it hurts like hell………I also realized, that a you (editorially speaking) can give your spath the most mindblowing, life altering sex around…….S and M, whatever is his pleasure…….
But guess what? Sex without love becomes BORING. Even S and M is like watching a time clock after awhile…….there is never enough sexual stimulation…………it’s never enough. It will NEVER be enough. Admittedly, I stopped wanting to give him what he wanted, moving to the next level of S and M, because it felt objectifying. I KNEW what my purpose was….
But if you can’t maintain it out of the bedroom people, you aren’t going to be able to maintain it IN the bedroom either.
So fucking WHAT? He’s having GREAT sex with her. Uh huh.
I give it six months and that will be over. Shorter if she’s one that he’s sucking up to for money. Even when we DID have mindblowing sex the way he wanted it……..when HE wanted it (and I always felt NERVOUS about having sex with him, which use to frustrated me, would he want me more if I had given in each time?), the “blissful feeling” he had, would last about a day or two before he was back to abusive mode in one form or another.
I don’t think they can pretend that long. But by then, we’re hooked……..hooked on pleasing them and not ourselves….I can count on ONE hand how many orgasms I had with this man, depriving myself of the multi orgasmic woman I am. I did better masturbating.
I knwo this sounds crude. But I hope that some of you, who may struggle with this, get something out of this enlightenment.
Sex is wonderful mechanically. But it can’t last unless there is the emotional component as the foundation. It will ALWAYS fall apart.
I think I lasted longer with spathy because I did not live with him.
Sex was non committal. I was the OW. Ex wife was simply used to uphold the image he wanted. He’s grooming the next wife, while also on dating sites to groom the next OW. I can’t prove it, but I just have a feeling.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
LL