Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they’re in love with them, and can’t get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions.
Now, there’s proof. A recent study found that “the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings,” according to Science Daily.
Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
Hope:
Kids have a resiliant and wise side…..and sometimes it’s just plane hard to see traits in them….especially when we are worried about them becoming like father spath.
I’ts important to nurture the good in them, and then hope for the best! Its’ a very uncomfortable ‘place’ to be …..wondering about your child!!!!
Dear MO152,
One of the most major parts of my healing has been to accept that what I felt was real and to honor that, regardless of what he did or didn’t feel, in this case, DIDN’T. I can’t change that and I know that no matter what, for me, it was still one of the greatest loves of my life…..And then one day, I woke up.
Much like others on here, it’s a moment, an epiphany, such as you have described. I looked at my ex with total disrespect, in fact, I could say he was the first person I truly hated. And it WAS an addiction, just as you said. I had turned good, healthy emotions into and addiction to false promises, lies, cheating, chaos and total confusion. I compare him to the worst drug, whatever that is, a person can be hooked on. I was hooked and it was ALL my choice.
But what I felt in the beginning was real, very real. And mine went on over the course of 10 years. I say that because I did leave him at times and then he would follow.
Now that he’s gone, I see more and more every day. I find it interesting that others are coming out of the woodwork these days and telling me things no one would have previously told me before. It was a LARGE myth that he spread that we were just having a rough time, he still loved my madly AND I still loved him; I just didn’t know it. HuH???? Whatever, dude. I couldn’t get him gone fast enough. And he’s still out there using drugs and conning others. Whenever I hear this, it says to me that I made all the right choices in the end, even though the ones I made BEFORE that were wrong.
Erin172, That is OUTRAGEOUS! regarding the patient’s records. That is very much against the law and I think Ox and others are giving you some good advice on here.
Buttons, I too agree with what you wrote to Erin about having a child. Erin, it will happen exactly when it’s meant to and I have found that certain things don’t happen when I want them to because God is actually protecting me from further harm and hurt. I can point to a dozen different incidents where this happened with my ex.
I am just grateful I’m truly awake today, have my sanity (sometimes) and that each day I wake up more and more often with a smile and not a stomach full of fear.
Hugs to all!
Cat
style1,
I went to that website and LOVE it! I now have it bookmarked. I hear what you are saying about the dream. It all was just a dream with mine. He was out doing unconscionable things while I was sitting there thinking I was in a real relationship. I have NEVER in my life had someone put such a twist on reality as the spath did. Unreal…just like they are.
Cat, glad that you like it.. pass the link along.. we are going to have some really interesting things coming up..
http://www.womenexplode.com
Cat is right about the waking up one day thing. It makes you wonder how other people don’t see it, then you remember, oh, wait…I didn’t, either. There have been so many times I’ve wanted to warn others, but I don’t think anyone sees it until that moment. Some people who are farther removed from it might never see it.
E72, You don’t need a witness, the computer itself will be the witness….. you saw these people VIOLATING the law. Would you keep your mouth shut if you saw one of them HIT as patient? I don”t think so. It is just the same, it is PATIENT ABUSE, and BREAKING the LAW, just like you are required to call CPS if you think a child has been molested, or any other felony crime, I think this one qualifies as well. It is a felony.’
If the hospital fires you for blowing the whistle on this—you are a rich woman. I bet Matt would come out of DC to be your attorney on that case! LOL
Am I crazy? This morning I wake up to his voice on the answering machime as clear as a bell..he says ‘Honey it’s me, I just want you to know I am thinking of you and I miss you’ I jump out of bed run to the phone and there was no message, no one had called, he doesnt even know my number..bad dream?
hens – it’s either a detox or a premonition. shit leaving or coming.
each time i step out more into the world the more she comes up to block me. i keep walking, but she comes with me lots.
i know you need to move out further into the world. maybe it’s that paradigm.
and if it is the other, be alert.
first day of job was weeeird. getting much better. lots of pain in my body, but i have made it through the week. well one more day. i have a job hens!
Henry, OF COURSE YOU ARE CRAZY, SWEETIE!
THAT’S WHY YOU ARE HERE AT LOVEFRAUD! What you had was a DREAM as you woke up! It happens! Don’t let it freak you out! It is kind of like your brain pulls a practical joke on you—like let’s see what we can do to freak old Henry out! hee hee.
I had my phone in my pocket the other day and I heard this VOICE like a radio off some where in the distance—forgot about the phone in the pocket—turned out I had punched enough buttons it was on voice mail, but sure freaked me out! I think we’re just a bit “jumpy” so just blow it off. Yea, we are ALL Crazy to one extent or another! B ut we luv you anyway!
or you might be certifiable. dunno. 🙂