A scientific review published last year summarized the research literature about female psychopaths. But I wonder about the accuracy of the underlying information.
Three researchers from Norway, Rolf Wynn, Marita H. Hoiseth, and Gunn Pettersen, recently published the review. They concluded that when compared to male psychopaths, female psychopaths more often seem to show emotional instability, verbal violence and manipulation of social networks, and less criminal behavior and instrumental violence.
This study, which is quite readable, it explains how the disorder is defined and diagnosed. If you’d like to be familiar with the scientific community’s views of psychopathy, it’s a good overview.
Here are some highlights regarding the disorder in women:
- There are more male psychopaths than female psychopaths.
- Women score lower than men on the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised.
- In one study, only 11% of female violent subjects, compared to 31% of male violent subjects, met the criteria for psychopathy.
- Studies found that 16% to 17.4% of female prisoners were diagnosed as psychopaths, compared to 20% to 25% of male prisoners.
- One study suggests that women who are manipulative tend to flirt, whereas men run scams and commit fraud.
- The criminal behavior of female psychopaths consists primarily of theft and fraud, whereas males often commit violence.
- Males more often show physical aggression, whereas females show relational and verbal aggression.
- Promiscuity in female psychopaths may be a means to gain financial or social benefits.
But here’s the problem: most scientific research about psychopaths both male and female is done on two groups of people. They are prisoners and college students.
Why? Because those are the people university researchers have access to.
So I wonder if their results are skewed based on the populations that they study. What about all of the psychopaths “in the community” people who aren’t in prison?
As we all know, many psychopaths don’t commit violence. Many are skilled at talking themselves out of trouble. So the research is being done only on people who are either violent enough, or stupid enough, to get caught and go to prison.
Lovefraud wants to present a more comprehensive picture with the “Female Sociopath” survey.
If you’ve been involved with a female sociopath in any type of relationship romantic partner, spouse, parent, child, family member, work colleague or acquaintance I invite you to complete the survey. Let’s create a complete picture of this disorder.
I knew immediately something was wrong, but I felt trapped
Thank you for doing this Donna! After wrapping up yet another exhausting weekend of having our female sociopath refuse to return the children to their father- who has custody, I am always astounded at how easily she manipulates the legal system. Things most men would get arrested for, she bats her eyelashes and explains how she got confused and throws her lawyer under the bus saying that he told her that she was entitled to have the children when both of them knew darn good and well that she was not so entitled. People roll over to give her the benefit of the doubt. She gets away with yet another violation that anyone else would have gotten sanctioned for.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that there are so many female sociopaths. In the late 1950s and early 60s, one of our influences was the “The Donna Reed Show”. As a young girl, I was told that she set the ideal example of the perfect wife and mother and I should strive to be more like her if I wanted to have a good marriage. Donna was a master of manipulation who ruthlessly controlled everyone around her with cruel mind games, sugar coated beneath a soft voice, lovely face and sweet smile. There were also other television influences, such as “The Nelsons” that embodied the virtues of manipulating, extorting, threatening and conniving to get what one wants. In many ways, during that time, women were taught to be “sociopathic”.
Thank you Donna! This is great to read you are taking proactive action to provide real world feedback to the researchers. Without information they will continue to operate on assumptions and in a vacuum.
It is really crazy what those people are capable of doing. I’m 5 weeks out (No Contact since the day of discard) of an almost 7 months relationship that was the weirdest experience in my life. By the time a woman who felt like a soul mate from the start is done ripping you apart out of nowhere (and then you think back and realize that “out of nowhere” started the day you told her how much she meant to you, so she knew she got you, so that’s when the real fun started for her) and then throwing you away like you never existed in her life, you have no idea which way is up, which way is down and why in the world this breakup doesn’t feel like any other breakup you have had. You fall behind at work to the point where your boss asks you what’s up. You lose 15 lbs in 6 weeks ’cause eating and sleeping isn’t happening. The worst part is that you get almost no understanding from most of your friends because they can’t comprehend what’s going on with you. You tell them you feel like you are going nuts and can’t understand what just happened to you, like you just lived through a 7 month long mirage. They pretty much agree – yeah, dude, you are nuts, you probably just misread the whole situation. WHAT??? If I am THAT blind, you may as well call me crazy! I am lucky one of my friends actually dealt with a sociopath before, so she urged me to read up. Once I did, I immediately knew it was one and only discard I will go through because no way I am going back for more of this. Can’t do this to myself again. But the self education really helped me catch myself. The first two weeks until I knew, I am surprised I wasn’t hit by a bus. I was just walking around like life didn’t exist around me. Knowledge is definitely power.
Hi Invictus –
You said: “The worst part is that you get almost no understanding from most of your friends because they can’t comprehend what’s going on with you. You tell them you feel like you are going nuts and can’t understand what just happened to you, like you just lived through a 7 month long mirage.”
Your statements resonate for me. I am 5 years out and I think you are doing very well to be able to sum up your experiencing so succinctly. I babbled for a long time (I got sick at the same time – chemical injuries, which affected my speech, writing and cognitive function – so THAT didn’t help). I know that I didn’t make a lot of sense to some people on LF – but my experience was also odd when viewed in light of others’ experiences; I was conned online and on the phone – the spath was never in my life physically.
‘Mirage’ is an apt term in many ways; something that wasn’t really there AND something I had been looking for in the dessert of my own unfulfilled needs. The spath interacted with me in such a way that I experienced both extreme emotional trauma AND fulfillment of several deeply personal and important unmet needs. The fulfillment however was only the sand of the mirage, which ran through my fingers and left me in agony. I closed down and walled off the possibility of fulfilling those needs; I protected myself to the point that my spath damaged ‘self’ further eroded. And this was from a short relationship, also. (Mind you the spath DID pretend to be a whole cast of characters and was pretending to be someone of a gender not her own AND did kill off AND resurrect that character…)
There has to be some good come out of what has happened – I just don’t know what it is, yet. I survived and as time goes on I learn more about the damage I need to deal with; her lying and manipulation left me severely damaged. She showed me something about what happens when bad people use power – what that looks like and what it does to our society. She left me feeling so terribly unsafe (that and the ongoing chemical sensitivities) in the world; it has had a profound affect on my life.
I have been able to identify 3 narcs and 1 spath since THE spath. Unfortunately the narcs are in my family; but the spath was someone I had to deal with in business – and man, was the company impressed when the strategies worked that I put into action.
In my business life I am always wary – people will f**k people when it is to their advantage, and call it ‘just business’. Makes me very angry just writing about it. In my private life I don’t let people in very deep now. I DID get my best friend ‘back’ – who I lost (along with others) because of the aftermath. We spent yesterday together out taking photographs on the beach in the crazy winter wind. I want so much more from people – even from my best friend – but asking for emotional transparency and intimacy not only seems a risk (as people generally are more reserved than I am in those departments) but risky for my emotional terrain.
I don’t post very often. Your remarks obviously sparked something for me; and I thank you for that.
I hope that your New Year is one of prosperity, clarity and strength.
best
One joy
I am really glad I found a few sites where I can interact with people and they actually get me because our experiences are so similar like we dated the same person or at least all of them work off the same playbook. I am not glad to see how many people actually get screwed over by these walking dead people who pretend to be alive. Yet, it is considered to be such a rare thing, people find it tough to believe.
In all the hours I spent researching this topic in the past month, I found something written by a psychiatrist with 30 years of experience dealing with people who are coming out of these “relationships” and I almost fell out of the chair. It was like he talked to me and wrote down my story. Take a look – http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7981.0;wap2
I thought back about some people who I used to deal with in my life. I can say with 100% certainty that my previous boss was one of them. All my co-workers couldn’t understand how a person who was completely incompetent could be on that level in a Fortune 500 company. She really had no idea what she was doing. Yet, she got promoted 3 times in a year and her bosses loved her while she treated people under her like complete crap. She would go through idolization-devalue-discard cycle with people. Nobody could understand how within a year somebody could go from the best guy ever to being fired. Now I know. She was working the same cycle with me too. I quit before she could discard me and during my exit interview told HR everything. The exit interview was so bad, HR refused to show it my former boss.
And last but not least. After more than 5 weeks of complete silence, she showed up yesterday, wishing me Merry Christmas. Using WhatsApp like we talked about it a couple of months ago. I was supposed to send her a picture a day from Europe on WhatsApp while visiting my family in Europe. Just like nothing happened, like she never disappeared on me after telling me in a text how good of a friend I am. I didn’t reply. I know silence drives them nuts ’cause they hate losing control. After what she turned me into over the past 5 weeks, after all the mental breakdowns I have had, the latest being two days ago when I just broke down in front of my sisters, crying my eyes out repeating “Why did she do this to me???” over and over like a nut… I think she deserves being nuts.
That’s a very good essay on that link, Invictus. Thanks for sharing it.
Invictus01,
I got the same message from some friends. Like I just ‘thought’ he was that into me. Wrong. He was telling me how into me he was. Lovebombing is something people don’t understand, until it happens to them, by someone who ‘gets their number’. It was certainly true for me. I can recall friends from the past who were targets, and how impatient I was for them to move on. My bad.
I knew something was ‘up’ from the beginning. What I didn’t understand was why I was feeling that way when I was being told I was ‘the one, finally, to come into his life that was worth it!’.
Good for you for doing what you can to really LET IT GO. I think that happens a little bit more easily when you understand what IT is.
Hey there Slim! Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!
Best
One Joy
I think female psychopaths blend in better. They fit societal norms, so go more often undetected. And people think men are more likely psychopaths (probably true, testosterone, you know).
Women psychopaths may do accepted things and blend in:
Go for wealthy, successful men — this is defined as success by many women and expected by wealthy, successful men. Wealthy, successful men are often willing to trade off a “hot” woman for paying for her and keeping her.
Not working — upper class veneer, all for the children and homemaking and extraordinary home
Social dynamo and social climber to help the busy man rise through social ranks and make friends, go to social events.
Look perfect and be sexy, make the man look good
Women often rule the roost, at least in the home
These behaviors are not unusual, so they don’t stand out.