Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader in the UK:
I wonder what your take on this pop-music video is? This song is played ad-infinitum on radio stations in the UK; you simply can’t escape it. What disturbs me is its indifference toward the glorification of sociopathic, even psychopathic, behaviour. Clearly the character the singer is playing out has a taste for control; inflicting degrading, humiliating behaviour, even torture, pain and —as the finale of the video suggests—murder; everything the UN Convention on Human Rights was meant to prevent.
The reader included a link to the song Sweet About Me, by Gabriella Cilmi, on YouTube. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElY5Gr845Fw
Quite frankly, the video is shocking.
It starts out like a typical music video with Cilmi singing in front of what appears to be a reggae-style garage band. We see quick cuts of young men—not part of the band—bopping their heads to the beat. Then, 40 seconds into the song, Climi sings the lyrics,
“Tell you something that I’ve found, that the world’s a better place when it’s upside down, boy.”
The camera shows a young man bound and hanging from the ceiling by his feet. We then get to the chorus:
“Sweet about me, nothing sweet about me, yeah.”
No kidding. Through the rest of the video, we see that six more men are bound, locked in a cage, strung up in a net and taped to the floor, and the singer loves every bit of it. As she says, there is truly nothing sweet about her.
16-year-old star
So who is this singer? Gabriella Cilmi is a 16-year-old singer from Australia. Sweet About Me, which she wrote, is her debut single, released in March, 2008. In May, her song knocked Madonna from the No. 1 spot on Britain’s top 10 chart.
An article in Australia’s Herald Sun newspaper on July 13, 2008, reported that Sweet About Me spent six weeks in the British top 10. On iTunes charts, Cilmi was No. 2 in Germany and Portugal, No. 3 in Switzerland and No. 5 in Italy.
I am appalled. Yes, the tune is catchy, but the lyrics and imagery of Sweet About Me are truly disturbing.
I suppose the same could be said about many music videos—especially the gangsta rap variety—but I don’t have first-hand knowledge because I don’t watch MTV. But when messages like “the climax of the perfect lie,” along with images of bondage and torture, are being glamorized, it’s no wonder that the world’s population of sociopaths seems to be growing.
Donna-
The culture is infested with this psycho dynamic. And I find it disturbing that a young woman is empowered by dominating. Though I have to say having grown up as a woman- I can see why young women are attracted to “turning-the-tables” but I have learned through this experience with psychos- I want no power and control games in my intimate relationships.
Watch Ingmar Bergman, Woody Allen, read Hemingway (there’s actually a clinical article on him as NPD) —-the sin of pride,narcissism, psychopathy, is the theme. Hemingway is taught in schools.
Dear holywater: This blogg is good for figuring out who and what is running for the highest office in our country. Their decision making affects the rest of us. Therefore, with that said … we can make wiser decisions when we cast our votes.
What I am seeing in the media is the spin doctors weaving their magic on Palin’s life … soccer mom, strong independent woman, church goer, yadda, yadda, yadda not saying she is mentally crippled with her own mental health issues of Narcissism and what other afflictions she has and hasn’t looked at herself to know she has to work them out with a mental health professional.
Peace.
It is upsetting to me that the media glamourizes violence, sex, drugs etc. under “free speech,” but it is “make a buck” and has great influence on young teenagers who want to be “cool.” They wouldn’t be able to do this if it “didn’t sell.” Obviously it DOES SELL.
There is no longer ANY censorship that I am aware of on violence, language, or “perversions” depicted in music or videos. So we are then “shocked” at what our kids are doing with sex, drugs, etc.
IN the US many parents are home or private schooling their kids to keep them out of the sight of a great deal of the “media” but it is still “piped into” most homes, or available on the Internet. One of my friend’s kids had a neighbor kid whose parents had tried to get him off of internet porno (he’s 12) and he would come to my friend’s house after school and get on the computer THERE and go to the GRAPHIC PORNO sites, until finally my friend’s son told him what was going on with this kid.
I realize that especially in our society, sex is not always taught as it should be, but exposing kids to nasty porno at a young age (and kids are curious after all, especially about this) isn’t going to do them any “good” for sure.
Parenting today (and thank God I am not faced with that task right now) has got to be a very difficult job, even more so than when the media wasn’t quite as bad during the time when I was raising mine.
Oxy: I learned all this in my managerial classes … especially hiking up the heat during the holiday shopping season … the higher heat makes the shopper uncomfortable without understanding why … therefore, grab anything as a gift to give, pay for it and get out of the store … next customer. Same with all the baloney that’s been on TV since the end of the 80’s. Yes, it is for selling purposes (sex sells), but it’s also to confuse the masses … controlling techniques … so busy putting out the fires … don’t have time to look up at who’s controlling all this, who’s allowing it to go on?
Nuf said. There are more tactics that are used to control the masses … tune in.
Peace.
Oxy: I meant 60s, not 80’s. Sorry for the typo. I’m tired, I’m logging off.
I’m thinking Phil Collins must have been married to a S/P. I was listening to “That’s All”, and it just really sounds like someone we all know..he has a couple of other tracks that sound like the musings of one hurt by an S/P too.. and some of his later stuff sounds so angry, bitter and hurt.
I dunno this video seemed a little tongue in cheek to me, like she is getting revenge for all the videos showing men abusing women. Don’t hate me, but I thought it was kind of funny, and pretty tame compared to most american videos.. which I can’t even bring myself to watch anymore.
My fav song by Carly Simon: “You probably think the song is about you, don’t you…YOU’RE SO VAIN”
hahahahah…written about Warren Beatty…
There’s a message in the song that should be heeded: that sociopaths lurk underneath the most innocent and attractive surfaces and that one should be wary of them. It doesn’t celebrate sociopathic behaviour, it spreads the word on how dangerous they are.
I had to chime in because I am kind of horrified that this is an issue. Art is meant to reflect the times so stop shooting the messenger. It’s dangerous business to censor art.
Is that what is being suggested? ( I hear only criticism, not solutions offered here- very very negative huh?)
http://fcit.usf.edu/HOLOCAUST/arts/artdegen.htm
So a sixteen year old girl is singing a song that satirises the time? (she’s not the only one). Maybe she’s a volunteer puppet of the powers that be (in this case xenomania- an organisation said to embrace all cultures- and provided the lyrics and production for the singer). That’s not so unusual, the monkees were similarly used in the 60’s.
And what is the time? May I remind you (especially the Americans posting here) that the world is on fire right now? You represent a nation that invaded a sovereign country. You represent a nation who went against the UN to do so. You represent a nation who tortured people at Abu Ghraib. I think the real tragedy is that you choose to focus on a song you don’t like, rather than the fact that millions are in misery because of what is happening in Iraq. That is sociopathic in my mind.
It makes me want to cry and vomit all at once to think that people from a country that has caused so much misery in the world gets all uppity and self righteous about a song! The rest of the west who got suckered in along with America need to think seriously about what we represent too.
I say let the youth express themselves. The times are tragic and sociopathic, and so that will be expressed in art (sexuality too!) There are young men and women dying, for real right now. There are young men who are indeed being stood on and tied up, just because you don’t like to see it, doesn’t mean you can keep on ignoring it. The stupid American “nuke ’em ’til their pants are on fire” dominating the world redneck attitude is OVER.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoleMx-sxqQ&feature=related
If you don’t like the song, don’t watch it and don’t listen to it.
Simple.
But don’t do the same thing with this war. Don’t pretend it isn’t happening and that you had nothing to do with it. You did. And it’s the kids who are going to have to clean up our mess.
You can make a fuss over a song? Are you kidding me? Make a fuss over the things that truly matter. People’s physical lives matter more than your passing sense of self righteousness. The real pornography is war. Let the artists wake the sleeping world up.
Why don’t you ban wars instead of art?
strong faith
here’s a list of other songs people were “offended by” and “shocked by” and tried to ban.
“I’m fixin to die rag”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBdeCxJmcAo
“when I’m cleanin’ windows” (about voyeurism no less- shock – awe!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfmAeijj5cM
Masochism tango (Tom Lehrer)!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TytGOeiW0aE