In March, 2006, Ala Bashir, a personal physician to Saddam Hussein, published a book called The Insider: Trapped In Saddam's Brutal Regime. For 20 years, Bashir was part of Hussein's inner circle. Saddam had invited Bashir, a plastic surgeon, to join his medical team—an invitation that could not be refused. It was also impossible to quit, even when Bashir feared for his life. So for 20 years, Bashir witnessed the dictator's behavior. “He was certainly a psychopath: friendly and polite, but ruthless toward his enemies and challengers,” Bashir said in an interview with Helsingin Sanomat, a Finnish newspaper. “I do not believe that Saddam Hussein regretted the suffering he caused the Iraqi peopl …
The Inner Triangle: a means of understanding sociopaths
April, 2003, nearly four years ago, the police removed my then husband from my office in handcuffs. Following his arrest, the stories came rolling in. People called to say, “I never told you this but”¦” When the shock of it all wore off, I had to admit I had failed to make the most important diagnosis of my life, that of sociopathy in the man I married. I knew I had to understand, for the sake of my son and myself, why I missed this diagnosis. What did I not understand about sociopathy? Sociopathic traits versus sociopathy I have always been very well read in my field, so the problem was not that I was unfamiliar with DSM diagnostic criteria, The Mask of Sanity, or Without Conscience. I als …
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I grieve for myself and let the psychopath go
When someone dies, we grieve. The process is well-documented, the steps clearly defined though seldom straight-forward. We each journey through the process at our own speed, in our own time. But, regardless of our pace, we must go through each step to come to that place where we can be at peace with only the memories of the one we loved to warm our hearts, as we learn to accept that they have gone forever as we move on. We start with disbelief. It cannot be true. They cannot be gone. We are in denial. And then we move into anger. How could they have left us! Why me? Why them? Why now? Why? Why? Why? Anger gives way to bargaining, trying to find some way to reach peace with the inevitable …
Is Bishop Terry Hornbuckle a psychopath?
Lovefraud received an e-mail from a reader who nominated Bishop Terry Hornbuckle, of the Dallas, Texas area, to be profiled as a True Lovefraud Story. I had not heard of the good bishop. But after reading the news coverage about him, our reader may be right. Terry Hornbuckle—apparently he appointed himself as bishop—was the founder and charismatic leader of the Agape Christian Fellowship, a megachurch in Arlington, Texas. He preached a message of prosperity, which turned out to be beneficial for the bishop—he and his wife, Pastor Renee Hornbuckle, owned expensive homes and drove luxury cars. In March, 2005, Hornbuckle was arrested and charged with three counts of rape. He was later charg …
Why have sociopaths failed to develop a conscience?
Sociopaths are described as individuals “without conscience.” Specifically, sociopaths lack conscience because they are unable to experience guilt and empathy. To understand how sociopathy develops, we must understand how guilt and empathy develop. Scientists have begun to understand how guilt develops in children. Studies show that children who experience the most fear experience the most guilt. Children who are fearless have little guilt and less inhibition when it comes to violating rules. Is fearlessness inborn? It seems that fearlessness is an inborn trait, as children under a year old have been identified with this trait. There are however, researchers who believe that some of our ch …
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Telling our stories of being targeted by sociopaths
Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. They purposely drain the life out of people and then throw them away. Despite their charming and charismatic veneer, they are evil to the core. In my opinion, the people who truly understand this personality disorder are those who felt the full brunt of sociopathic deceit, and then woke up to the truth. We, the former targets, remember the promises of love and luxury, and how it all seemed so possible. We remember the confusion—how reality didn't match the promises, and the excuses that explained away the discrepancies. We remember attempting to express misgivings, only to be told we were crazy. We, the former targets, also remember t …
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Child victims of sociopathic parents
The benefits of a relationship with both parents depend on the quality of care the parents can provide. This fact is illustrated in the following story: FREMONT, Calif. - A 6-year-old boy abducted from his mother was returned home safely Friday after his father was arrested 200 miles away in the Sacramento Valley, police said. Ralph Baldenegro, 56, was arrested near Red Bluff and was being held at the Tehama County Jail. Baldenegro allegedly broke into his estranged wife's house, beat and handcuffed her, and kidnapped the boy Thursday night, said Fremont Detective Bill Veteran. He also hit his 14-year-old stepdaughter.” Read full story. The news is full of stories like the one above t …
Healing from an encounter with a psychopath. It’s all in my perceptions.
Recently I was hired to write a script for a video on Mammography. While working on the voice-overs, the actress hired to do the narration kept stumbling on one line. I knew it sounded awkward but was having trouble changing it. The Director and I looked at the sentence -- The fact that the screening mammogram might have saved her life, is not a myth. It's a fact. “It's the word, fact. It appears twice in the sentence and makes it awkward,” I said. We struggled for some minutes to think of a word to replace it with, but couldn't find one that fit. “We can't change the last two phrases,” I said. “They have to go together because that's the power statement. It's not a myth. It's a fact. We' …
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Victim alerts others about con artist Brian Ellington
Eve Hawkins of Queens, New York City, first contacted Lovefraud in absolute frustration. She said her ex-boyfriend was a con artist, she brought 200 pages of evidence to her local NYPD precinct, and the cops did nothing. I asked Eve to tell me a little more about her story. To my surprise, she sent me an 8,000-word narration: How she met Brian Ellington. How he wormed his way into living with her. The stories and lies Ellington told. How she struggled to get rid of him. How she finally succeeded. Eve's story captured the confusion, mixed emotions, anger and frustration known by anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath. Her story was so passionate and so well-written that I decided …
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Children of sociopaths are twice cursed
Many have declared that the lack of a conscience is the defect that defines sociopathy. Therefore, understanding how the conscience forms will lead us to better understand this disorder. Researchers currently discuss two basic pathways to conscience formation. The first and most common path to conscience is through guilt. Conscience through guilt develops from fear of punishment. Children who are genetically at risk for sociopathy are often fearless and so have little or no guilt, as discussed last week. The second path to conscience The second path to conscience is through empathy. A fearless child can have a conscience if he develops empathy. Conscience through empathy is called the …