How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for 2007

Veterans Day wake-up call: Sociopaths as military impostors

//  by //  96 Comments

Every Sunday my local newspaper, the Press of Atlantic City, prints the names of servicemen and women who died the previous week in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Sunday, I make myself read the names. It's the least I can do to honor their sacrifice. Today, Veterans Day, the newspaper printed a story about a local young man, a private, killed in Baghdad six months ago. I'm afraid I couldn't read the story—it was too upsetting. Veterans Day was always important to my ex-husband, James Montgomery. He wanted to show his patriotism and commemorate the comrades he lost in Vietnam as a member of the Australian military. In fact, when we met, 25 years after Vietnam, Montgomery claimed he was still …

Veterans Day wake-up call: Sociopaths as military impostorsRead More

Sociopaths and Psychopaths: Have you no shame?

//  by //  17 Comments

Shame, along with guilt, embarrassment and pride, is a moral emotion. Shame is the emotion we experience when we discover a defect in ourselves. The expression of shame is a submissive response. It is an acknowledgment to others of the defect and the decline in our status that results from the defect. This submissive response shows to others our attempts to conform, improve ourselves, apologize, and make amends. Early experts in psychopathy documented that the absence of shame is part of the disorder. According to Dr. Cleckley, author of The Mask of Sanity, psychopaths are incapable of feeling shame. Because they do not feel shame, they blame everyone else for their problems. “The …

Sociopaths and Psychopaths: Have you no shame?Read More

BOOK REVIEW: How to Spot a Dangerous Man

//  by //  198 Comments

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader: I have been involved with a man for the past seven years. We don't live together but he has stayed at my home on and off. Anything rotten in a relationship I have had to deal with--lies, cheating, humiliation, emotional abuse and financial, not that he took money from me but sponged off a single mother. This man makes good money and has never made a commitment to anyone, lots of broken promises and excuses. He has a problem with breaking the connection with me, always trying to get back in and regain his supply. I believe this man is a psychopath/narcissist. I have reverted to just trying to remain friends but I don't think for him …

BOOK REVIEW: How to Spot a Dangerous ManRead More

My sister is a sociopath

//  by //  37 Comments

This is a true story told to me by one of my University students. Marisol describes life with her sister, a sociopath: My stepfather sexually molested me when I was eight. My sister who was nine, was also molested; I know because I saw him go to her. We never talked about what happened. When she was 20, I asked her and she denied it then admitted it happened to her when I said I saw him. My father was shot and killed when we were very young. He used drugs and had a bad temper, so someone shot him. My sister was always wild when we were growing up. We fought a lot and there wasn't much affection in my family. My sister has been sexually promiscuous since her teen years. I never had any …

My sister is a sociopathRead More

“Cybersharks,” on Canadian TV, includes a Lovefraud story

//  by //  7 Comments

W-FIVE, the top Canadian investigative TV journalism show, will include the story of Liz Cole, a Lovefraud reader, in its Cybersharks episode airing Saturday, November 3 at 7 p.m. The program reveals the real dangers of online dating. In this episode, W-FIVE's Victor Malarek uncovers cases where women who met potential suitors through online dating services were later conned for thousands of dollars, and in some cases, forced to endure extensive physical and mental abuse. W-FIVE cameras are rolling as Malarek tracks down one known criminal and online predator. The show will air on Saturday, November 3 at 7 p.m. (EDT) on CTV network in Canada and will be repeated on Sunday, November 4 at 5 …

“Cybersharks,” on Canadian TV, includes a Lovefraud storyRead More

BOOK REVIEW: Silent Partner, by the wife of former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey

//  by //  6 Comments

"At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is. And so, my truth is that I am a gay American." That's how the former governor of New Jersey, James McGreevey, came out to the world in a press conference on August 13, 2004, as reported by CNN. McGreevey announced that he was being blackmailed because of an affair with a man and was resigning. During the press conference, the governor's wife, Dina Matos McGreevey, stood at his side, with a weird smile pasted on her face. She was obviously shell-shocked. The McGreeveys had started dating in …

BOOK REVIEW: Silent Partner, by the wife of former New Jersey Governor James McGreeveyRead More

Sociopathy and psychopathy: The two most difficult questions to answer.

//  by //  18 Comments

People frequently ask me questions about human behavior, this is natural because I'm a psychiatrist and people hope I'll have some answers. I've observed a pattern in the questions that people ask me. Often, I will give an answer I am sure is scientifically and clinically correct. At some point later, the person will come back to me and ask the same question again, perhaps phrased a little differently. This process is repeated several times until I am able to figure out why the person does not feel satisfied by my answer. Questions about sociopaths and psychopaths are often very difficult to answer in a way that brings closure to the question. The most frequently- asked questions where …

Sociopathy and psychopathy: The two most difficult questions to answer.Read More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath

//  by //  45 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader. I believe my soon to be ex-wife is a sociopath (Sp). I was the recent victim of an evil plot to move my family to Washington from Texas, but two and a half months before the big move, with my house sold, I caught her, the Sp, in Washington with another guy looking for property, through a series of intercepted emails. This was one of two trips the Sp had taken, lying about the trip, saying she was going on a job interview. After I confronted her about the infidelity, I filed for divorce and took it upon myself to avoid any further confrontation with the Sp. I vacated the house and set up a visitation schedule with my …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopathRead More

Sociopaths as parents (part 3): Hostility spreads!

//  by //  86 Comments

Scientists now believe that the set of personality traits that cause sociopathy develops in people with genetic risk. But research also shows that genetics alone cannot account for the presence of sociopathy in our society. Sociopathy is caused by an interaction between genes and environment. In my opinion, many kids are twice cursed by genetics. The same genes that put them at risk also give them at least one unfit parent. This unfit parent creates an environment where the genes that produce sociopathy can become manifest. In part 1 of this series, I listed several parenting behaviors that foster the development of sociopathy. This week we will discuss the trait anger and hostility that …

Sociopaths as parents (part 3): Hostility spreads!Read More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Once upon a time, I would do anything for love, but not anymore

//  by //  48 Comments

Editor's note: This essay was submitted to the Lovefraud Blog by a reader who comments as "AlohaTraveler." I have thought about this for a long time. I have decided I am not going to tell you my story, at least not today. I have read the stories of other contributors and even more of visitors who have just discovered this site and posted their story in the blog comments. Believe me, I understand the need to tell someone what he/she did to you and your life. You just want someone to understand, because you don't. You don't understand why he did what he did. But worse, you don't understand why you let it happen or why you tolerated the intolerable far beyond reason. You don't know why you …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Once upon a time, I would do anything for love, but not anymoreRead More