Back in the 70s, Rodney Alcala was a contestant on The Dating Game. He won, but the woman who chose him refused to go out with him. It was probably a good thing, because in February Alcala was found guilty of murdering four women and a child. Read Convicted serial killer won on "Dating Game" on CNN.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Our relationship had three distinct phases
Editor's Note: This story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who we'll call “Marcia.” I met him on Chemistry.com in February of 2009. He wrote to me through the site and we corresponded several times before speaking on the phone. I liked his profile very well and enjoyed his style of writing and what he wrote in our correspondence. When we spoke on the phone, we had no problem starting and maintaining a conversation on the phone. He was articulate, intelligent and had all the time in the world for me. We met on March 6, 2009 for a drink. I got there first and very symbolic of our relationship, he blindsided me and sneaked behind me and playfully grabbed the back of my neck. The …
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Why we fall for the con
All of us who have been conned by sociopaths ask ourselves, why did I fall for it? How could I have been so stupid to trust him (or her)? Well, it turns out that there's a chemical reason—oxytocin. According to an article on Psychologytoday.com: Social interactions engage a powerful brain circuit that releases the neurochemical oxytocin when we are trusted and induces a desire to reciprocate the trust we have been shown—even with strangers. Read How to run a con, on Psychologytoday.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
The “Clark Rockefeller” story
Remember Clark Rockefeller? He claimed to be from the rich and famous family and married Sandra Boss, the highly paid McKinsey management consultant. Boss divorced him and won custody of their child. On July 27, 2008, he abducted the girl. He was caught, charged with kidnapping and found guilty. Then it turned out that Rockefeller wasn't who he said he was. His real name was Christian Gerhartsreiter, he was an illegal alien from Germany, and he may have committed murder. The Clark Rockefeller story is again in the media. Vanity Fair magazine published a story called The Man in the Rockefeller Suit. And, Lifetime TV is premiering a new movie, Who Is Clark Rockefeller?, on March 13, …
Self-help guru files suit against guy who dumped her
Karen Salmansohn, author of How to Be Happy, Dammit and about 20 other self-help books, got scammed by a guy who paid for her fertility treatments, but when she was pregnant, dumped her. See story in the New York Daily News. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
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Could the Chelsea King murder have been prevented?
Last week, the body of Chelsea King, a 17-year-old high school student from Poway, California, near San Diego, was discovered in a shallow grave. She went for a run in a park on February 25, 2010, and never returned. John Albert Gardner III, of nearby Lake Elsinore, was charged with her murder and rape, or attempted rape. Gardner was a convicted sex offender. In May 2000, he pleaded guilty to molesting a 13-year-old girl. In that case, he was a month shy of his 21st birthday. The victim knew Gardner—they had been neighbors. She and a friend were waiting for a school bus when Gardner drove up and offered them a ride. He then lured the victim to his mother's townhouse to watch a …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Taking the sociopath to the mat
Editor's Note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Questions to ask yourself when you want to go after a sociopath By Fred Dunsing, Attorney at Law Fred Dunsing profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a counselor. I'm a lawyer. Therefore, I'm wholly unqualified to write about sociopaths and the specifics of their mental health disorder. I do, however, understand the definition of sociopath and generally understand what constitutes sociopathic behavior. I have seen many of these individuals during my years in practice as a family law attorney, and I can …
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The sociopath’s pseudo insightfulness and sensitivity
Sociopaths who posture as insightful and self-aware are some of the most dangerous predators around. When I use the terms pseudo insightful and pseudo sensitive, I'm referring to the sociopath's manipulative efforts to seem some combination of vulnerable, self-aware, sensitive and compassionate. For some sociopaths this deception is conscious, while for others it is so seamlessly woven into their modus operandi as to feel (for them), at least in the moment, almost authentic. Even the normal individual, low in sociopathic traits, may struggle to distinguish his deception from authenticity when finding himself “performing” in a mode in which he feels masterfully confident and …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How I got away from the sociopath
Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a reader who we'll call “Lia.” For years I felt like my life was thrown in a blender and chopped up in little pieces and those pieces included my heart, my career, my health, my sanity, my friends and my family. My first encounter with the sociopath was at NYU medical center's ER, while my 3-year-old son was being looked at for a bump in the head. This young intern doctor took a lot of interest in me and in my son's well being. After recently having ended my marriage, it felt good that a guy would become so enraptured by me. At the time I was legally separated from my husband, although my ex-husband and I remained friends and even …
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Last chance to fill out the sociopath survey
If you haven't yet completed the Lovefraud survey about your experience with a sociopath, do it now. The survey will close the evening of Wednesday, March 3, 2010. Lovefraud will submit the results to the American Psychiatric Association. The association is preparing the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5), which mental health professionals use to diagnose mental conditions. It includes a new definition of sociopaths/psychopaths. Our survey asks you to rate how well the definition matches what you experienced in your involvement with a disordered person. We are seeking input from both men and women. Hundreds of Lovefraud readers have …