Archives for February 2011

One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed. We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal. We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths. In my opinion, a big reason for the public's unawareness of, and …

Sociopath, psychopath – Lovefraud’s proposal for naming the disorderRead More

I was with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, for two and a half years. During this time, I knew he was costing me money, but he attributed his lack of business success to “being ahead of his time.” I eventually discovered that he was lying and cheating on me. But although I saw eruptions of anger, my ex was never abusive towards me—nothing like the abuse many of you have endured. Some sociopaths can treat people reasonably well for an extended period of time, if it suits their purpose. For example, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S. Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two, when …

Sociopaths keep the charade going for awhileRead More

Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I'll be doing my first three classes next month. Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you're dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control. We've discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, …

LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Relationship survey for Lovefraud readersRead More

Sitting with an antisocial or sociopathic client is an interesting experience—for a while, anyway, until it grows tedious”¦almost boring. There is the initial curiosity about, and fascination with, the client's antisocial behaviors”¦their nature”¦breadth. Perhaps there's even a certain rubbernecking interest in the train-wreck of moral turpitude these clients present—with their staggering patterns of ethical and moral debaseness. Admittedly, it can be breathtaking, on certain levels, to behold the magnitude of their abuse of others' boundaries and dignity, accompanied by missing feelings of accountability and remorse. And the interest in the experience with such clients persists a bit …

Sitting with the sociopathic clientRead More