How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

Sociopath, psychopath – Lovefraud’s proposal for naming the disorder

//  180 Comments

One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed. We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal. We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths. In my opinion, a big reason for the public's unawareness of, and …

Sociopath, psychopath – Lovefraud’s proposal for naming the disorderRead More

Becoming aware of our strengths

//  275 Comments

By Ox Drover I got to thinking today about being stronger now than I was prior to the last experience with the psychopaths in my life ”¦ but when I really got to thinking about it, I realized I have actually always been as strong as I am now, I just didn't know it or take advantage of it. One of the reasons that humans are able to work horses, mules and oxen to pull heavy loads is because the beasts we use for our labor do not realize their strength. They don't realize the absolute brute force power they have over us. We “control” them because they allow it. Why do they allow it? The answer is because they are not aware of the strength and power that they have, so they allow us to …

Becoming aware of our strengthsRead More

Review of ‘Love Fraud’ on the Psychopathy Awareness blog

//  577 Comments

Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called "Psychopathy Awareness," and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons. In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, "I didn't think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna's book proved me wrong." Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness. Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store. …

Review of ‘Love Fraud’ on the Psychopathy Awareness blogRead More

LETTERS TO LOVERAUD: I will work on whom not to trust or love

//  181 Comments

Editor's note: Here is Part 2 of yesterday's article, “Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I'm fine,” written by a reader who posts as “Jen.” Okay, so I had a crappy childhood, but I survived it. I came out of it okay. I have had what I now think might have been sociopaths in my life from time to time as friends, lovers, or family. At the time, I had no clue what they were, but I did know they were screwed up. I quickly rid parasites from my life after I figured out they were just out to use people. I was strong, and I was no way going to be surrounded by meanness. So, 2 years after my divorce, I ran into an ex from 20 years prior. I was down in the dumps when I …

LETTERS TO LOVERAUD: I will work on whom not to trust or loveRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I’m fine

//  2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefaud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “Jen.” I think something must be wrong with me. Wait, I KNOW something is wrong with me, but I don't think it is all that bad.  I think it is the 'bad' people in the world that make it that way. Part 1- My Screwed Up Childhood! I went through a lot of abuse as a child. Not from my parents, but from the people around them. I do blame my parents for putting their children in situations that were wrong. My parents split when I was about 3 and my younger brother was almost 1. My dad and I were real close, and it was very hard for me when they split up. My dad was in his early 20s and a partier. My mom …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I’m fineRead More

Sociopaths keep the charade going for awhile

//  830 Comments

I was with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, for two and a half years. During this time, I knew he was costing me money, but he attributed his lack of business success to “being ahead of his time.” I eventually discovered that he was lying and cheating on me. But although I saw eruptions of anger, my ex was never abusive towards me—nothing like the abuse many of you have endured. Some sociopaths can treat people reasonably well for an extended period of time, if it suits their purpose. For example, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S. Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two, when …

Sociopaths keep the charade going for awhileRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Looking into the eyes of a conman

//  14 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as “Eclipse.” I met the P at the end of 2004. We both worked out at a local gym close to my home. I had been going through a divorce for about a year. I confided to him about my 19-year marriage, of abuse. We became friends for about six months. We then became involved and were falling for each other. He told me he was in a bad relationship, and that he was married, eight months into our relationship. He told me he was trapped and was trying to get a divorce. He told me how his wife was controlling and mentally abusive to him; he was denied any affection. So knowing he is on his way for a divorce, I agreed to …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Looking into the eyes of a conmanRead More

LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Relationship survey for Lovefraud readers

//  348 Comments

Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I'll be doing my first three classes next month. Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you're dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control. We've discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, …

LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Relationship survey for Lovefraud readersRead More

Heal your heart for Valentine’s Day

//  302 Comments

For people who feel like their love lives are lacking, Valentine's Day can be really miserable. I know. I spent far more years of my adult life alone than I spent attached. Pining for romance makes us vulnerable to the sweet nothings of the sociopath. Of course, we don't realize when we hear those smooth, silky words that they literally are nothings—empty promises. We think they're the answers to our prayers. Our dreams come true. Then, at some point, we shockingly discover that our “relationship” with Prince or Princess Charming is nothing but a cruel mirage. We've been tricked. We find ourselves once again single, but now we're also carrying whatever additional devastation the …

Heal your heart for Valentine’s DayRead More

Sitting with the sociopathic client

//  309 Comments

Sitting with an antisocial or sociopathic client is an interesting experience—for a while, anyway, until it grows tedious”¦almost boring. There is the initial curiosity about, and fascination with, the client's antisocial behaviors”¦their nature”¦breadth. Perhaps there's even a certain rubbernecking interest in the train-wreck of moral turpitude these clients present—with their staggering patterns of ethical and moral debaseness. Admittedly, it can be breathtaking, on certain levels, to behold the magnitude of their abuse of others' boundaries and dignity, accompanied by missing feelings of accountability and remorse. And the interest in the experience with such clients persists a bit …

Sitting with the sociopathic clientRead More