By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) We have recently been discussing on Lovefraud the judicial system that is supposed to protect our children from abuse, even from abuse by their parents, who are supposed to love and protect them. The case of Josh Powell murdering his sons has brought this topic not only to the headlines, but to the front of our own thinking about psychopathic parents. Of course, not all parents are loving, protective parents, as proven by Josh Powell's recent murder of his two sons in a dramatic fashion, after possibly murdering their mother. There was ample evidence, I think, that Josh was violence prone, starting when he attacked his mother with a knife when he was a …
Dancing With Myself
It's Valentines Day today — a day that, I'm quite sure, can generate bittersweet memories for many. If I choose to think about this festival only in association with the traditional interpretations of cupid, love, relationships, romance and all that entails then yes, I could indeed become sad and morbid myself. I might be tempted to dwell on the past and mourn the ”˜what if' scars that are the war wounds I usually wear with pride. It's even possible that I might even fall in to the trap of once again berating myself for allowing myself to be duped”¦ Associations. Thoughts. Patterns. Behaviours. These are all fascinating tools that I honestly believe are here with an intention to serve us w …
Getting off the Valentine’s Day rollercoaster
Come Valentine's Day, many unattached people, or people in less-than-fulfilling relationships, may be willing to accept less than they really deserve, just to have a few crumbs of "romance." Sarah Strudwick writes that perhaps it's time for a change. Read: Happy pathological free Valentines Day, on WakingYouUp.wordpress.com. …
Lessons from the Josh Powell inferno
Last week, the Josh Powell story exploded in the media. Powell, of Graham, Washington, was supposed to have a supervised visit with his two young sons. Instead, he slammed the door in the face of the social worker, hacked the boys with a hatchet, and then blew up his house. Powell and the two sons died. I watched three news shows about the tragedy—Dateline on MSNBC, 20/20 on ABC, and Dr. Drew on HLN (Headline News). All of the programs reflected shock, horror and outrage. Dr. Drew Pinsky did actually call Josh Powell a psychopath. But what struck me about the coverage was that this tragedy was almost predictable. All the warning signs were there, if anyone had a complete picture of what w …
The Gray Rock method of dealing with psychopaths
Editor's note: At the request of readers, the Lovefraud member "Skylar" has contributed the following article. When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it's commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible. There are some situations however, when No Contact is not feasible, as in when you share child custody with a psychopath. As another example, if you are being stalked by an ex, a restraining order can infuriate the unwanted suitor, and refusing to respond to him …
A petition to save a child’s life
A few years ago, I met Dr. Ariel King at the Battered Mothers Conference in Albany, New York. Her story is one of the worst involving an at-risk child that I have ever heard. Dr. King's 8-year-0ld daughter, Ariana-Leilani, has an extremely rare and dangerous disease, severe chronic neutropenia. She wants to care for her little girl, but she can't, because Ariana-Leilani is now in the physical custody of her husband. Because Dr. King is American and her daughter and husband are German nationals, the case is stuck in international limbo. The website is www.Ariana-Leilani.org with the petition for Ariana-Leilani. The following articles tell the story: A UH Alumni in the fight for her …
The Ducking Stool
This week I'm inspired to write after receiving a distressing email from a friend of mine on Saturday night. This particular friend of mine is, like all of us here, someone who knows what it's like to be conned and manipulated. Like so many of us, she struggled to make sense of what had happened — the explanations coming just as hard to herself as to her friends and family. Particularly, of course, those who had known her sociopathic husband and had also been taken in by his charming lies. This particular lady, though, rather than hide herself away or hope things would just disappear, instead decided to write a book about her experiences. Now translated in to several languages, her story h …
Red Flags in the news again
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Last week I wrote an article about the captain of the sunken Italian ship who said he “fell into a life boat by accident” and that was why he got off the ship very early, not waiting for the rescue efforts. It also turned out this married man was with his lover and was drunk at the time the ship was steered, on his command, closer than normal to an island so he could show it off to the residents and his friends there, crashing it into known rocks. Even after the ship had hit the rocks and was stuck, he denied to the company and potential rescuers that anything other than an electrical “black out” occurred and delayed even issuing an “abandon ship” until …
When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I guess I am making a “confession” here of being a wimp, or maybe an enabler, for the majority of my life. But when people would ask me for a “favor,” I would almost always do it, even if it meant that I had to cancel plans of my own that I would much rather have done. In other words, by saying “yes” to my friends and family, I was saying “no” to myself. Shopping on Mondays After my husband died I cared for my stepfather during his long battle with cancer. In fact, I cancelled my “life” and my own grieving for my husband to voluntarily be there for him. I wanted to be there for him. However, after his death and a reasonable period of time, I realized …
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The Confusion of a Child of A Sociopath
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My father appeared to be a very successful business man. Our family lived in a home on Biscayne Bay, had money and was very well known. He served as a pilot in the Air Force, was very good looking and extremely charming. From the outside, our life looked almost perfect. Like any young boy, I idolized my dad. When in his presence, I was almost hypnotized by him. I was extremely attracted to the way he approached life. I guess it's normal for a boy to want to be just like his father. I wanted to believe everything that he told me. As best I could tell, he treated me …