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By | February 16, 2012 12 Comments

The Wisdom of Solomon

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

We have recently been discussing on Lovefraud the judicial system that is supposed to protect our children from abuse, even from abuse by their parents, who are supposed to love and protect them. The case of Josh Powell murdering his sons has brought this topic not only to the headlines, but to the front of our own thinking about psychopathic parents.

Of course, not all parents are loving, protective parents, as proven by Josh Powell’s recent murder of his two sons in a dramatic fashion, after possibly murdering their mother. There was ample evidence, I think, that Josh was violence prone, starting when he attacked his mother with a knife when he was a teenager. His wife’s testimony to her friends of his abuse before she disappeared is more evidence that Josh was violent. Violence against others, even if not directly shown to be against the children, should demonstrate that a person is not a good candidate to be a nurturing parent.

While in theory it might be a “good idea” to help a person become a better parent, children are not items that can be put into cold storage (foster care or alternative homes) then taken out and put back with the parent, and if it doesn’t work, put back into storage for a while, while the parent gets their act together, then the child brought out again for another attempt at “reunification” of the family. Children need a steady, stable, loving home in which they are secure and know that that home will not be lost.

Most judges are attorneys, not psychologists, and even the psychologists who are “trained” and “educated” in dealing with parents and children and the court systems, still have their own agendas and biases about what is “ideal.”

King Solomon

One of the great stories of all times is the wisdom of King Solomon in his deciding a case between two mothers, both claiming to be the mother of the living infant. One of the women, I think is, a psychopath.

It is found in the Old Testament 1 Kings 3:18-27 New International Version:

16 Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. 17One of them said, “My lord, this woman and I live in the same house. I had a baby while she was there with me. 18The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us.

19“During the night this woman’s son died because she lay on him. 20So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. 21The next morning, I got up to nurse my son—and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn’t the son I had borne.”

22The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.”

But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.

23The king said, “This one says, ”˜My son is alive and your son is dead,’ while that one says, ”˜No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.’”

24Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king. 25He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”

26The woman whose son was alive was filled with compassion for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”

But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”

27Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”

 

I think it is pretty clear that Solomon knew that the real mother would want to protect her child, even if it meant that she would lose custody, but the psychopathic woman who truly did not care about the child itself, but only about “winning,” as most psychopaths wouldn’t care if the child was killed as long as she “won.”

Today’s judges

Unfortunately, not many judges have the wisdom of Solomon in determining just who has the real interest of the child at heart, rather than in just “winning.”

Too many cases of the psychopathic parent, pretending to want visitation or relationships with the child/ren, only to use those children as weapons to hurt the nurturing parent, are apparent in our news today: The fake Clark Rockefeller, who snatched his daughter and ran with her from a “supervised” visitation. The husband of Dr. Amy Castillo, who had threatened to kill her children to get back at her, and the judge let him have an unsupervised visitation, at which he actually did just that and killed her children.

I wish I could say that they are “rare examples,” but they are unfortunately not “rare.” Before Lovefraud published the article about Dr. Castillo, I had never noticed any stories like this, but the story affected me so much that I started searching for stories like it and unfortunately found many. Josh Powell is only one of the “most dramatic” examples, but not a rare one.

What options did the parents (grandparents) of these children have except to allow the child/ren to go with the psychopathic parent, or to break the law and be jailed themselves, in which case the child would still be taken for the “visit”?

Holly Ann Collins took her children and fled to Europe, finding refuge there. Her daughter has a website called American Children Underground. It is a shame to me that Holly Ann only had the options of breaking the law or allowing her kids to be with a man she knew was a psychopath.

I wish I knew what the answer was, but I do not have the wisdom of Solomon, and psychopaths are very good at “masking” their intentions and using the children as tokens in some sort of “game” where winning is the only important thing.


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Ox Drover

EDIT: In the 5th paragraph up, Dr. Castillo’s x husband killed her CHILDREN, not “her.” I left out the word children, sorry.

skylar

Oxy,
I do love this story, always have. Thanks for posting it.
As I was reading it, it occurred to me that Solomon still didn’t really KNOW who the actual BIRTH mother was, but it didn’t matter to him. WHAT MATTERED MOST is that the child ended up with a woman who had the most compassion. Because that woman was going to protect and raise the child in the most loving way.

I love how my own insight is growing about what is right and what is wrong.

Ox Drover

Just popped back in between loads of laundry…Sky, you have a point! You know, I always did think that the REAL birth mother was the one that loved it, but you know, you are RIGHT I never saw that point of view…it was the WOMAN WITH COMPASSION who loved the child…doesn’t matter who gave birth to it.

In this case, the story does say that the one who gave birth to the child was the one with “compassion”—and when you think about it, the other woman had already KIDNAPPED a child (male children were valuable to women in those days) and lied about it….and she was the one in “possession” of the living child…so we know that the kidnapper was not a “nice person” to begin with….but when she was willing to WIN at the cost of the child’s life….we knew she was not only an evil person, but she was “without compassion” and wanted to win at any cost=a psychopath.

Good points though, brings a new way of looking at an old story.

Back_from_the_edge

Found a very interesting and enlightening quote:

“When your intention is pure, your action will be just.”

Back_from_the_edge

How about this one:

“Everybody is doing the best they can
with what they know.
Including yourself.”

Ox Drover

Duped, I do NOT believe the second “trueism” because psychopaths do the best they can to SCREW others….so if you think that everyone is “doing the BEST they can” meaning to be “nice” and “do right”—-NOOOOOOO WAY JOSE!

skylar

Also the first one could be misconstrued, since my spath had pure evil intentions.

Oxy,
the story has been told in so many ways but I think the gist of it remains. All my life I’ve read into it that Soloman’s wisdom allowed him to see the truth about who gave birth to the child because I was brainwashed into thinking that a woman who gives birth is a “real mother”. Your post today opened my eyes, I think, because you refer to your mom as the egg donor.

A really good story has many layers of meaning. This is certainly one of them.

Ox Drover

Sky,yes, that is what I am learning about a lot of good stories….the egg donor “interpreted” the Bible to me and unfortunately for a while I believed her….it didn’t QUITE “jell” but I still figured she knew best….but you know, I can interpret the stories for myself now.

In reading the old and very familiar stories from the Bible I am finding NEW MEANING in just about every one. New truths that I had entirely missed the points of by listening to HER VERSIONS….and I am finding that exploring these stories as well as other stories from various myths, legends, history, drama, poetry, psychology, philosophy, etc. I am seeing a lot of different things that I missed the first time around.

Well I’m off to beddie bye guys…been a BUSY day for me, had a meeting in town tonight and went early and grocery shopped, spent the morning and most of the afternoon cleaning house and cooking…I cooked enough food to feed “cox’s army” twice over! Even this sodium free life style is proving to have GREAT FOOD! I did blow the calorie limits tonight though, but the sodium limit is still intact! LOL Falling off the wagon once in a while isn’t too bad though! G’ nite!

skylar

g’nite oxy,
you inspired me to do laundry and it was way over due…
🙂

Ox Drover

Sky, I’m glad I inspired someone. LOL I got so much done yesterday I almost scared myself, but had spent the entire day the day before scanning old photos into my computer and organizing, notating and so on. Sitting at the computer ALL day was bad on my back and body….though I’m on LF a lot it is between episodes of being up doing stuff, day before yesterday was not getting up at all, like I was at a JOB and that is no good. Yesterday I cooked and cleaned and was up until 6:30 when my meeting started.

Then home to put groceries away. I hit a sale and got ORGANIC CHICKEN BREASTS….NO FAT OR SKIN, ON SALE for $1.99 a pound, so I bought 75 pounds (that was all my ice chest would hold!) so my parsimonious little heart was thrilled. I can’t raise it for that price. LOL

Now that my injured leg is healing somewhat (I actually wore real shoes last night instead of crocs) and I can gimp about better I realized I have been essentially “home bound” for most of 5 weeks now and I need to get out and do things, see folks, and enjoy myself before I become homicidal!

A BALANCED life is necessary for good mental and emotional health.

I love this story, although I was so scared by Solomon as a child. I was afraid that he really would have cut the baby in half, had the compassionate mother not spoken up!

I had never thought of the mother who kidnaps the baby as a psychopath, but of course she is. If we woke up to find our child dead, we would be consumed with grief. We would know that no other baby could ever fill that gap in our lives, not even subsequent children of our own. The last thing we would be thinking about is stealing another woman’s child.

Joanie123

Oxy: I too have always enjoyed the biblical tales and always believe there’s lessons, hidden meanings, and new interpretations we have yet to decipher.
How about a twist on an old scripture: maybe the Psychopathic woman smothered her child on purpose then got jealous of the living child and its nurturing mother so decided to wreak havoc and deceit by claiming the child was hers. Yes, so she could win the game!

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