How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Domestic violence and the high-risk personality disorders

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Certain personality types are at high risk of perpetrating domestic violence. I want to emphasize physical domestic violence here. As in my last article, the borderline, narcissistic and sociopathic personalities lead the risk pack here. Let's look first at the borderline personality. The borderline personality is a powder-keg of rage prone to detonate at any experience of a perceived wound, insult, threat of abandonment or (as a less appreciated match to their rage), threat to their malignant pride. Sound pretty narcissistic? Welcome to the synergy between these two personality types. The borderline personality, much like many narcissists, is littered with “rage mines” that can “tr …

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Taking back our power

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Each one of us has more power than we generally perceive we do. Some people, in fact, do not recognize that they have any power over either what happens to them, or to how they react to what happens to them. Yet, we are totally powerful people; we have total power over what goes on inside us. Recognizing that I am a powerful person with ultimate control over my emotions and actions is a heady feeling, and a scary feeling too. It is heady because it gives us a feeling that we can control ourselves, but it is scary because we also realize that there is no one else who can save us if we fail to exercise that power fully or competently. When we were …

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Malingering and psychopathy: a likely connection

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By:  Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed There may be a correlation between psychopathy and malingering.  Some studies support that increased PCL-R (psychopathy checklist) scores correspond with an increased potential for malingering, while others are less conclusive.  Regardless, if psychopathic individuals, or those with such features, seek to gain or avoid something through manipulations, they are good at bringing their intentions to fruition. What is malingering? Malingering is defined as intentionally making up or exaggerating medical or mental symptoms in an attempt to avoid one or a variety of responsibilities.  It is an intentional misrepresentation of facts in an effort to app …

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Singing about sociopaths

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One of Lovefraud's readers is Joshua Noel Tanner, a young man who is a singer-songwriter. He has personal experience with sociopaths, and has written a song called Old Father Incubus based on his experiences. I found the song to be creative, haunting and accurate. Caution: It includes narration that some readers may find to be triggering. You can buy the song, and listen to the rest of Joshua's album, on his band website. Joshua Noel Tanner band Or, you can listen to it on YouTube. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/h4hU0U4v1_Y] …

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Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

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Funny, don't you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I've written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I've loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here's what happened”¦ Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son's life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in t …

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Do not marry a murderer

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William Balfour, 31, of Chicago, was found guilty last week of murdering Darnell Donerson, Jason Hudson and Julian King. They were the mother, brother and nephew of singer and actress Jennifer Hudson. In my opinion, this case was a tragedy, but a preventable tragedy. Julia Hudson, Jennifer's older sister, brought Balfour into the family when she married him. If she hadn't married this man, it obviously wouldn't have happened. Jennifer Hudson was the first witness in the murder trial. She testified that the entire family was against Julia's relationship with Balfour. "None of us wanted her to marry him. We did not like how he treated her," she stated in court. Julia secretly married …

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New York Times article on child psychopaths

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Today's New York Times Magazine has an excellent article on the signs of psychopathy in children. It presents a heartbreaking story of parents trying to cope with a "callous-unemotional" 9-year-old, and covers much of the current research on the disorder in children. Very well done. Read Can a 9-year-old be a psychopath? on NYTimes.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Red Flags of Love Fraud: Not just another book on sociopaths

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 By Sarah Strudwick Editor's note: Sarah Strudwick is author of "Dark Souls," and has created numerous cartoons describing the behavior of sociopaths. When I first got a copy of Donna Andersen's Red Flags of Love Fraud, my immediate reaction was, “Oh yet another book on sociopaths.” Having been a victim myself, and a fellow author who has read almost every book on the subject, I was half expecting to find a book that was regurgitating old ideas with nothing new to say. Well how wrong I was, because this is not one of those books. Apart from one other book I have read recently on Character Disturbance, this has to be the best book I have read so far on sociopaths. Donna Andersen comb …

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Taking care of our own needs first

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP, (retired) There have been some discussions on Lovefraud lately about people not taking care of themselves, “until X happens, then I'm going to go to the doctor.” This got me to thinking about how important it is for us to put ourselves first. The very person who has always “put others first” (me) because that is what a “good person does” would feel very guilty if I spent money on myself, even for things I needed. I would send money to my son Patrick in prison for commissary money when I had to do without things I needed or wanted, because I felt guilty if I didn't send him money. Eating to feed his children You may have heard me tell this story before and I'm …

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Will you participate in research about psychopaths in the workplace?

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Do you suspect that someone you work with is a psychopath? Do they act superficially charming, lack remorse, lie to you, cheat, or attempt to manipulate you? Read more to find out about our study.   Dear Members of the Lovefraud Blog, My name is Janelle and I am a Master's student at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. I'm currently working on my Master's thesis in Forensic Psychology under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth. The topic of my research is psychopathy in the workplace and the effects this has on victims. Psychopathy in the workplace is a relatively new area of study in psychology. Most of the research to date focuses on the psychopathic individuals while neglecting to …

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