By Joyce Alexander, RNP, (retired) There have been some discussions on Lovefraud lately about people not taking care of themselves, “until X happens, then I'm going to go to the doctor.” This got me to thinking about how important it is for us to put ourselves first. The very person who has always “put others first” (me) because that is what a “good person does” would feel very guilty if I spent money on myself, even for things I needed. I would send money to my son Patrick in prison for commissary money when I had to do without things I needed or wanted, because I felt guilty if I didn't send him money. Eating to feed his children You may have heard me tell this story before and I'm …
Will you participate in research about psychopaths in the workplace?
Do you suspect that someone you work with is a psychopath? Do they act superficially charming, lack remorse, lie to you, cheat, or attempt to manipulate you? Read more to find out about our study. Dear Members of the Lovefraud Blog, My name is Janelle and I am a Master's student at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. I'm currently working on my Master's thesis in Forensic Psychology under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth. The topic of my research is psychopathy in the workplace and the effects this has on victims. Psychopathy in the workplace is a relatively new area of study in psychology. Most of the research to date focuses on the psychopathic individuals while neglecting to …
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Study: Psychopaths have less grey matter for understanding emotions
Researchers based at the King's College of London Institute of Psychiatry used MRIs to scan the brains of 44 violent adult male criminals who had already been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Of the total, 17 also were diagnosed as psychopathic. The study found that the psychopaths' brains had signifcantly less grey matter in the part of the brain that understands other people's emotions and intentions. Read Study finds psychopaths have distinct brain structure, on Foxnews.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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Being, Accepting and Letting Go
After much contemplation, I decided I'd like to continue along the theme of last week's post since the sense of ”˜thoughts becoming things' seems to be becoming even more important to me at the moment. And from the energetic conversation threads from last week it appears to be quite an emotive subject for people here as well! The picture I've chosen this week is the classic “Hag or Beautiful Young Woman” illustration that shows there can be two very different sides to the same situation, depending on our perception. I often use it to remind myself, when I'm having a “Hag” of a day, to change my perspective and seek out the “Beautiful Young Woman—¦. She's always there somewhere”¦ ;- …
Why laws don’t work with sociopaths
The federal Violence Against Women Act is up for renewal. This law, originally passed in 1994, provides the following programs and services: Community violence prevention programs Protections for victims who are evicted from their homes because of events related to domestic violence or stalking Funding for victim assistance services, like rape crisis centers and hotlines Programs to meet the needs of immigrant women and women of different races or ethnicities Programs and services for victims with disabilities Legal aid for survivors of violence The law has already been renewed twice, in 2000 and 2005, always without fanfare. This year, however, opponents object to expanding …
Just what we need – justification for fraud
Researchers say that many people commit fraud unintentionally. And, they commit fraud not because they're greedy, but because they're nice! Great now sociopaths will say they're only being nice! Read Psychology of fraud: Why good people do bad things, on NPR.org. So how will the researchers explain this? Three Shoreline women charged with defrauding victims of more than $1 million in exclusive 'Gifting Club' pyramid scheme, on Courant.com. Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Comparing our losses to the losses of others
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of the things I have heard from victims of psychopaths here at Lovefraud, seemingly over and over, is that people compare their losses to my losses and Donna's losses and Dr. Liane Leedom's losses, etc. and think that their losses don't “count” because they haven't lost X, Y, or Z and we did. They seem to think that because I lost a child, or Liane lost her medical practice, or Donna lost a quarter of a million dollars, that they are not entitled to feel as injured as we were/are. The people expressing this somehow seem to have “survivor's guilt” about feeling so devastated when their losses were somehow “less.” Or they feel that we are somehow “sup …
When all the world’s a stage: personas and psychopathy
By Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed To psychopaths, life is often like a series of stage plays. They are like the play actors and they tend to keep themselves very busy, working in a variety of different productions. When they exhaust the audience pool in one venue, they move to the next. It is important to note that they may work many productions at the same time, as well. Unlike other actors, psychopaths do not worry about being type-cast. They may play evil villains on one stage and sweet, loving, misunderstood victims on the next. However, we must realize that they are just acting. In the theatres of life, psychopaths may showcase a variety of personas. What is a pers …
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Learning To Trust Again
Well — what a week it's been! Last Wednesday I received the all-clear from my biopsy, and what a massive relief it was”¦ So massive that I hadn't fully understood how much I had been stressing over the whole episode. Yes, I know, it's only natural to feel anxious over the potential of discovering a life-threatening illness, but I hadn't appreciated just how much I'd been holding in, boxing off, pushing away so that I could deal with life on a day-to-day basis. It took a good couple of days for the good news to sink in, and since then I've felt more ”˜alive' and full of beans than I have done for a long time. It's only now that I'm feeling lighter and brighter, that I realize just how tense …
Differentiating the sociopath from the borderline from the narcissist
Man, it's not easy out there. Your partner clearly has a major personality disturbance, but sometimes separating borderline, narcissistic and sociopathic behavior can be hard. Real tough. Especially when there are spill-over behaviors, cross-contaminating behaviors and attitudes (as there often are) that further muddy the diagnostic waters. Let's look at rage, for instance. Rage is a major marker of the borderline and narcissistic personality. Sociopaths, being essentially malignant, high-end narcissists, like any full-blown narcissist, are also capable of frightful, bullying, abusive rages. The borderline's rage, much like the narcissist's, tends to be elicted by disappoinment. And it's …
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