How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Continually picking at the ‘psychopathic scab’ won’t give the wound a chance to heal

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Editor's Note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of “Dark Souls Healing and recovering from toxic relationships.” By Sarah Strudwick heal verb \ˈhÄ“l\ : to become healthy or well again : to make (someone or something) healthy or well again This week I had to have two teeth out, which turned out to be pretty painful. I also ended up with an infection. I've had wisdom teeth out before many years ago but didn't necessarily want to remind myself of how uncomfortable it was. Despite the pain and infection, I know in time the gums will heal, albeit they may feel and look a little different after. We get hurt When we fall in love or become victim to a psychopath, often ou …

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Read ‘A Narcissist’s Love Letter’

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It's Valentine's Day, the day when many people celebrate love, including sociopaths (which, here on Lovefraud, include antisocials, narcissists. and borderlines). These exploiters do not experience love as we do. But they are often very good at faking it. They profess their love, make promises of future happiness and create  grand gestures to demonstrate their love which we may later realize was a demonstration for an audience, not for us. So when they say, "I love you," what do they mean? This post on ThoughtCatalog.com, by John Howell, answers the question. A Narcissist's Love Letter Thank you to Sarah Strudwick for sharing this link.   …

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Co-Parenting with a Sociopath Should Make the List of the Most Difficult Jobs in the World

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by Quinn Pierce  Recently, I came across a list of the most difficult jobs in the world.  The top contenders included: U. S. President, UN Negotiator, Prison Warden, and Air Traffic Controller, to name a few.  I don't argue that these are extremely stressful and challenging career choices, but I believe there is one that should have made the list, even if it isn't officially considered a career, and requires financial, emotional, and psychological debt rather than income: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath. A Daily Challenge As if parenting isn't challenging enough, trying to navigate the crazy-making, drama-filled world of a sociopath who has the ability to influence and harm your children …

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The Atlantic writes sparsely about psychopaths and rehabilitation

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The Atlantic Magazine was founded in 1857 by luminaries such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The publication was known for literary and cultural commentary. Today the magazine and its website, TheAtlantic.com, are primarily aimed at "thought leaders." So when I saw that TheAtlantic.com published a piece entitled, Can Psychopaths Be Rehabilitated?, I was pleased to see this topic be addressed by a well-respected publication. I anticipate it would present a thorough and thoughtful discussion of the issue. I was disappointed. What the author, Carla Norton, wrote was accurate, but she barely scratched the surface of this topic. She spends half of the short article …

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Brad Robinson: Is Your Home Bugged? Ten Warning Signs Of Covert Eavesdropping

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By Brad Robinson, Private Investigator People who are in a relationship with a sociopath, or who recently escaped from such a relationship, often get the feeling that their ex is watching them, listening to them, spying on them. This might be your imagination getting the best of you, but often these suspicions are correct. With the increasing online prevalence of readily available, inexpensive listening devices, spycams, phone taps, etc., and YouTube instructional videos on how to secretly install them, this is a growing threat to anyone who values their privacy. There are warning signs. Warning signs Here are a few that may be of use: People seem to know too much regarding your pri …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Every day was an absolute psychological torture

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Editor's Note: This letter was sent in by a European Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Lizbeth.” I had a relationship with a psychopath when I was young and naive. He completely wrecked my life. At that time I was a 20 year-old University student.  I was not stupid, but I still fell for his con. He was a few years older and already graduated from University. Every day was an absolute psychological torture. He completely humiliated me every day for utter nonsense. For instance, if I was ten minutes late, it would be a complete fall out. Or I would take a Spanish course, well that was the end of it, since I did not ask his permission to do so. Worst of all, nobody supported me. Mom fell f …

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Recovering from the Lingering Effects of a Sociopath

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by Quinn Pierce  One of my least favorite activities is walking through the women's fragrance department at the mall.  I always reach the other side of the store trying to hold my breath while fighting the impending headache and dizziness that always follows.  By the time I get home, I feel as though every area of my environment has been saturated; the scent lingers on my clothes, in my car, in my hair”¦ It is with similar annoyance that I recognize the clinging traces of my ex-husband's sociopathic behaviors in my own responses to current situations.  For instance, throughout my relationship, my ex-husband often criticized or attacked my decisions and actions that were independent of his …

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BOOK REVIEW: Carnal Abuse by Deceit

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Many, many Lovefraud readers, I am sure, will be able to relate to Joyce M. Short's new book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape. I wish this were not the case, but it is. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. Much of the book is her personal story, and this is what will feel so familiar to many readers. Joyce writes about her outwardly successful, well-off family of origin and what was really going on behind closed doors. Here's a hint: Her father wasn't necessarily the upstanding citizen that he presented himself to be. She writes about young, handsome and …

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Why sociopaths keep showing up

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A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following question: I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this? This reader posts as "Sam." Last year I published her story as a "Letter to Lovefraud." The explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of Sam's story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her: She witnessed domestic violence from a very young age. She left home before she turned 15. She suffered from depression. Her …

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