Three weeks after her baby was born, Jen Waite, a model and actress in New York City, discovered that her husband was having an affair. In fact, while she was in labor, he kept disappearing to call his girlfriend. Jen has just come out with a book called, A Beautiful, Terrible Thing, in which she tells her story. In an interview with the New York Post, she calls her husband a sociopath. Based on the article, it sounds like she's right. My husband's secret double life, on NYPost.com. Jen Waite, 32, a model and …
Sociopaths are “spin” and misrepresentation experts. To protect yourself, document everything!
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 48: Toxic Emails I spent the rest of the afternoon making phone calls to find someone who would let me store my financial files and sentimental items at their house. Melinda, a mom whose daughter was on the lacrosse team with Jessica, offered the use of her house. I only knew her casually, but I knew she had been through a physically abusive marriage. Was I putting her in danger? …
10 reasons why the fireworks of a romance with a sociopath are duds
In honor of July 4th, let’s talk about fireworks — the really dangerous kind. These are the fireworks that you feel exploding all around you early in your relationship with someone who later turns out to be a sociopath. Here’s what you see and experience, and what it really going on. 1. You see: Nonstop texts, emails and social media postings Reality: You’re not the only one receiving them. The Internet and social media make it easy for sociopaths to work multiple targets at once, and they do. 2. You experience: Conversations that last for hours Reality: The sociopath is pumping you for information, which he/she will later use to manipulate you. 3. You experience: Nonstop dates, get-t …
10 reasons why the fireworks of a romance with a sociopath are dudsRead More
Like cosmic black holes, Sociopaths suck in all surrounding matter and energy and give nothing back
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 47B: Divorcing A Sociopath—Round II In that moment, I understood why, throughout our marriage, Paul had criticized me so often for being controlling. It had always seemed odd, and I had stupidly responded by bending over backwards to make sure he would not view me that way. I caved in to what he wanted to prove that I did not need to be in control. Fool! Most people consider me flexible. …
From Moon to Earth — recognizing that my experience was actually abuse
Editor's note: Please welcome a new contributor to Lovefraud.com — Eleanor Cowan, author of "A History of a Pedophile's Wife." Born in 1948, the same year women first voted in Quebec, she began her life odyssey with a lovely home, good food, some affection, and soon, the company of nine siblings. These are the details she relied upon, not the nights of sexual abuse, the constant criticism of her mother, nor the religious oppression in her strict family. With the alcoholism of her mother and the chronic absence of her Dad, life slid downhill fast. She became a devout Catholic, an anxious people pleaser — and a complete stranger to herself. Three drug-rapes into her 20's, she decided to er …
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If we want something different, we need to do something different
By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW I’m fond of this axiom: “If you want something different from what you’ve had, you need to do something different from what you’ve done.” Here’s an important corollary: Doing something different will, at first, feel strange. When we envision something different for ourselves and begin to practice creating it, it’s important to prepare to receive it. Otherwise, new possibilities will be assimilated by the powerful machinery of old patterns and we’ll continue to feel stuck. It’s not enough to want something different, or even to envision it. In order to create something different, we must release the barriers — often unconscious — that stand in its way. We need to l …
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Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 47: Divorcing a Sociopath--Round II As I turned the corner and the house slipped from view, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. Five minutes later, text messages and calls flooded my phone. I ignored them and kept driving. A few minutes later, I pulled into my bank’s parking lot and tried to breathe normally. I checked my phone. All the texts and calls were from Paul. I n …
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Sociopaths and double lives
A reporter inquired about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers? Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women. Not everyone who lives a double life is a sociopath. Some people, like spies and undercover cops, are doing their j …
Raw power and control — the core of what sociopaths want
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Maisie." Here is my story. I would be grateful for any thoughts as I'm still trying to make sense of something I went through. I was in the very best relationship for 25 years and then he died. Afterwards I was utterly heartbroken and alone as a result I think of being still quite young in my circle of friends and them not being able to cope with the tragedy. In the village where I lived a newcomer stopped me whilst I was walking to introduce himself. He would stop from time to time to talk to me. I was in a desperately lonely state and eventually agreed to visit him. As his neighbours …
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Realizing a sociopath has no ethical compass or moral boundaries is brutal
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 46B: Divorcing A Sociopath—Round I My breath caught. My chest tightened. Fear welled inside me. I swallowed, trying to coax moisture back to my mouth so that I could speak and conceal how scared I was of Paul in that moment and of what might happen in the future. “Don’t move back in,” I said. “It won’t be good for the kids. It’s already hard enough. And I saw the check you wrote …
Realizing a sociopath has no ethical compass or moral boundaries is brutalRead More