Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …
Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life
The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her "secret agent" husband has three other wives. This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories: Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American 'secret agent' husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children. Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental in helping Jordan get arrested in h …
Three miserable Christmases with the sociopath, and how to heal from the memories
I spent three Christmases with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Every one of them was stressful, unhappy, worrisome and bereft of joyful holiday spirit. Christmas 1996 We had known each other for five months. We'd already had a secret wedding in Australia with his friends and family. For friends and family in New Jersey, we were planning another wedding in January, complete with bridesmaids, a fancy reception for 60 guests and a six-piece band. Montgomery had already blown through $50,000 of my money and credit, and I did not know how we were going to pay for the wedding. And shortly before Christmas Montgomery pressured me into leasing a new car for him. His solution to …
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My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorder
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Marguerite2018." I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers. During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things & I always seemed to ac …
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Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident
Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police. McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn't moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster's car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported: According to police, she told investigators "I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything." Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and "cut her in …
3 steps to prevent a sociopath from taking advantage of your vulnerabilities
"Is it really a vulnerability to respond to somebody (apparently) liking and desiring you? Is that not just a basic human need that we all want to have fulfilled?" The Lovefraud reader Dorabella asked these questions on a story that I posted a couple of weeks ago, The sociopath as your soul mate. They are great questions. The answers are: Yes, it's a vulnerability to respond to someone desiring you, and yes, it's a basic human need. So although these are vulnerabilities, they are also normal human qualities. To be human is to have vulnerabilities. A vulnerability is a weak point, and whenever we want something, that creates a weak point. Most of us want a romantic relationships, so …
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My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committed
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "Lillian." I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes. The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. France, Greece, The Caribbean, Hawaii, San Diego, Seattle, NYC. We were …
“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do
Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire's grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house. Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself. A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here: 'We didn't recognise that he was dangerous': our father killed our mother and sister After the shootings, Luke and Ryan were shocked to see articles in the media …
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Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit
For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated. At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights. Then came the best part — the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the high-kicking Radio City Roc …
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5 prison inmates steal $560K from military personnel in love fraud scam
Five inmates in a South Carolina prison managed to scam 442 members of the armed forces by using smuggled cell phones to initiate love fraud scams. They posed as underaged girls, contacted the service members, and then blackmailed the victims for $560,000 in hush money. US Attorney Sherri Lydon held a press conference in front of the prison in Columbia, South Carolina, and announced charges against five men: Antwine Lamar Matthews, 28 Rakeem Spivey, 27 Jimmy Dunbar Jr., 37 Wendell Wilkins, 30 David Paul Dempsey, 31 In addition to them, 10 more people were charged with helping the scammers collect the money from the victims. Finally — U.S. authorities are going after …
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