Lovefraud's standard advice for interacting with a sociopath is not to interact at all, to implement a strict policy of No Contact. Unfortunately, this isn't always possible. Perhaps you share children with a sociopathic ex-partner. Or perhaps you have a disordered boss or co-worker, and aren't yet able to find new employment. Or perhaps some member of your family is disordered. If you have no choice but to interact with a problem person, here are some tips that may help you. Do not react emotionally. Sociopaths will often do or say unpleasant things just to provoke a reaction out of you. Do not take the bait. Remember, all sociopaths really want is to win. If they get an emotional …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Hooked by an Internet predator
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call “Greta.” She writes about being hooked by an internet predator.After being married for 23 years to an alcoholic, being sad and lonely, I was vulnerable and targeted by a sociopath online through Facebook. I live in the US, he was from the Netherlands but living in Italy at time. He sent me a random friend request, I accepted, we talked on instant message chat occasionally for about 9 months and then he zeroed in.He speaks 5 languages fluently and has traveled to many countries. He is very bright and articulate. We had similar interests, especially spiritually, or at least the ill …
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10 Facts to help you explain your experience with a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. The biggest reason why we get tangled up with sociopaths is because we don't know they exist. We don't know they live among us, so we don't watch out for them, so we get in trouble.Then, when we try to tell our friends and families what happened, they have no idea what we're talking about — because they don't know sociopaths exist either. So on top of the devastation we endure from the sociopath, when we turn to others for support, we are not understood or even believed.If you're trying to explain your experience with a sociopath, here are some facts to help you put your story in context:1 . Approximately 40 million people in the United States — 12% of the population — could …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A sorry senior citizen
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Regina," a senior citizen who encountered a sociopath.I am now 77 years old and my sociopath is 74. We were together almost 7 years. You would think at my age I would have known better. I have finally left the creep for the 4th time, and with the help of Lovefraud blogs, I am on my way to full recovery. It still hurts that I could have been so stupid, but here's my story.To try and understand why I let myself be sucked in to a relationship with this creep, I have to go back 18 years to when my husband died. Shortly after his death, my nephew, then 15 years old, robbed me to the tune of …
Am I a sociopath magnet?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Kristinan32." Donna Andersen responds at the end of it.I've had a long history with NPDs and Sociopaths. Am I some sort of magnet?I am a caring individual, rescue animals, take care of people. Go figure. My daughter's father was one, the last guy I was with was one, up until he died.Two years later, I decided I've 'healed' somewhat after everything, and I see my old friend's brother on a social media site. I never really knew him, so I contacted him, out of the blue. So, we hit it off fast. This is unlike me, I don't take things fast. We talk, we get along, everything's fun and good.He tells me he has mental …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following post was submitted by the Lovefraud reader “Adelle.”We often hear the saying, “If the shoe fits wear it.” We all know people are not referring to a shoe. In other words, if the description fits you, own up to it. If someone calls you a fool, and you think you are a fool, then wear that title! If someone calls you a hypocrite and you agree, wear it, you are a hypocrite.But when this phrase is used, it isn't usually given to you as an option. It is usually used as a weapon of accusation. With evil, with intent to hurt. For example, “Are you calling me a liar?” Response: “Well, if the shoe fits wear it.” The person hearing this phrase is usually on …
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