How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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10 appalling facts about your romance with a sociopath 

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You're shattered. You thought you finally met your soul mate, the person you were waiting for all your life. Then it all fell apart. What does this mean? I’m going to explain 10 appalling facts about your romance with a sociopath that you must believe, even though you don’t want to.It started when your charming, charismatic and attentive romantic partner swept you off your feet in a whirlwind romance. It was good — no, it was fabulous — until it wasn't. Now you know you had a romance with a sociopath. Perhaps you were subjected to the "devalue and discard" routine. Or you discovered that your partner wasn't the person he or she claimed to be. However it happened, you are heart …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Partners in an unhealthy dance

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UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a woman who posts as Willow888. She wrote about her unhealthy dance with a sociopath.I recently started to work through the awful morass of feelings that follow an interaction with a disordered person. These people are such deceptive and expert manipulators they can apparently draw in even the healthiest of partners, partly because their behavior is beyond normal imagining and experience. Just as we're taught to drive a car defensively, to suppose that every other driver is asleep at the wheel, we could still get taken unawares by a driver who aims at us head on, deliberately. That we wouldn't necessarily be ready …

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20 Issues to consider before taking a sociopath to court

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UPDATED FOR 2025. If you share children with a sociopath, you may have seen the other parent be negligent, or even abusive, toward the kids. Concerned for their wellbeing, you may be thinking about going to court to reduce his or her access. Is this a good idea? Today I’m going to explain 20 issues that you should seriously consider before taking a sociopath to court.Lovefraud once received the following email:I was previously married to a sociopath, and we have a 4-year old son together.  I have sole legal and physical custody of our son, but have been fighting to reduce the amount of visitation for quite some time.  I recently read that having a forensic psychological a …

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FREE introduction to ‘Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse’

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UPDATED FOR 2025 WITH NEW GROUP DISCUSSIONS. Lovefraud is pleased to announce new group discussions for our webinar series called, Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, presented by Liane Leedom, M.D.How do you recover from the abuse and trauma inflicted by a narcissist, antisocial or psychopath? In this 13-session program, Dr. Leedom helps you develop the skills to clear your head, deal with stress, gain control of your emotions and create deal with sociopathic behavior.Get started with a FREE introductory session:FREE! Your first step towards real recovery from narcissistic abuse and traumaHighlightsAbout Dr. Liane LeedomDr. Leedom is a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us

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UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call Hilary, who wrote about how much we want to believe the romantic story. Names are changed.The night before I met Nick, I had a vivid nightmare. I lost sight of a caring man in a chaotic crowd, a baby was murdered, and I was poisoned. I awoke and heard, "Wait for the right one. Don't try to save him. You'll ruin yourself and your future." The thought was so pervasive that, although I was perplexed, I wrote it down.The following afternoon, I met Nick (with whom I'd connected on a dating site) on his boat at the local marina, and an afternoon sail turned into an “accidental” dinner with his par …

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Looking for a date, I found a sociopath and a spiritual path

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Back in the summer of 1996, when I logged onto the America Online Love section, I had no idea that it would be the beginning of a journey that would change my life. I was looking for a date. I found a sociopath — and also a spiritual path.I was single, had never been married and was about to turn 40 — yes, I heard that biological clock ticking very loudly. I ran my own copywriting business and finally, after 13 years of struggle, I was making good money.  Maybe, I hoped, it was finally time for me to be happy.I’d previously tried personal ads, back when we actually placed classified ads in newspapers or magazines and responded by sending physical letters through the mail. It was an …

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To survive a sociopath, we sometimes act like a sociopath

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UPDATED FOR 2025. I almost didn't recognize myself. There I was, plotting with my cheating husband's mistress to steal money from his bank account. I was acting like a sociopath, although at the time I didn't know that my husband was a sociopath.Before I married James Montgomery, I never would have considered such an action.  But after he convinced me to blow $227,000 on his ridiculous business schemes, and after I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam, I was angry, broke and desperate. I did what I had to do to survive.Maybe because of your own entanglement with a sociopath, you've found yourself doing things that you never, ever did before. This happened to "Stevie2018," who …

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What narcissists will never understand

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By Joanie Bentz, M.Ed., LBS, CCBPNarcissists are not cut out of the same mold as you and I. There are certain aspects of normal interpersonal behavior that narcissists will never understand.As a therapist, when I began researching narcissism, I viewed it from a more scientific view. However, with more experience and time, I have learned that the affliction seems to be multifaceted, going beyond a psychiatric explanation. Narcissists have what I call “bankruptcies” of the mind, heart and soul. They inflict moral injury. They are impoverished spirits with no supply of empathy or regard for others.A chronic misunderstandingWhether you have gone no contact, low contact or are creating a pla …

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After the sociopath, how to mend your broken heart

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Sociopaths do not have the ability to love — but they’re really good at faking it. That’s one of the many true statements that I made in my TEDx talk. I was censored by TED — I don’t know why — so I finally re-recorded my speech and posted it on Youtube. I hope to warn you that sociopaths live among us, so you can protect yourself.But what if you’ve already encountered a sociopath? What if you’ve been deceived and betrayed, and you don’t know how or why it happened? What if you’re still in shock, or angry at yourself, or stuck in grief over the loss of your dreams?How to mend your broken heartIn my view, mending your broken heart is a process. It includes three broad categories of recovery — …

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Please share my talk about sociopaths — TED censored it

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Millions of sociopaths live among us. They do not have the ability to authentically love. They view people as objects to be used. This was the topic of my TEDx called, How to protect yourself from sociopaths. TED censored my speech.After waiting for two years for TED to include my video on its website, I decided enough was enough. I just re-recorded my speech and posted it on Youtube, Rumble and Lovefraud. I invite you to watch it.My speech in June 2022TED, which is headquartered in New York and Vancouver, says its mission is to research and discover “ideas worth spreading.” TEDx speaking events are run by local organizations under licenses issued by TED. I spoke at TEDx Roland Park, Mar …

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