I wrote an article not long ago about settling on a name for the personality disorder that we spend our time here talking about. I suggested using “sociopath” as a general term for exploitative people. Many of us have taken to shortening this term to “spath.”
Well, a Lovefraud reader “Justdreamin” informs us that “spath” is taken. She saw it on a flower pot, and sent us the photos.
It turns out that “spath” is a shortened version of “spathiphyllum,” which is the botanical name for the peace lilly, a common houseplant.
We might have to come up with a new name. If I were a beautiful peace lily, I wouldn’t want to share a name with the nasty predators.
Eva, what’s not a joke (unfortunately) is the fact that a “stud” usually has a combination of:
1) behavioral cues like glibness, magnetism and charm (which we know are some of the main symptoms of psychopathy) and
2) somatic, or sexual, narcissism. They often seduce, and score, for the sport of it and to confirm how hot, desirable and virile they are.
That’s part of why so many “studs” are really “duds” (psychopaths and narcissists)
Claudia, ok i’ll get a normal, anti-erotic, non stud man.
But Claudia, the bug that teaches is not very charming, and his dominance i don’t find it attractive at all. He’s ok psysically and very energetic but i don’t see any charm. The magnetism, yes, and i know it works with some students, but i always felt rejection towards him. It’s strange i liked the german psychopath because it seems i’m rather anti-spath and i didn’t know it.
MILO!!! ROTFLMAO snark snarf choke snort!!! GREAT!!!! Yea. Potted plant for sure!!!!
Aussie girl, it is amazing just what holes the taxidermist can sew up in the hide when they are mounting them!!!! You’re right, there would have been some BIG HOLES in his hide too! We have bears here but mostly they stay clear of the house, though I will say that my cousin who lives about 2 miles away went to her back porch one night and there was one up there eating her dog’s food. I’ve had one within 100 ft of my house but usually the outside dog barking keeps them at bay and I don’t leave out food that would attract them. We’ve seen the bear (or bears) a few times through the years.
One guy I know who wanted to hunt here and I really didn’t want him to, but I felt (at that time) that I couldn’t say “no” came out to look around and he saw the bear about the same time she saw him and “barked” at him, he was just scouting the area and didn’t have a gun, so he turned and ran and never came back when the deer season started. LOL Now, I would have NO problem saying “NO” but then I had problems saying No.
We actually hunted for the bear during the season but never got a shot at it when it was legal to shoot it for taking. It is legal to shoot one ANY time if they are a threat, or you can have the Game and Fish come out and trap them if they are not a threat but just a “problem.”
Eva, that’s because that prof is probably not a psychopath (who tend to be much more seductive and charming), but your run-of-the-mill academic narcissist, who are much more off-putting, and even ridiculous, in their display of “brilliance” and power in the department. Believe me, I encountered my share of those in the academia. You just have to do things their way to pass with a good grade, even if it means regurgitating their lessons on a test.
Eva,
Unfortunately, like Claudia says, you’ll run across those such as your current professor. The GOOD thing is, that you only have to deal with them for a very BRIEF period of time (even if it seems like forever!), and then their out of your life!! YAY!
I had one last term. It was a stressful nightmare! I would handle it differently next time as I “fought” him on every level. Next time, I”ll just suck it up.
LL
SHIAT!
I feel guilty…..how stupid is this!!!!!
The bear lady offered me NOTHING!!!! NOTHING!!!!!
Except telling me that I should have run out of my bedroom and scared him off immediatly…..I told her….I didn’t know it was the bear….It sounded like it was IN my house and due to my situation and vulnerability with my ex husband I was NOT about to go rambo to find out who/what it was!!!
She chastised me for calling the police!
And assured me the bear is NOW dead, because I’ve taught him that he can ‘pick’ on me and take over my domain, due to my inaction and freezing out of fear last night.
So…..here I am……not afraid of confronting the spath……but whimp out on the bear. When I’m not sure…..I freeze.
FRICK!
She is sure the fish and game will show up today and kill him in his den while sleeping………
I don’t want him dead…..I just want him to ‘go away’.
How stupid is it that I feel guilty here……..people have real problems……and i’m worrying about blood in the snow and a dead bear in his den.
Stupid bear lady…….she used me as her OUT!
Claudia, his material is a “refried” taken from the net full of his marks (destruction of words; seems he finds it creative), you see how original he is. That man is a fraud as intellectual. He has a ph but he’s shallow and ignorant like i’ve seem no other professor. He’s sterile, a parrot. How the hell has he managed to get a ph and convince a university he’s competent?
Besides, what’s a disordered of the narcissist personality but a psychopath? They both share the worst traits. Only this one is more openly aggressive, authoritative and intransigent, and less subtle than the psychopath specialized in conning partners, but he has a great lack of emotions, he’s very robotic, has no empathy and it’s noticeable, has no remorse, he’s calculator, sadistic, intriguer, he’s always inventing new things for the students to do in order to beat his boredom, for fun.
My intuition really tells me he’s dangerous because it’s very obvious he lacks deepness, which makes him look for constant stimulation and control of his environment, and he feels entitled to it! He thinks he’s a great leader, he confusses leadership with military training.
EB,
That lady was an IDIOT!
I though that fish and wildlife would NOT kill the bear, but merely trap it, and REMOVE IT, to a different wildlife location? I understand you’re not wanting to see the poor thing dead! But I’m an animal lover too. Sheesh!
LL
Eva, unfortunately I ran across many such “parrots” in literary studies. At the time they were using a lot of nearly incomprehensible jargon related to deconstruction and other popular “theories”. Not all of that theory was nonsense. There were some, like Christopher Norris, that seemed to make a lot of sense. But there were many who were just riding a fad and made very little sense. Which fads are popular at any given moment differs with the time period and the field. But you’ll always encounter such narcissistic types wanting to confirm their “brilliance” in the academia. It’s part of the territory. I hope you learn how to stay low on his radar screen and get a good grade so you can accomplish your goals.
Claudia, i’ve known in the university other intellectual narcissists of both sexes, most of them literature teachers, mostly of Spanish literature. Yes, pedantic, arrogant, but real intellectuals.
But this bug is so strange. Still, i hope you’re right and that just being submissive and studying i pass the subject.