When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness. Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com. …
Dipping a toe in the dating pool
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as “Glinda” sent the following letter. I'll provide my thoughts at the end of her letter. “NEVER Dating Again” Punishment or Prudence? I have most of my life back in order, post sociopath. Work is good; I have friends; I have hobbies; and my kids are well cared for and seem to be well-adjusted to our family routine. I also don't worry and think about getting asked out much. I'm pretty sure I put a “nuh uh” sign out, in neon. I haven't had any interest in dating—in fact, I've sworn off relationships in general. I'm not lonely. I've filled my life and don't feel empty or sad. I have a terrible track record in picking men”¦and a worse record …
Why the Michael Vick story is important
The sportswriters have run out of adjectives. They can't find superlatives big enough to describe yesterday's incredible, improbable, amazing victory of the Philadelphia Eagles football team over their archrivals, the New York Giants. The Eagles were losing 31-10 with only 8:09 left in the game. They scored 28 points—four touchdowns—to win. The Eagles were powered, almost single-handedly, by quarterback Michael Vick. This is the same Michael Vick who, in 2007, was convicted running a dog-fighting ring and served 18 months in prison. I've been writing about Michael Vick since the Eagles hired him for the team in August 2009, a move that outraged thousands of fans, myself included. After …
How American child rearing practices lead to ADHD and bullying
More and more children are being diagnosed with disorders such as ADHD and autism. Dr. Gabor Maté of Canada says that the root cause is that the nurturing environment necessary for proper child development has collapsed in America, leading to children who are emotionally detached and have difficulty controlling their impulses. This 60-minute interview is fascinating—be sure to watch it all. Or, to save time, just scroll down below the video options to read the transcript. (Thanks to Skylar for the suggestion.) Dr. Gabor Maté on ADHD, bullying and the destruction of American childhood, on DemocracyNow.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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A guy who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer
Woman meets guy online. Woman decides guy is not for her. Guy doesn't want to hear it. Guy wants wants to meet her RIGHT NOW to hug her neck. Woman doesn't respond. Guy promises the greatest love ever. Woman tells guy to STOP. Guy ramps up the attention. Read the entire audacious interaction, complete with the guy saying it was all a joke, at womenexplode.com. …
Proving the truth in the Elizabeth Smart case
Brian David Mitchell, who supposedly believed he would gather a number of wives and lead them out of Babylon, was convicted last week of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart. This case has been in the media for years. Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped at knifepoint as she was sleeping in 2002, when she was 14 years old. Mitchell held her captive for nine months, and over that time, sexually assaulted her continuously. The facts of the federal case were never in dispute. What was disputed, however, was Mitchell's sanity. Some experts thought he was delusional. Some thought he was a psychopath. In the end, thankfully, the jury rejected the insanity defense. Mitchell, however, was good. He kept the …
People will complain about drums, but not domestic violence
A guy playing the drums in a Johannesburg townhouse complex drew complaints within minutes. The blood-curdling screams of domestic violence drew no reaction. This was all shockingly documented in an online video released by a South African advocacy group, People Opposing Women Abuse (POWA). Read Video test of domestic abuse awareness in South Africa gets more than 500,000 hits in DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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It sometimes pays to act like a psychopath … sometimes not
Editor's note: Be sure to read both articles that Ox Drover links to. By Ox Drover I ran across two articles in NY Times that sort of got me to thinking about how it sometimes does pay off to act like a psychopath—in business or other ways. The following (quite long) article tells how an Internet seller terrorized his customer. I think that many people who have been the victims of psychopathic-like stalking can relate to this woman's story. The fact that it was over such a relatively small amount of money is amazing to me, though. The lengths to which this stalker pursued his victim are also amazing to me. Read A bully finds a pulpit on the web on NewYorkTimes.com. This fol …
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The pets of Love Fraud
My book, Love Fraud, has quite a cast of characters. Besides me and my con artist ex-husband, there are seven other women who he victimized, assorted friends, family and business associates, my new husband, three psychics, a channeler, an energy healer, and seven pets. Why did I include the pets? To illustrate the point that all of life is connected. We are all part of the same universal consciousness. The pets came into my life for a reason—to accompany me through my struggles. In fact, it was with my dog, Beau, that I first ventured into the feeling realm of love. My dog offered me what is so often difficult to find among the humans in our lives—unconditional love. His love was safe to e …
Blame the victim fallacies
Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That's the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year. The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states: The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III …