For people who feel like their love lives are lacking, Valentine's Day can be really miserable. I know. I spent far more years of my adult life alone than I spent attached. Pining for romance makes us vulnerable to the sweet nothings of the sociopath. Of course, we don't realize when we hear those smooth, silky words that they literally are nothings—empty promises. We think they're the answers to our prayers. Our dreams come true. Then, at some point, we shockingly discover that our “relationship” with Prince or Princess Charming is nothing but a cruel mirage. We've been tricked. We find ourselves once again single, but now we're also carrying whatever additional devastation the socio …
Donna Andersen on Upfront & Straightforward radio show Feb. 10
I'll be a guest on the Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie radio show tomorrow night. The topic: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths. I will discuss "10 Signs that you're dating a sociopath," along with other issues related to these social predators. The show is on Blog Talk Radio, so you can listen to it on your computer. It starts at 10 p.m. EST I'll be on from 10:15 p.m. EST to 11:25 p.m. EST. Here's a link: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths This is a call-in show, so if you have a question, feel free to join the conversation. The phone number is 646-478-5710. UPDATE: The show is archived on Blog Talk Radio—to listen, just click the …
Donna Andersen on Upfront & Straightforward radio show Feb. 10Read More
LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Here’s why we need to educate high school students
I'll be presenting information about sociopaths to students in two New Jersey high schools next month. A blog posted recently on Women Explode reminds me why I am doing this. Although the author referred to the callous boy she was with as a "Psychotic Frog," he doesn't sound delusional. He sounds like a classic sociopath. At least she escaped, and the story has a happy ending. Read Psychotic Frog on WomenExplode.com. …
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Find meaning in the betrayal
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “lostgirl.” I fell hopelessly in love with (read as I would have given him my real heart and died for him) a sociopath/psychopath. Skip the details. I am four years divorced. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't grieve the loss of the relationship I thought I had. I cognitively know that the person I married was not who I thought he was and I even believe I know how he came to be. Unfortunately, I have never felt anger, only sadness for what I viewed as the person he could hav …
The Marriage Masks: Three types of sociopathic relationships
Here at Lovefraud, we've heard thousands of horror stories of marriages to sociopaths. Thinking about these unfortunate involvements, it seems to me that there are three types of romantic relationships with sociopaths. I call them the Marriage Masks, and they are: 1. Calculated exploitation The sociopath targets an individual for the explicit purpose of exploiting him or her, using the unsuspecting partner for money, sex, a place to live or something else that the sociopath wants. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, targeted me because I had what he wanted: money, good credit, my own home and business connections in the city where he decided he was going to make a fortune. He sweet …
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The tangents and the point
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is a long, expansive story, and there's a reason for its complexity. The reason is in the book's subtitle. Love Fraud tells the story of my marriage to a sociopathic con artist. It's a juicy, outrageous tale, full jaw-dropping lies and manipulation. The book focuses a harsh light on the despicable behavior of my ex-husband, James Montgomery. My goal is to give people an up close and personal look at what it's really like to be targeted by a sociopath. But that isn't my only goal. I believe the …
Locking up bad fathers is good for kids
A new study by Economist David Neumark at the University of California - Irvine found that married, two-person households are not always best for children. The study found that the increased incarceration of minority men contributed to fewer minority high school dropouts. Read Kids are all right with just mom, on the University of California - Irvine website. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
When to trust your man (or woman)
The question was, “When can you trust your man?” A reporter who was writing an article on the topic for a major women's magazine asked the question. It showed up in my e-mail because I subscribe to a service that distributes questions from reporters to experts all around the world who may be able to answer them. I knew what the reporter was looking for. She wanted succinct little tips like: “You can trust your man if he always shows up when he says he will, or at least calls to tell you he'll be late.” “You can trust your man if he introduces you to his mother.” “You can trust your man if he shows you his income tax return.” But, after being married to a sociopath, and hearin …
Sociopaths and credit cards
Sociopaths love credit cards—especially when they are in someone else's name. Lovefraud recently received an e-mail from a woman whose daughter is married to a sociopath. “How do they do it?” she asked. “How do they get you to put credit cards in your name that they will use?” Our daughter has now procured a card, ugh, (only found out since the billing came here) and I know this is for HIS use and he will be the one using it, burying her in debt that she will never get out of and do you think for a minute HE will pay this debt?? Ha! He does NOT have credit cards (I often wonder why)? Refuses to get one, why? But it's okay to use hers?? I can relate to this experience, because it happened t …
How the pain of abuse lasts a lifetime
A few days ago, Bill Zeller, a 27-year-old graduate student at Princeton University, died. The cause: suicide. The reason: He was tormented due to being repeatedly raped as a child. Zeller left a 4,000-word suicide note that eloquently explained the effect that the devastation had on his life. There is a link to it in this article: Princeton student kills self over rape as child, on CBSNews.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …