How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Complaint against the magistrate

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Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as "Aussiegirl" will be in court on December 6, 2010, seeking an extension of the Violence Restraining Order that she has against her ex-husband. She was already in court On October 18, 2010, because her ex had violated the existing order. The magistrate didn't take Aussiegirl seriously, and she's lodged the following complaint against him. Aussiegirl asks for your moral support during her next court date. I write in relation to the conduct of a Magistrate who tried my ex-husband for a breach to a Violence Restraining Order (VRO) at the **** Courthouse on Monday 18th October this year. My complaint is not about the judicial decision reached …

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No more narcissists in the DSM 5

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Earlier in the year, Lovefraud submitted a comment giving our views on the draft of the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, DSM 5. We commented on the proposed new term for antisocial personality disorder, "antisocial/psychopathic type," and the diagnostic criteria. One of the changes that the DSM 5 committee proposed was eliminating the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. According to an article in the New York Times, not everyone is happy about it. Read A fate that narcissists will hate: being ignored on NYTimes.com. …

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Sociopaths target our dreams

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail. In it, I felt like I was reading a rerun of my experience. I was involved with one of those 1 to 4% sociopaths/scammers you've outlined in your website. I lost everything — Long story — you already know it — he was so charming — the love of my life — kind generous, giving, very sexy in and out of bed — Anyways, it's been just over 3 yrs (I was only with him 2 + yrs with a 3-month breakup period. Yep I took him back — Call me a LOSER now and hit the delete button — Wait, please don't.) and I'm living in a mobile home park. Not any of the three properties I had on a golf course.  Sold two of them and the third is heading for foreclosure.  …

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Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem

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Here's the headline for the cover story in the September/October issue of Scientific American Mind magazine: Inside the mind of a psychopath Neuroscientists are discovering that some of the most cold-blooded killers aren't bad. They suffer from a brain abnormality that sets them adrift in an emotionless world. The authors of the article are Kent A. Kiehl and Joshua W. Buckholtz. Dr. Kiehl is the researcher who examines the brains of psychopaths in prison using fMRI technology. Lovefraud wrote about him before in Psychopaths, crime and choice. This latest article, Inside the mind of a psychopath, is an excellent overview of the personality disorder. It summarizes the characteristics …

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Sociopaths explain their own words

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Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity. Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey. We ask, “How can this be?” We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”) We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn't live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.) Well, let's take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they …

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“Love Fraud” book earns 5 stars in first independent review

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In the book publishing business, reviews by respected sources are critical. As soon as we had printed copies of Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, we sent it to about a dozen reviewers like Publisher's Weekly, the New York Times Book Review and the Library Journal. The first review is in, from the Midwest Book Review. Founded in 1976, the Midwest Book Review publishes monthly book publications specifically for community and academic librarians, booksellers, and the general reading public. Of the 169 books reviewed in the Small Press Bookwatch for November, 2010, Love Fraud is one of two books listed as a “Reviewer's Choice.” Here's what they wrote …

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No shame: Disgraced sociopathic governor repackages himself

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There's a little TV in the corner of my kitchen, and in the morning, as I make breakfast, I usually have it tuned to CNN. Today I was shocked to see Jim McGreevey, former governor of New Jersey, talking about his new involvement, an organization called “Faith in America.” You remember Jimbo.  He was the governor who, after someone threatened to expose his alleged affair with a male staffer, decided to spill the beans himself. On August 12, 2004, with his traumatized wife at his side, McGreevey announced to the world, “I am a gay American.” I don't believe it. McGreevey isn't gay—he's a sociopath. Many sociopaths, if not most of them, are neither gay nor straight—they're sexual opport …

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Donna Andersen to appear in Princeton, NJ

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If you live near Princeton, New Jersey (USA), please come by Borders Bookstore this Saturday, October 30, from 1 to 3 p.m. I'll be discussing my new book Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Several Lovefraud readers were in the audience this past Friday at the Borders Bookstore in Philadelphia. We had a wide-ranging, freewheeling discussion about sociopaths, and how to heal after sociopathic manipulation. I answered a lot of questions. Borders in Princeton is located at 601 Nassau Park Boulevard. Here's a link to the store's website. …

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Cyberlife and the sociopathic experience

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Two recent news items about life in today's digital age caught my attention: News item #1 The evolution of dating: Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey Behavioral Studies uncover a fundamental shift Recent studies of more than 11,000 people revealed that one in six marriages are now between people who met through an online dating site — more than twice the number of people meeting at bars, at clubs and other social events combined Additionally, the studies show that one in five new committed relationships, including marriages, are between people who met on an online dating site. News item #2 Facbook fueling divorce, research claims Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the p …

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