How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Donna Andersen

The right question in Newark killings: Is he a psychopath?

//  by //  Leave a Comment

Three college students were brutally murdered, and a fourth left for dead, in Newark, New Jersey on August 4. The three students were forced to kneel in front of a brick wall in a school playground, then shot, execution-style, in the back of the head. The three young victims, Terrance Aeriel, 18; Iofemi Hightower, 20; and Dashon Harvey, 20; as well as the lone survivor, Natasha Aeriel, 19; were universally described as "good kids." None had police records. Terrance Aeriel was an ordained minister. New Jersey news commentator Steve Adubato wrote about Terrance in his column today. Adubato personally knew the young man. Adubato is a mentor in a program called "Stand and Deliver: …

The right question in Newark killings: Is he a psychopath?Read More

GPS tracking of sex offenders and batterers

//  by //  27 Comments

Last week, the state of New Jersey established a permanent program to monitor convicted sex offenders with GPS (global positioning system) technology. For the past two years, New Jersey has had a pilot program in which 156 "high-risk" sex offenders were tracked with GPS devices. The program was set to expire, but the legislators passed a law, which the governor signed, to make it permanent. In a previous post, Sexually violent predators, Lovefraud noted that sex offenders who are diagnosed as psychopaths are likely to offend again. One study found that within six years of release from prison, 80% of psychopathic sex offenders committed additional offenses, compared to only 20% of …

GPS tracking of sex offenders and batterersRead More

7 points to remember about dating and predators

//  by //  386 Comments

As human beings, we all want love and companionship in our lives. It's a basic human need, right up there with the needs for food, water and shelter. When we are lacking an intimate relationship, most of us try to fill the empty space. That leads to dating. Here is what you need to know about dating and predators. 1. Evil exists. What the evil is called—psychopath, sociopath, antisocial personality disorder, narcissist—really doesn't matter. There are evil people out there, and they can be found in all segments of society—rich, poor, male, female, all races, all religions, all communities. They look like everyone else, but they are predators. 2. If you are dating, you are a targe …

7 points to remember about dating and predatorsRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?

//  by //  37 Comments

Many people write to Lovefraud seeking advice for the situations they find themselves in due to a sociopath. I do my best to help, but sometimes the sociopath has created so much trauma that I feel like my suggestions are inadequate. Reproduced below is an e-mail exchange between a woman who faces a nearly impossible situation—we'll call her Theresa—and myself. If you have any suggestions that may help her, please post them in a comment. Theresa's first letter When I met my husband he was divorced (three times) and had joint custody of his biological son and stepdaughter. At the time it appeared as though he was this loving and caring dad, and he was so convincing that I was the one per …

LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?Read More

Fred Brito claims he’s “The Benevolent Con”

//  by //  24 Comments

Last month Dr. Liane Leedom wrote an article called Fred Brito: A con artist profiled by Dateline. Dr. Leedom's observations about the Dateline story were: Fred fooled many people who should have known better Fred fits the profile of a sociopath Fred projects positive energy that is nearly euphoric Fred has an enormous sense of entitlement Fred sought the company of high-status individuals Fred doesn't appear to have a love life Dr. Leedom's comments about Fred strike me as being fairly mild. They aren't the type of comments that a man who agreed to be interviewed by a national investigative television show, or someone who is running for state senator in New Mexico, …

Fred Brito claims he’s “The Benevolent Con”Read More

Book review: Win Your Child Custody War

//  by //  17 Comments

Lovefraud receives many e-mails and phone calls from parents who are in child custody disputes with sociopathic ex-partners. If this is you, you are desperate for help and advice. Personally, I think these are the most tragic cases involving sociopaths. Sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children. Children, therefore, are pawns in their game, and the game is to torture you. In the worst cases, the game is also to turn your child into a Mini Me, a budding sociopath. To make matters worse, sociopaths are capable of putting on such convincing appearances—smoothly blending partial truth with lies and accusations—that judges frequently believe them. Sociopaths also ma …

Book review: Win Your Child Custody WarRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is not love, but poison

//  by //  1 Comment

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a reader to Lovefraud. It is posted with the permission of the author. After dating Charles for a year (“the four seasons” — a term he used often in our relationship and his simultaneous relationship with Sue, it was the marker of when we would marry), I got the answer I was looking for. I had added “Family Locator Service” to my cell phone, placed my extra phone is his car and waited until 4 a.m. to have the nerve to do the fatal search. There it was in black and white — my worst fears are true. He was living with another woman. Her name is Sue, widow and mother of two children almost the same age as my own. Another family in the making less …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is not love, but poisonRead More

Gambling with a sociopath

//  by //  Leave a Comment

Over the last 30 years, the United States has seen an explosion of legalized gambling. Slot machines, blackjack tables and lotteries are a growth industry. Casinos are flourishing not far from me; I could be there every day if I wanted to. But I don't go. I'm not a gambler. Still, I know how gamblers feel because I was with a sociopath. It didn't take long for ex-husband, James Montgomery, to start taking money from me. He called his first suggestion that I give him $5,000 an "investment opportunity." Subsequent requests were described as "building our future together." Then I shouldn't worry about putting expenses on my credit cards because he would "pay everything off when the projects …

Gambling with a sociopathRead More

Sociopaths, psychopaths–just call them evil

//  by //  123 Comments

Medical and mental health professionals have differing views and opinions about the personality disorders that are the topic of Lovefraud—sociopathy, psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. You could also include narcissism and borderline personality disorder. There is disagreement among professionals about how the disorders should be defined, what causes them, and what can be done about them. As an example, take a look at a recent post along with the comments: ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy? No matter what discussions are raging in the professional world, here is what the rest of us need to know: There are evil people among u …

Sociopaths, psychopaths–just call them evilRead More

Fake doctor Jeffrey Marsalis acquitted of date rape

//  by //  5 Comments

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania has been transfixed in recent weeks by the trial of Jeffrey Marsalis, 34, who was accused of raping seven women. After five days of deliberations, a jury acquitted Marsalis of 24 counts of rape, and could not reach a verdict on one charge of rape by forcible compulsion. They did convict him of two counts of sexual assault. He could be sentenced to as many as 20 years in prison. Met on Match.com Marsalis met six of the women—all of them professionals—on Match.com. He told them he was a doctor. In fact, he walked the floors of Hahnemann Hospital in Philadelphia wearing scrubs and a lab coat. He had hospital ID badges and carried a stethoscope. His former fia …

Fake doctor Jeffrey Marsalis acquitted of date rapeRead More