How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Tribute to Karin Huffer, author of Legal Abuse Syndrome

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The survivor community lost a shining star recently with the passing of Karin Huffer, who wrote Legal Abuse Syndrome: A preventable public health problem. She also pioneered the use of the Americans with Disabilities Act to help people dealing with sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths get a fair hearing in court. Through her consulting practice, Karin personally accompanied her clients to court to help them stand up against manipulative sociopaths, whom she called "power centered individuals." Despite the fact that she was a very senior citizen and needed a walker to get around, she was absolutely indomitable in court, protecting her clients against lies, smear campaigns, and power …

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“I encountered a serial killer and escaped”

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In response to a question on Quora, a writer called "Frances Red" said yes, she had escaped a serial killer, and told the story about her ex-boyfriend, Kylr Yust: Out of nowhere he bashed my head into the dashboard, zip tied my throat to the back of his seat, and forced himself upon me. I was traumatized, all these years we had been friends and he has never even so much as raise his voice at me now all the sudden he is beating the living crap out of me and stealing a big part of my innocence and Trust. After he was finished he Release Me From the zip tie that was around my throat. He kissed me and told me he had to do that to make sure he could trust me. That was then he told me that he had …

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Why sociopaths can’t love

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One winter, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I traded colds. I got sick first, and Terry made chicken soup and did what he could to make me feel comfortable. Then, despite my best efforts to keep my germs to myself, Terry got sick. By this time I was feeling better. So I went to the store and bought cold medicine, tissues and orange juice, because I'd used everything up. I made him chicken soup. I even made him a pot of chili. As I did all this, I noticed a warm feeling within me. It was the joy of taking care of someone I loved. I was concerned about his health and wellbeing. I was happy and energized to help him. It was a feeling sociopaths never experience, because sociopaths …

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29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths

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Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning. Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest. When we're involved with a …

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Australian woman loses $305,000 in romance scam

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Scammers continue to pose as American soldiers. In a terrible recent romance scam, a 34-year-old woman from Brisbane, Australia lost AU$305,000 (US$220,210) to a man posing as a US soldier. The con man, Cosmos Emeh, 32, claimed to be deployed in Syria, but he was actually also living in Brisbane, with his Australian partner. He convinced the target to send him $200,000 via a money transfer service. Then, in a highly unusual twist, he actually showed up at the woman's home, claiming to be a "fixer" for the soldier, and collected and additional $105,000. Finally, the woman called the police. The cops conducted a sting operation and caught the guy. This was also highly unusual — usually, I …

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Webinar teaches you to spot a sociopath or narcissist partner

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Upcoming webinar: The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It Jan. 16, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET $18.75 — or FREE with the Lovefraud 5-part Masterclass Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com  More info Sociopaths and narcissists are easy to spot, once you know what to look for. That's exactly what I'll teach you in this 1-hour webinar, so you can keep them out of your life. The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It This is the original Lovefraud webinar, and I'm presenting it again for the first time in almost three years, updated with the latest information. Here are highlights of what you'll learn in the webinar: What is a sociopath? Where are they? Male and female s …

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8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths

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It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …

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Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?

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Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call  “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …

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Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland

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Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …

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After the breakup, do sociopaths return?

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Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …

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