How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths

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Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning. Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest. When we're involved with a …

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Australian woman loses $305,000 in romance scam

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Scammers continue to pose as American soldiers. In a terrible recent romance scam, a 34-year-old woman from Brisbane, Australia lost AU$305,000 (US$220,210) to a man posing as a US soldier. The con man, Cosmos Emeh, 32, claimed to be deployed in Syria, but he was actually also living in Brisbane, with his Australian partner. He convinced the target to send him $200,000 via a money transfer service. Then, in a highly unusual twist, he actually showed up at the woman's home, claiming to be a "fixer" for the soldier, and collected and additional $105,000. Finally, the woman called the police. The cops conducted a sting operation and caught the guy. This was also highly unusual — usually, I …

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Webinar teaches you to spot a sociopath or narcissist partner

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Upcoming webinar: The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It Jan. 16, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET $18.75 — or FREE with the Lovefraud 5-part Masterclass Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com  More info Sociopaths and narcissists are easy to spot, once you know what to look for. That's exactly what I'll teach you in this 1-hour webinar, so you can keep them out of your life. The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It This is the original Lovefraud webinar, and I'm presenting it again for the first time in almost three years, updated with the latest information. Here are highlights of what you'll learn in the webinar: What is a sociopath? Where are they? Male and female s …

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8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths

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It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …

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Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?

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Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call  “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …

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Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland

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Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …

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After the breakup, do sociopaths return?

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Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …

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Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life

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The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her "secret agent" husband has three other wives. This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories: Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American 'secret agent' husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children. Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental in helping Jordan get arrested in h …

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Three miserable Christmases with the sociopath, and how to heal from the memories

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I spent three Christmases with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Every one of them was stressful, unhappy, worrisome and bereft of joyful holiday spirit. Christmas 1996 We had known each other for five months. We'd already had a secret wedding in Australia with his friends and family. For friends and family in New Jersey, we were planning another wedding in January, complete with bridesmaids, a fancy reception for 60 guests and a six-piece band. Montgomery had already blown through $50,000 of my money and credit, and I did not know how we were going to pay for the wedding. And shortly before Christmas Montgomery pressured me into leasing a new car for him. His solution to …

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Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident

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Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police. McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn't moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster's car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported: According to police, she told investigators "I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything." Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and "cut her in …

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